to work till 12am and we had 2 kids he use to drink a lot and I would fine him drunk on the floor with a line of beer cans all over when I got home I got tried of it, but we went out all the time we go to the beaches and the movies, restarant, vacations, anywhere, I wanted and what ever I wanted. but I got tried and found some one else and threw him out and both of us remarried to someone else well I been married for 6 years and he been married for 4 but my new husband doesnt like to do anything or go anywhere he tells me I can go If I want to, and he dont drink . one day I had a dream that I wanted to go back with my ex I dont know what happend but I want to go back with the father of my kids we are friends he tells me he loves me cause Im his kids mother but hes not in love with me anymore I know I messed up and now Im just missable sometime we talk and he tells me try to get me back and I say how he says I dont know how to get him back can someone help me.
2006-11-19 01:53:03 · 17 answers · asked by nancy o 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Mistakes were made. You need to work on your current relationship with your husband. Get counseling. It is not too late. You have a wonderful life and can't see it. Get help. Talk with your husband. Stay away from your ex-husband as much as reasonable until your relationship with your husband is solidified. Again, sorry about the mistakes. BUT/AND now you have to live with them just like everyone else. You can and will enjoy your husband. I have confidence in you. Get help.
Consider the following book:
"Love life for every married couple" by Ed Wheat, M.D. and Gloria Okes Perkins
You'll be glad you read it and applied it. You'll also be glad you got help. I am glad I got help. My marriage is getting better, slowly but surely.
2006-11-19 02:06:15 · answer #1 · answered by Jack 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get on with the life you have. You and your ex had your time together and now it's over, so accept it. Even if you went back to HIS crap, you'd soon tire from that and you'll long for the OTHER guy again! You can't be happy with an alcoholic, and you can deal with the man you now have and be thankful. I think you're just bored. You should just take a class or a hobby, but forget about cheating! Nothing good comes out of longing for things you shouldn't or cannot have.
2006-11-19 02:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are remembering the good times, and not the ones that caused you such emotional pain. If you get back with your ex, you may go places like you used to, but he will still drink, and you will still be unhappy. I think you should either begin doing things on your own, or find someone sober that enjoys going out and doing things with you. But getting back with your ex is a big mistake. Do you want your kids to grow up with an alcoholic? If you don't want to think what is best for you, then think of what is best for your children.
2006-11-19 02:06:47 · answer #3 · answered by Miami Lilly 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first question to you is, do you really want HIM back? I understand that you miss the outings and fun that you used to have with him, but that's not a good reason to go back to him. You can do those things by yourself or with your friends. As for your current husband not wanting to do these things with you, there are a couple things you can try. Find things that you are both interested in and try to do them together. If you feel that the problem is something more, maybe seek some couples counseling and try to work it out.
You have to decide if you really want to be in the marriage your in now. Weigh to positive and negative. As for your ex, he doesn't sound that great. If you really do want him back, think of these things first: Does he still drink, has he ever harmed you physically, does he respect you and if so is he willing to change? If you do take him back, don't make it easy for him. He should have to prove himself to you, stop drinking and appreciate that you are a woman that is working to support her family,(working until 12 am). If you find that both of these men are wrong for you then move on. There are alot of good men out there. Until then, learn how to have fun with yourself and your kids. Who says we have to have a man to be happy? Good luck to you!
2006-11-19 02:11:00 · answer #4 · answered by siegerlm 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey, why would you want a man like that back? a man who tells you he isn't in love with you? have more self love than that. besides alcoholism is the worst thing to be a part of. when you are away from someone it is easy to forget all the bad things that happened in a relationship because you miss them so much. all you remember is the good things, but you left him for a reason, and if you go back to him, that or those reasons will surface again. they never go away. no one wants a drunk for a husband, and neither do you or you wouldn't have left him.
2006-11-19 01:58:32 · answer #5 · answered by Cassian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you left your first husband for a very good reason. Do not even think of repeating that. And remember.....he said he loves you because your the mother of his children. This means you are friends only.
It is clear you have no love for the man your with. Get a divorce. I have no doubt that he is more than likely the best thing that every happened to you but you can't see that. You still are at that age where party is all that counts.
Divorce now but do not expect your first husband to. he may actually love his new wife. leave him alone.
2006-11-19 02:05:20 · answer #6 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You must be thirteen, this is a no brain er if your in a bad relationship then get out of it but it sounds like your just bored with who your with. No you didn't screw up with your x he was a drunk and you needed to dump him. Just the fact that he wants you back is reason enough to run like hell away from this guy. When you were dating your now husband you dint know then he didn't like to do the things you did or are you like most women that say to themselves that i can change them and are disappointed when they cant. Grow up and make your marriage work.
2006-11-19 02:12:41 · answer #7 · answered by cctucker75 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want him back....Do you not remember everything that he put you and your children through..Going out on vacations and having a good time is not what its all about...Stability for you and your children is the most important..can you not have a good time without having all the drama associated with alcoholism..this is a perfect example of never being satisfied...
2006-11-19 02:38:28 · answer #8 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Please! Why in the heck would you want him around you anyway. Have some confidence and pride in yourself and keep garbage out of your life. Buckle up girl, go out get a job, any job, do the best you can do with that job and build up your private strength and most of all your strength in your thinking and attitude. Get some kind of assistance and help until you can get your life in order and go out into the world and make something out of yourself, Heaven knows he won't do it. Whatever job you can get now just do the very best that you know how because with that job you will build up character.
2006-11-19 02:01:31 · answer #9 · answered by Patricia H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is right, you don't know how to get him back. Wanna know why? Because you did not know how to keep him in the first place! Instead of cheating on him you should have tried to get him some help.
If you have any sense, you'll concentrate on keeping your current husband or you will be a two time looser, you looser!
2006-11-19 10:47:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋