I just got married a few weeks ago, and I need some advice here?

Question

My husband is an amazing and loving person. He's a real romantic, the way he speaks to me, kisses and handles me. But, whenever it came to the aspect of approaching each other, maybe for sex or a more intimate time together, neither of us seem to get it right. Maybe it's the shyness or something, from our new marriage? I'm not sure. He seems to be figuring out how to start, and i think that i should try to take matters into my own hand as well. I'm kind of new to this. How can I approach him, any advice?

Answer 1

My heart aches for you. I know firsthand about such. In my case, we were too afraid. She was scared of hurting, and I was scared of hurting her. We were both virgins.
You have several options. In nearly each case you must talk with your husband before making a decision. You can go to a doctor and have your hymen surgically cut. That will allow for much easier penetration without risk of pain if you use sufficient lubrication. Your husband should know about this plan as a courtesy. In all cases, lubrication is a must. Buy some. You can't use too much.
Make sure you both use lots of foreplay. Be assured of your love for each other. What I mean is don't be afraid of hurting each other. The phrase, "Just do it", comes to mind. You should guide him. It is no insult for you to guide him during penetration. It can be a very loving act. It might be good for you to be on top. That way you can control things and go at a rate which is comfortable to you. Assure him that you won't hurt yourself and know that you won't hurt him. A little pain might be experienced, but it passes and will not be there the next time.
As a last resort, you might try some educational adult videos. They can help in some cases. Consider the following link:
http://www.bettersex.com/sex-education-c-2.aspx
http://www.bettersex.com/better-sex-video-series-ch-1.aspx

One last bit of advice. Be careful not to get hooked on the videos. They are for reference and help. But you can get hooked if not careful.

Answer 2

And you see this as a problem? Girl what is the matter with you.

It sounds to me like both of you have little to no experience before this marriage. So what you are doing is learning. It is no different than anything else. You have to learn how to do it right.

Perhaps you both think there is a right way or wrong way to make love so feel uncomfortable with it. Well I can sure tell your married. You are just like everyone else.

This part of your marriage is the best part. You both are learning more about each other. You both are still infatuated with each other and love to make love.

There is no right way to do this. Quit out thinking yourselves. Enjoy each other any way that feels good. You have a gift. A loving and romantic husband. So many women can't say that.

You sound like you think he should have all the answers and because he doesn't you may have to take over. Well guess what. You don't have an owners manual that he can go read. You don't tell him what you like or don't like he will never know.

So work together and just enjoy what can be the best time of your lives. If you look at it right this awkward stage is fantastic. Neither of you are taking the other for granted.

Answer 3

Try this:
You'll need a sheet, massage oil, candles, music.

He gets home from a hard day of work and you inform him of your intention of giving him a massage. Before he can say anything tell him that he is not to think of it as a bother since it's something you really want to do for him. Keep going without letting him interrupt and tell him that unless he is curing cancer ot the Cubs are in the series, the time is now. Make sure you are wearing easy exit clothing and start the music. Candles should already be lit.

Have him undress. Go slow starting at it shoulders, down his back, don't skip his butt! do a good job here it breaks down the wall of exclusion since only people we let into our trust zone can be here. Work his feet and tell him to flip. Work your way up his front side in an increasingly provocative way and let the male barometer tell you if and when it's time to switch modes. If that doesn't happen, finish the massage and get counseling.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

This isn't a problem. It's a wonderful start to your life long relationship. Try to relax. You two will learn each others signals, and the best ways to push each others buttons. Over the next few decades, you guys will get to know each other better than you know yourselves. You two will look back on this learning period with wonderful memories. I doubt that either of you two would be happier if the other was so experienced that you had lovemaking down pat, with all the frills. As an old fart, I envy you the newness you guys are experiencing. Advice? Don't store your garlic next to the butter. LOL. You guys will be fine. Try to remember this time, so you can share these memories on your fiftieth anniversary.

Answer 5

The nice thing about being married is figuring out what both of you want. Both of you should be able to ask for anything with out being afraid. When you say you should take matters into your own hand indicate to me that he has started everything up to now both of you should be flirting with each other all the time, love is sharing , love is letting the other person know that what every they want is all right and every lovemaking is both persons giving of themselves with out a though of what they are gong to get out of it. Every night isn't about one person its about what you want to do for your partner some of the best nights Ive had and I'm a male Ive never put it in. Watching my wife enjoy herself is sexy as hell. Oh by the way the best way to approach a guy any guy is to grab him by the sexual organ and drag him into the bedroom. He isn't shy he just doesn't want you to think hes a pervert because he wants sex all the time.

Answer 6

Don't rush into it. It takes a while to become that intimate with someone. It doesn't just happen overnight. It will happen over time! And you have plenty of time, so just be patient. Sometimes joking about things (not all the time, but sometimes), might lighten things up a little bit. Try to concentrate on making him feel comfortable also. Trust me, he might be just as nervous about things as you! Besides, men get tired of always being the one to initiate things! Catch him off guard one day by just throwing him on the bed or something. Don't take things too seriously. Have fun.

Answer 7

I suppose you didn't have any sexual contact before getting married? Because if you did, then you wouldn't have a problem. Take matters into your own hands, you both need to work this out. Tell him what feels right, and what doesn't. Sincerity between a couple is very important. Also, don't be afraid to say what you like and don't like. Start with sexual play...like kissing him on sensitive areas.

Answer 8

You should be able to talk to him since your married. Just find out what is thinking and tell him what you are thinking and then figure out what will work for both of you. The other answer was also right, you need to practice more.

Answer 9

Gee, you two are sure shy. Why don't you just start things up? I think you two will get it down in time. It sounds as though your husband is very respectful of your feelings and a gentleman as well. Maybe if you give him a tender kiss and caress, he will feel that you are willing.

Answer 10

If he's at work, send him SMS in the morning like "Hey sexy!" and think of some cute sayings that would make him think throughout the day and so by the time he gets home is pretty much ready and so are you.

Smile! Enjoy your marriage!

God Bless!