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2006-11-19 02:22:24 · 14 answers · asked by Sushi 1 in Social Science Psychology

Sorry, the last part got cut off. I meant 'people-pleasing', not people.

2006-11-19 02:53:25 · update #1

14 answers

It depends on what you need to give to compromise, and their importance. I don't think it is good to compromise your strongly held beliefs to get along; however, it is not always necessary to state them either. It's a judgement call.

2006-11-19 04:08:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

depends what the conflict is about.
consider time.
How important will this issue be in 10years?
You will most likely have met new friends, you might have a new job, you might find a partner and get married. You might have kids. You might become a grandparent.
How much influence will this particular conflict have on you in 10 years time, or 5 years time or 2 years time or 1 years time or 6 months time or 3 months time or 2 months time or 4 weeks time or 2 weeks time or 1 weeks time or 3 days time or 1 days time or 1 hours time.
Everyone on the planet is different.
Everyone on the planet has the right to be happy.
You have the right to be happy and the person / people whom you have a conflict have the right to be happy.
If they are encroaching on you r happiness then try to mediate / negotiate / work out a solution that reduces harm to everyone involved. If they are not interested in your happiness, then ignore them and look for what is best for you. If they are willing to work it out, then work it out.
But if they don't care about you, then you have to fight fire with fire. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", is from the bible. But I prefer to use the saying " do unto others as they do unto you" if they ignore me, then I ignore them. If they mess with me, then I mess with them, if they help me, then I help them. If I mean something to them, then they mean something to me. But always start out any relationship (basically, any interaction with any person) with a positive attitude, smile, be happy, be expressive, be respectful ( which means be aware of who they are and avoid doing things to cause conflict ).

This last point can be a problem.
For example in some of the middle eastern countries, it is considered rude / impolite for women to wear skimpy clothing. For you to be respectful of them, you would avoid wearing skimpy clothing.
For example if you have a party and people turn up who you didn't invite and start throwing your furniture around destroying your property, that is disrespectful.
For example, if a male goes to a lesbian bar and tries to pick up the lesbians, that is disrespectful.

BUT
For example if you go to a beach in the greek islands and wear skimpy clothin, that is not disrespectful.
For example if you turn up to a party that you were not invited to, and you contribute to the party by helping to serve food, or stop people from trashing the place, then that is not disrespectful, but in this situation, if you were not invited, the host of the party still has the right to ask you to leave and then it would be respectful of you to leave when asked, and disrespectful of you to stay against the wishes of the host.

The question you asked, is " is it better?"
it depends on what your ultimate ideal outcome is regarding the conflict. Do you want respect, and do you want to be respected?

2006-11-19 03:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by dd_lee123 2 · 0 0

It is always better to make peace!!! Trust me! Just on Friday, I was in a really bad fight with a friend (she called me a b*tch), and even though I knew that I hadn't done anything wrong besides tell her that talking about people behind their backs is mean and dishonest, I still apologized, because it feels much better to just be in peace with people. I felt so much happier after that than I had the previous days of that week!!! It is never good to keep hurt and unnecessary feelings built up inside of you, because then you could say something to someone that could damage yours/their relationship permanently! Please go and apologize for whatever it is you did (or didn't do)!

2006-11-19 02:34:08 · answer #3 · answered by spursfan010 2 · 0 0

Depends on the magnitude of the other person's "error." If a position can reasonably be argued either way, then perhaps it's best to defer to the other person's argument in order to keep the peace. But if their position is obviously ridiculous and wrong, and perhaps even dangerous, then stick to your guns, so to speak.

2006-11-19 02:25:46 · answer #4 · answered by Stretchy McSlapNuts 3 · 0 0

Be true to you. you must keep healthy personal boundaries or you will be sucked dry and squashed like road kill. NO ONE IS GOING TO LOOK AFTER YOU EXCEPT YOU. Love the you that deserves all the love you can give it. Making peace is not submitting and betraying yourself. Be of integrity. If you need to be different do so. No one is wrong or right we are all learning to be correct. We are but the actors upon the stage of illusion called life.Be kind to your self , you are your best friend.

2006-11-19 02:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by iamonetruth 3 · 1 0

If it's a minor issue then make peace and settle. But if it's about basic principles that you feel strongly about, then stick to your position, no matter what.

2006-11-19 02:30:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0 0

You need to stand up for what you believe in. Can you imagine what the world would be like today if people just gave up the fight and made peace? If its something small and stupid, then try to resolve it quickly, but don`t change your stand on something.

2006-11-19 02:35:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

if it's one of those silly conflicts like color of a given object, they say purple and you think blue, then it's not worth debating/ fighting over, but if it's a value core such as the sanctitiy of human life and the other person beliefs in abortion, then that's where you stick to your guns. ideally if youhave a good vale system and core beliefs and you tend to stick to your guns, then you tend to attract and or be attracted to likewise people, so then youreally never have arguements and be in the drama life, so conflict management is really your responsiblity, it who you filter in and our of your life that determines what conflicts you may have in life, if any.

2006-11-19 02:29:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

nicely at the start, enable me maximum appropriate the thought the Palestinians and Israelis are "Christians". The Israelis are Jews, and the Palestinians are Muslim (Islam). till a man or woman recognizes Jesus Christ with the aid of fact the Messiah, and the redeemer for his or her sin, they do no longer seem to be seen Christian. there are a number of Messianic Jews (Jews that have faith in Jesus with the aid of fact the Messiah) yet that's a topic count number for yet another communicate board. the two the Jews and Muslims discover their roots contained in the Bible - as the two religions are descended via Abraham. Abraham had 2 sons - one by his servant Hagar - the childs call became into Ishmael. the different son by his spouse Sarah - the childs call became into Isaac. God promised Abraham that His blessing could be with Isaac, no longer with Ishmael. (you may examine all this contained in the e book of Genesis financial ruin sixteen and 17) The angel that spoke to Hagar advised her this approximately Ishmael: "he would be a wild donkey of a guy; his hand would be against all of us and all of us’s hand against him, and he will stay in hostility in the direction of all his brothers.” Islam (the religion of Muslims) got here contained in the time of the descendants of Ishmael, and Judaism (the Jewish concept equipment) and at last Christianity got here contained in the time of the descendants of Isaac. The Palestinians - and specifically the extremist team observed as Hamas - are descendants of Ishmael, and could stay in hostility in the direction of all his brothers as foretold almost 4000 years in the past. I doubt maximum of them even recognize why they might't get alongside. Its sort of like the Hatfields and McCoys - they have been scuffling with against one yet another see you later, they do no longer even recognize what the feud is approximately anymore. In any adventure - the Bible is obvious approximately how this is going to ensue, and at this element in time - Israel isn't defeated. finally there will be plenty conflict with the worldwide and based around Israel, there will be a prefer for a 7 year peace treaty - at which era the tip would be close to. yet returned, that could desire to be an entire communicate board by itself. i'm hoping this has helped answer your question.

2016-10-04 03:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

i think it depends on the situation, who it is with, and does it directly effect you. like for instance, if you and your husband are driving and you both don't know where you are going. so you want to stop and ask someone but he does not. does this constitute a fight or should you just let him figure it out for himself? my opinion is he will find that he does not know where he's going and will in the end have you ask for directions. but for example if you don't agree with abortion rights that's fine but should you go out and blow up an abortion clinic because YOU don't believe in what SOMEONE else does and you don't know anything about this person? get it?

2006-11-19 02:35:34 · answer #10 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 0 0

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