Desperate need of advice!!!!!!!!?

Question

My fiance of 2 years is leaving me because he believes I have cheated on him. I HAVE NOT!! He said if I tell him why and that I did it he would stay. Well, I tried that before. He has a recording of him and I and the TV. He says that it is not his voice and that I had two guys here. I am not that type of person. I have been cheated on and know how it feels. I couldn't demean myself nor could I hurt him. I have done everything I could to help him and us. He had major surgery at the begining of our relationship and when his disability ran out I supported him financially and encouraged him to do good for himself. He finally got a job 3 weeks ago and now he is leaving. I know he is just insecure because in all of his major relationships the woman cheated on him. He thinks I am into weird stuff and I am not. I just want to spend the rest of my life with him and have a normal happy relationship. I am heart broken as I can see his is because of what he believes.

He has been cheated on and he doesn't have a high self-esteem. I am klingy and too nice. I must have something to hide right. I told him to take the tape and have it analyzed it would prove it. He also has used drugs on and off during our relationship as well as the last 10 years. I was helping him quite. He has such great qualities when clean. I can't have him attack my morals on a weekly or every other week basis.

Answer 1

His behavior is a strong, and I mean "strong" indication of what your life would be like with this guy.

You deserve better. Can you honestly see yourself with this man 20 years from now? Can you define nightmare???

Good riddance to him sweetie. This guy has some major issues and it is not you. He is insecure that's for sure! But no one, NO ONE can put security into another person. What a job that would be! It is not humanly possible. Why should you reconstruct yourself to meet the requirements (which means lowering yourself) of a nut job? And he is a nut job. He is not a strong man b/c a strong man looks within himself - blames himself for "his" faults, and does not look for excuses to blame others for his own inadequacy.

I certainly hope that I am making sense to you. Let him go. Someday you will find a guy that is over the top, and a guy who is deserving of your attention and love. What you have now, is most definitely not love.

Answer 2

Sorry, girl, but it does sound to me that he was waiting for a good time to leave the relationship. If you had been supporting him throughout you guy's relationship until a few weeks ago, and now that he has a job he's ready to leave, it sounds to me he was just waiting for a good opportunity to leave. He can now support himself without you. As for the tape recording...why would he supposedly have a tape recording of you 'with two other guys'? Was he trying to catch you cheating? Maybe ask him that. Tell him how rediculous that sounds. And if all else fails just remember: there is always someone better out there.

Good Luck, Girl!

Answer 3

This is going to sound cold but it sounds like he may have done you a favor by calling off the relationship. If he's so insecure that he's denying his own voice there's some major issues there. It sounds like now that he doesn't need to use you as a crutch, he's moving on.

Do yourself a favor and move on. From what you've said, you're better off without him. Get active and rebuild some of the friendships I'm sure you've let go by the wayside for him. I don't believe that a "normal, happy relationship" is possible with this man so do yourself a favor, first, get your head on straight and then find someone who wants the same things you do!

Answer 4

Let him go! It sounds as if he's looking for a reason to leave anyways. If he honestly believes you are cheating there is no real way to ever prove to him that you aren't. You can't control what another person thinks. He's apparently insecure with himself so it's a wasted effort on your part. Also...A lot of times in relationships it's the accuser that's actually cheating(something to think about.)
You seem to be a very giving person. Careful with how much you give though as it can burn you in the long run. I say you need to let him move on so you can find a more stable person to share you life with. There are a lot of guys out there that would love to share their life with a loving and giving woman and that aren't going to use you.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

I know love if blind, but apparently its deaf and dumb too? This guy is a card carrying control freak. Which may be a minor problem due to the fact that he is a paranoid schizophrenic. He hears voices and sees things that aren't there? Hello, what part of nut case do you not understand?

Or...........he may just be making all of this bull**** up because he doesn't need you anymore because now he has a job. I don't know what weird stuff he thinks your into, but maybe he thinks its weird that someone could be into him. He may have a point. Let him walk. You don't owe this nut anything.

Answer 6

ask him why he would think such a thing.. maybe you did do something that implied that you were seeing someone else. i mean you've been through a lot together so he wouldn't just go and bring this up [knowing it could ruin your relationship] unless he really felt something was wrong. if you are telling the truth and he can't see past this blindspot he's having, then maybe you guys should take a break from the relationship. if things still don't work out, then maybe you should just move on. trust is a major part of being in love with and committed to someone and if it's not there, then things might not work out.

god bless dear

Answer 7

LUCKY YOU, the loser is going to leave you. Why would you want a man who has accused you of cheating? If you confess to something you did not do to hold on to him, you are a fool. If by bad luck, he did stay and marry you, your life would be hell. My personal believe is that he needed you to support him and now he wants to find someone who will support him in a better style. You say that all of his major relationships, his gf cheated. Who told you that? Him? I'll bet if you could talk to some of his exs you would find out that the kicking boot was on his foot. Move on to something better. Do not debase yourself w him

Answer 8

He sounds insecure 2 me. Thats not the type of preson you want to spend the rest of your life with. In a relationship with two adults he should take your word and if he doesn't, that means he doesn't trust you. I dont think you wanna spend the rest of your life explaining your every move to you husband. Also it's so funny how as soon as he gets some money he is gone. Let him go its not worth it.

Answer 9

I am gonna be completely honest here. If he has been believeing that you cheated, then its seems pretty funny to me that he is gonna leave you b/c of this supposed cheating when he can support himself. In other words, he has probably wanted to leave b/c of your alleged cheating but he knows that you were the one supporting him financially. And now that he has a job, now it bothers him enuff to actually leave?? Oh come on !!!! Let him leave and he'll come crawling back once he realizes that you are one of few women who would stick with him thru the hard times.

Answer 10

I have to agree with Joey K. Are you sure this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? It seems to me that he is allowing his past relationships to influence how he interacts with you. Until he puts his past to rest, he will always be insincere, and will question the trust in this relationship with you.

You have quite a challenge here. It may help to remind him how you stood by him through all the rough times, and remained faithful.