The wife spent 2000 dollars this weekend without my permission. What should I do?

Question

The wife went out and did some "early Christmas shopping" and spend 2000 dollars yesterday. This was totally without my permission, luckily I ended up finding out when I checked our online banking statement this morning. She knows better than this, should I lay down the law? Take away the card? Make her take the stuff back?

Answer 1

You are the one that knows the limitations of your budget, so make a decision whether or not to have her return the stuff.

Take the card away, give it back when necessary with specific limitations if the card is in your name only, if its in both of your names, you have no right to do anything.

Answer 2

You might start by taking a giant step into the 21st Century and quit acting like a Neanderthal. Then, you might thank her for taking care of the Christmas shopping and sparing you the effort of going from store to store and making selections for all the people on your list. In most homes, it is the wife who does the Christmas shopping, so she probably assumed that was what was expected of her. However, next year, if you would really like to participate in the selection of gifts, tell her so and then share the work involved.

I hope you are planning to give her some very nice gifts to show your appreciation for all she does for you and I hope you change your attitude. It can't be much fun to live with a man who thinks it is his place to "give permissionn" and "lay down the law."

Answer 3

is this what she spends every year, maybe she spent it on you. And why does she have to ask to spend money. Are you broke? Even if she doesn't work outside the house, she is still working inside the house, taking care of all your things, laundry, cleaning, cooking, doesn't that have some value? You guys are all the same. Wake up, mister, and since she does all the Christmas shopping well, maybe you should thank her instead of trying to control her.

Another thing, does she spend money foolishly? You know, I spend a lot more than that on Christmas gifts and the funny part is that it's all for my husbands family, i don't have family.......so if he complained then i would just cut out giving gifts.

Answer 4

Nothing but a bunch of spoilt girls on here answering you. Gentleman's answer: Be polite, BUT sit her down and ask her whats going on? Be firm but fair. She may have a reason, however if you didn't really have the money to spend and she did so anyway, knowingly then there is a problem. If you make plenty of money and this is more of a control issue for you and not a financial one, then maybe you're the problem. What ever you do, you must confront this but remember you don't have all the facts, after you ask her and learn her reasons then make a decision and stick to it....period. then tell her you love her....Good luck.

Answer 5

What else does she do without your permission. Marriage is a 2 way street. Communication is key.

Take the check book. Give her a check in her name for Christmas expenditures. That's some b.s. What is her problem?

Of course, I take it that you are the sole breadwinner in the family? If not, and it's her money.....well. She still should have discussed a budget for Christmas gifts with you.

Talk to her. Lay down limits and above all, communicate.

Answer 6

Does she contribute to the house hold expenses? If she does, that helps but when spending big bucks that should be discussed between the two of you and a set amount for Christmas. It is getting so out of hand, If this is the first time she has done this just talk to her and let her know that you would appreciate knowing when she is going to spend this kind of money. She does it again, snatch the card.

Answer 7

Well think of it this way. Maybe with some of that money she bought something really really nice for you ;o) So if you tell her to take them back you will never know what that really really nice thing was she bought for you right? ;o) Unless the moneys going to make you do without important things such as a house payment or etc. thank your lucky stars she has the Christmas shopping over with and you didn't have to go along, since most men would rather not go shopping with their wives. ;o)

Answer 8

Does your wife bring in income? If so, it is her right to spend her money. I do think that some discussion should be done before either spends such an amount. This varies a great deal among couples. At the least, you need to have a discussion about this issue. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

Well, the stuff is bought. Don't take it back unless you just cannot aford to live without doing so. Souds like you should take the card away for a while but my advice to you is and this is what my husband and I do. We have 3 checking accounts. One is for bills, one is his and one is mine. We slpit our paychecks up. He doesn't know my account # and I don't know his. This way you both have allowances and no problems. Occasionally we borrow from eachother, but we pay eachother back next check. It has worked out GREAT! NO MORE MONEY FIGHTS! But ya'll need to come to an understanding I agree...Sorry that happened...

Answer 10

Confront her about it, but don't get angry with her. Explain to her that you just cannot spend on these kind of luxuries, and help her sort out the things she bought, the things to keep and the things to return to the store. If money is tight, reason with her that you can only spend on things that are necessary for now. If she is not the type of person you can reason with, just tell her that she needs to return most of the stuff she bought, and from now onwards, just get her a prepaid credit card. It will help her to learn to spend wisely.