bipolar daughter is taering my family apart?

Question

my 16 yo daughter has mixed state bipolar, ADD and anxiety disorder. She is tearing my family apart. She's angry, hostile, rude obnoxious, constantlly breaks rules, swears, refuses to be disciplined, and is just plain MEAN!!! She rapid cycles and can be laughing one second and screaming the next, she's verbally abusive toward us, cannot keep friends, tears up our house and refuses to take any responsibilty for her actions-everything wrong in her life is my fault. I am embarrassed to have people over becasue you never know what she's going to do or say, and she smells from not bathing. YES, she's on meds, just added a new one for the wild mood swings and YES she sees a counselor. The counselor tends to side with her because she doesn't tell him the truth about her behavior. My marriage is in trouble, my other kids have told me they feel neglected and are having trouble themselves because I spend all my time "dealing" with my daughter. I'm exhausted and can't do this anymore. Ideas??

I'm sorry, but I don't understand the "cast the lot" quote...explain please. Normally, I'm pretty good with this, but just so tired I 'm not thinking straight.

Answer 1

find a residential treatment center for her now. My daughter almost destroyed my marriage, caused most of our family friends and some family to disappear from our lives. She's broken my nose twice, broke the turn signal off hubby's car, broke more phones than I can count and tries to rule the house. Hubby and I are both on Lexapro now just to deal with her ****. Get her admitted now.

Answer 2

While I don't tend to think that institutionalizing someone is a good idea, it might be in this case. It doesn't look like the meds are doing much, or, if they are they may be creating some pretty awful side effects which she has to cope with.

Mental illness isn't inherently bad, we as a society make it that way. Unfortunately, it sounds like your daughter could be the poster child for what mental illness does to a person. She has a pretty rough combination of disorders and needs to be monitored and recieving mental care in a facility where her behavior is also observed.

Since she is 16, she might be having some trouble with her identity and perhaps her hormones. She has a lot on her plate and might not know exactly how to deal with it all. Perhaps as a temporary solution attempt, maybe a support group. And if possible, find a support group or family counselor for yourself and your family.

This is a long shot, but it worked OK with someone I dated who was bipolar (but I do understand that dating someone and being someone's parents are VERY different roles), but, I did some research on it and I did what I could instill a fairly regular sleep schedule, excersize, and a diet with a lot of vegetables and fruits in them. But this might not work too well as she isn't really bathing so why would she excersize? Anyway, in that case I recommend that if you do find a residential treatment center for her to work on those goals for your own family.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I am currently being treated for bipolar as well as many other mental illnesses and I can honestly say your daughters actions sound very similar to me. But even though I act angry and hostile, I don't see it myself. I feel like everyone else is the wrong one, not me. Everyone says I lie to my therapist too, but I just tell her what I see in my head. I don't tell them what others, the sane people see. Bipolar is a form of mental condition, which means what is in our heads is not necessarily in everyone else's head. And I certainly wouldn't claim responsibility for actions I feel were justified. My advice is to be strong and wait it out. Therapy is supposed to help her realize when she is acting wrongfully. Within time she will realize when she is wrong and then she can change for the better. I hope this has helped.

Answer 4

Because she is under 18, you can have her hospitalized on an adolescent psychiatric unit to get her stablized. I am also an ultra-rapid cycler and wish my parents had done that with me (I wasn't diagnosed until I was 35). Get your whole family into therapy NOW so you all can learn how to handle this and support each other. I got my son into therapy as soon as I got out of the hospital (he was 11), and it saved his ***.
There are two books I can recommend. "Bipolar Disorder for Dummies" and "Surviving Bipolar Disorder". Barnes and Noble has both of them, and the books are very thorough.
The best of luck to you. This CAN be managed!

Answer 5

Find a new counselor or doctor. She may need to be hospitalized until she is stable. Any counselor should not be listening to her only. You need to be consulted. My son's counselor asks me how things are going. She knows he will just tell her everything is fine, even if it isn't. I know what you are going through. My son is 16 y/o and diagnosed bipolar and Asperger's syndrome. Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 6

I feel for you since I have been through the same thing with my step-daughter. I hate to say, it does not get any better. All you can do while she is still a minor is keep taking her to the doctor, the counselor, and try to make sure she takes her meds. Stand your grounds on house rules. Don't bend them because of her. She will rebel, but it isn't fair for the other kids that do follow the rules. You can, however, work on your relationships with your spouse and other children. Exhausted as your bi-polar daughter makes you, make time for yourself, your marriage and your other kids. Stay strong!

Answer 7

You need to see a psychiatrist..
BiPolar Rapid Cycling is as often as every day but not from
minute to minute...
She needs to change her meds...
Have her committed for a few weeks until they get
her meds fine-tuned and she is back under control..

Answer 8

i can only see one solution and u may hate me for saying this....have u considered putting her into a mental institution? profesionals will look after her cauz obviously she needs help and u will be able to focus on your family and life...and u will be able to visit her. its not your fault she is the way she is and u have tried everything but how much more pressure can the family take? why should their lives be ruined because of one person? what if she tries hurting u or someone else in the family one day? think about it...

Answer 9

if anyone had ideas we wouldn't need a government would we?
There is a proverb though,casting the lot seperates the mighty