Am I a horrible, selfish person?

Question

My mother is utterly deranged. I love her to bits but we have a precarious history - I'm severely manic depressive and an unsuccessful suicide attempt when I was 15 (I'm 17 now) has rendered me really, really unwell. I'm always in the hospital for tests and still she maintains it's "all in my head".

She blamed me for my dad's death (had a heart attack), the death of the family dog last month, and the break-up of her recent boyfriend. The plumbing buggered up earlier and apparently this is my fault too.

I love my mum and can't understand why I am unwittingly causing her so much pain. I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

move away from her

Answer 2

Try not to take her blaming you for things to heart, as hard as that may be. She needs to vent on someone and you are it obviously.You are NOT the cause of her pain and it is very unfair of her not to be there for you emotionally. If you have someone that you are close to try and spend more time around them and away from your mum. Maybe in a year or so you can get out on your own and the relationship might be better for the two of you. Being around her negativity does not help your manic depression. I'm sorry about your situation and wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

As I have suffered states of deep depression I have come to understand that there is nothing in the world to take your own life over. though I understand the thoughts of behind such things or sometimes it isn't thoughts that cause the intent to do so but it is the confusion in the mind and the emotions that one cannot sort through that drive one into a state of depression and then to the only coherent thought is suicide and it seems to be the only thing to finally be free. But its not, we have to look at those we associate ourselves with and the life styles we are subject to and usually it is there that we understand the source of our problems and then are better to understand how to better ourselves.

And know that in no way are you to blame for the things you are made to feel you are. because it is the tool used to maintain a sense of power and control over you. Unless people suffer from a form of depression themselves they will never understand.

I send a prayer for you and never give up there are plenty of people that understand you and know howhard it is at times.

God Bless.

Answer 4

No, you are not a horrible person. I am very sorry for the loss of your Dad! Be calm, and just keep trying to be the best you can be. It is good you can say you still love your mom, after all of this. Perhaps she is going through all of this and she really just does not know how to handle the stress. And this is unfortunately her way of dealing with it, lashing out at you. Personally, I don't think she means these hateful things she says to you, sometimes people say hurtful, nasty things, out of pain or fear. They do not realize how deeply they hurt us. One should always remember a spoken word can not be taken back. I am sorry for you pain, depression is sometimes very difficult to diagnose, and it is a real medical condition. Keep your head up, and pray, I will be praying for you and your mom. Please do not make anymore suicide attempts. Keep in mind that suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary situation. It will get better, keep seeking assistance of doctors, one will eventually find something that can help you to feel better. And you could and should try God! He works miracles. He will give you the strength and courage to deal with whatever you are going through. And forgive your mom and pray for her to, she is probably in a great deal of pain and under a great deal of stress, and she just doesn't know how to deal with it. God bless you****

Answer 5

All the problems in the world is not your fault and you need to express yourself and only lay claim to the problems that you cause and not all of this everyday stuff. Your mother is looking for someone to blame and you are just handy and willing to take the blame on yourself. The next time you go for therapy express your feelings so that you can heal. Try to get yourself together so you can plan a life of your own.

Answer 6

well sweety honestly my mother and i dont get along as well either she either blames me for anything such as small as loosing her keys as much as everything else i grew up in foster homes though and just met my mom when i was 18 and im 21 now she blames me for being taken away when i was 6 years old see i know where you are coming from the best thing i can say is what i think is dont take this wrong but i dont conversate with my mom i dont call her or write her or communicate i feel it is the best thing but for you you might talk to her conversate with her about your feelings and maybe she might talk to you tell her your concerns and the way you feel because maybe she might be upset about herself and she takes it out on you maybe you just need some time alone and talk to her because family is important try talking to her and letting your feelings out before you do anything drastic like i have, okay? have a great day!!

Answer 7

It sounds like you should be away from her so that you can get better. Your not the reason all this bad stuff is happening!! She must feel the need to blame others for things that she has no control over. You should see if you can go stay with someone that will treat you good and that can help you.Your mom also needs some help. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Dont want to be rude or anything, but I think its is your mum that is horrible and selfish. No wonder you tried to kill yourself. Love your mum, but stay away from her as much as possible. Still see her, but not too much. Your 17, time to fly away from the nest, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Sit down and design yourself a life, and go forward with that. Your not causing your mums pain, she is. She's just blamming you. You probably wont be able to change her, so just accept her, dont take her comments to heart, see her as little as possible while she is being negative and most importantly get on with the great life ahead of yourself.

Answer 9

First of all, your mother seems to be in serious need of a psychiatric evaluation. So you need to see to it she gets it. She has absolutely no right to do that kind of mess to you. Secondly, since you're still a minor, I recommend you talk an older relative about you moving in with them. Finally, I want to say you have my deepest sympathies as I, like you, have also grown up in a dysfunctional family environment. I hope my answer helps you. Good Luck.

Answer 10

sometime parents puts their hopes and desires on their children, but sometimes they also put their frustrations and sorrow on their children. i do not think you have done anything wrong but it sounds like maybe your mom doesn't know how to deal with her own pain and heartache. Maybe your mom has an adult friend that you feel comfortable talking with about this. Maybe they can suggest her to get some psychiatric help. Maybe get some depression meds or something?? If it comes from you it sounds like she would not respond so well is why i suggest one of her adult friends you trust

Answer 11

No, you are not a horrible person. It sounds like your Mom has problems with depression too maybe. Unfortunately, we tend to hurt the people we are closest to. It sounds like you are all she's got so she takes things out on you. Try to talk to her and tell her that you are on her side, why can't she be on yours? The 2 of you need to stick together and help each other through these tough times not fight your way through them.