We have been separated 7 months and divorced 4. My ex had an affair so the divorce went very quickly. My son has just found out that his Dad's friend is actually his girlfried and he is a little angry right now. He has refused to talk to his Dad. Yesterday something very exciting happened in my son's life. I called my ex to give him a heads up that his son would likely call him. Something I thought they both needed. So...my son called his Dad repeatly over 3 hours on his cell. He was very disappointed that his Dad did not answer. So I went in another room and called the other woman's cell and guess what - he answered. He has call display - he chose not to answer his son's call. I got angry. I told him to call his son and hung up. Then he called me back and said the most hurtful things and even threatened me. Why? Maybe I should not have got angry but I am tired of covering for him. Is it right for a father to be our of touch completely? What if it was an emergency?
2006-11-19 02:57:01 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow ...that was a quick break up.....YOu should stop covering for him.....Let his relationship with his son be between those 2. Don't ever say anything negative about your ex around your son...dont lie to him...if he asks questions that you cant answer honestly w/out berating...just say I dont know the answer to that son...(like..why doesn't my dad call meor come see me??)...always be there for your son....Try not to let your son know when you are pissed @ ex....his emotions will follow yours....if u r upset, he will be upset,,,but he will feel like he is betraying dad at same time........You are in a tough situation....be wise......No,,,,it is not right for the father to be completely out of touch...But you cant control that, nor should you try....All you can control is how you respond to life's situations.....If emergency....do the best you can without ex.....What if he was dead..what would you do???......In life your son will see and make up his own mind about father and his actions......If you always get in the middle and try to control situation....you will be blamed for outcome.....Just be there , love, support and do what is right for your child......One day...he will see who the self centered *** is.........
2006-11-19 03:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of father was he when you divorced? Was he there for you son? If not or not that much, why should you expect so much now? If this is the way he wants it, let it go. Do not say anything to your son about his dad. This only makes you look bad and trust me form experience, he will learn on his own. If he thinks more of this woman than you son, that is sad. If he was smart( obviously not ) he could have the best of both worlds. Let him go, find the next best thing to dad for your son. There are a lot of good men out there just waiting.
2006-11-19 03:41:21 · answer #2 · answered by shyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a real as* hole. You had every right to be angry. You dont have to talk badly about your ex, but stop making excuses for him. Your son, no matter how old he is, isnt stupid. Tread lightly, because if you continue to make excuses, your son may eventually hold it against you for not being honest with him.
Dont call the ex unless its completely necessary. If its a 911, make the call. If he doesnt answer, then leave a message and leave it at that. And if he ever starts talking to you the way he just did, just hang up. You are divorced, you dont have to take that crap anymore.
2006-11-19 03:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by JC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is very sad...I get angry when I hear of this type of behavior from so called parents....A child is the most important thing and I don't care why or who is to blame...I feel that he has always been lacking in the supportive parent department...Just try and play both roles the best you can...Your son will grow up and have nothing but respect and love for you....Good Luck
2006-11-19 03:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The innocent victims of divorce are the children, the suffer the most. You need to explain to your son that you don't hate his father, (even if you do) but that you hate some of the decisions his father makes.
This leaves the door open for your son, but it will also give him realistic expectations of his father. Don't run the father down to him, but help him understand that his dad is selfishly placing his girlfriend as a first priority.
Kids are smart.
2006-11-19 03:02:58 · answer #5 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww i feel bad for your son. This ex seems like a jerk. I think you should just not call him and dont tell your son to call. You both deserve better than this. You should just give your son all the love and support that you can! Good luck to you and your son.
2006-11-19 03:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because your ex is in a selfish mode right now and only wants to think about himself. He sounds like a first class jerk. You can't make him do what he doesn't want to do, which is a shame because you sound like you have a great son. HE has to make the first move, it's not up to your son. You'r ex needs to start acting like an adult and father.
2006-11-19 04:12:43 · answer #7 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think me and you have the same ex. Mine thinks with his other head. Only what is good for him and her. Not his son.
2006-11-19 03:13:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ye sit has right of a father to be out completely as many persons believe why to keep contact when other person breaks the relationship........charm goes away............
2006-11-19 03:00:56 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Looks like you need to stay away from your ex...
2006-11-19 03:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋