my wife and i went to vages in march for a week we had sex almost every nite but sence then nothing how long should i wait my wife is 8 years older then i me being 43 im a horn dog ive told her ive had enough of sex by myself but still she will not give it up should i start looking for a girl more my age im at wites end one more thing we have been together for 27 years mybe thats the problem i think it mite be her change of life thing but still im 43 she wanted a younger guy now i feel she needs to give it up is this wrong of me
2006-11-19 00:19:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No sex for 8 months is BS. Talk to her about it calmly and find out what her deal is. Be ready to compromise. If she still won't EVER have sex with you then something is seriously wrong and you need to escalate the situation (counseling, divorce, whatever).
Good luck, bro.
2006-11-19 00:22:41 · answer #1 · answered by Jake S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say the problem goes far beyond the last 8 months. Both of you have chosen to stay in this empty relationship because neither wants to brave it on his/her own.
Sex in Vegas was "Thank you" sex for the getaway. But you're not in the Vegas fantasy anymore. So, it's back to what it really is. Either commit and get your butts in counseling to try to work this out, or you should leave, since the situation is obviously unacceptable to you as it remains.
The kids are grown and you and your wife owe it to yourselves to be happy now. If you can rekindle the magic of yester year, then work on it today! Don't let another 8 months go by and be in the same sinking boat. You're still young and should be getting more out of life than working all day to support a cold shoulder at home. Life is too short. You may find that by taking the initiative to leave, you just may open the door to happiness for both of you in the end.
Don't play head games with each other by being where you shouldn't be and playing the jealousy card. Don't seek outside sex when you're still committed here. The marriage is in serious trouble. Your wife knows this already. Tell her to agree to counseling today or you take the initiave and start the divorce precedings.
If you're happy in life it reflects on you, your self-esteem and the choices you make. If you bury a dead relationship, your kids may be hurt in the beginning, but when they see Dad happy again (and possibly Mom, too), they will grow to accept it.
Best of luck to you both.
2006-11-19 06:31:01 · answer #2 · answered by brownjrfive 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that , i feel for you. Me and my wife went through the same thing More than once and let me tell you that there are a lot of options but the one that worked the best for me was. After i asked and she said no, i said id be back in a while got dressed up nice jumped in the car and went to a bar hand a couple of drinks got enough smoke on me to let her know where i was and went home after she was in bed. Made a lot of noise when i got home to to wake her up. If that doesn't get a real conversation going between you two and don't resolve the problem let her know that you are a male and that if she cant fill your needs , with her being the one you want to be with , you will find someone else to have sex with if she wont. All of this will let her know that you are serious about what you want and that you still love her and that the situation now is unacceptable
2006-11-19 01:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by cctucker75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agree with Kelllybell...But you do sound a little pig-ish. You say Vegas sex was plentiful and good? Maybe it's time for a change of routine? Try Kellybells suggestions and if that gets things heated up a bit suggest you meet at a nice motel for a nooner.. Go on a weekend trip, go shopping together for a toy or lingerie. be creative. Most important... Don't demand or force..Getting laid tonight starts with a passionate kiss this morning. Have to say to Bollingg1...I am post menopausal and have no hormone/ secretion /enjoyment problems. In fact, I am having the best sex of my life. May I suggest that your wife/partner speak to her docter. WAIT A MINUTE....dID ANYONE DO THE MATH HERE? Slick is 43, wife 8 years older, married 27 years...HE WAS 16 SHE WAS 24? Whatever, Slick.
2006-11-19 01:50:05 · answer #4 · answered by Tina S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what you are saying is that you have never loved your wife - just enjoyed the sex? Now that it's gone (even if only temporarily) you are done?
You are scum - lower than scum, actually. She doesn't need to give 'it' up, she needs to give you up!!!
If she is going through her 'change' it is a temporary thing. There are a lot of supplements out there that can make a difference for her - I would spend my time researching those, talking to her, maybe even going to counseling rather than come here and whine that you want more sex!!! Her age difference has little to do with it. Younger women go through hormonal changes, too.
2006-11-19 06:34:50 · answer #5 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I haven't had sex in three years. Post Menopause is the problem. Lack of hormones = lack of secretions = painful sex + no lust in her heart = no fun = is this some kind of reward for being a good puppy = who needs it. Guess the rule the men marry women younger than themselves makes sense after all.
2006-11-19 01:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by Bollingg1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, no woman wants to be treated like a thing of pleasure. And telling her to "give it up" is treating her as such. BUT, when sex stops it means something is wrong, either w. the marriage or the person not participating. you need to discuss this in that context to find out what is going on w/ her.
2006-11-19 00:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with the other women. Though chances are that just asking her what is wrong will not solve anything. (Try though) Also think of how you may have treated her when you first got together..... open doors? kiss her for no other reason than you love her. Hug her, be sweet. And whatever you do, as hard as it may be, no gropeing. Let her know you are there and she'll let you know when she is ready.
2006-11-19 03:07:09 · answer #8 · answered by funcheyne2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. After being together for 27 years, the two of you should have great communication skills developed. Encourage her to see her physician, make sure there is not something medical going on. Good luck and God bless****
2006-11-19 00:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TO get her thinking about having sex with you, you have to treat her right at the start of the day just like when you were first married. Talk to her, be interested in her day, try to do things for her, be thoughtful ... but don't make it seem like it is just a ploy to get her to give in...Women like romance ... you can't just ask her to "give it up!" It make take a few days though ....
2006-11-19 00:31:03 · answer #10 · answered by Kellybelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋