This girl was my secondary school classmate. We used to know each other only barely. But God knows how many times I peeped at her during lesson instead of looking at the board. However, I was a shy boy (though still is) and the fact is that she had boyfriends one after another THROGHT OUT the teen years. and God know how many times I felt sour and my heart sank whenever I saw her with her guy(s).
During the poly years, I had a girlfriend and she was having a relatively more committed relationship. so my heart was with my girl at the time and hence you can only say that I have been a secret admirer "on-and-off" for 10 years.
OFF, is when I have a gf, my heart have no one else. and even when I'm single, I won't fall for a girl who is attached.
ON, is for the times when we were both unattached. it kind of give me hope bcoz she is available. For the past 10 years, I never take any action for these "on" periods.
For the past 2 months, we kind of reconnect our communication. Bcoz i'm studying in uni now and she is working, we have chance to chat for few hours daily on MSN. (mon-fri working hours only though, because she don't usually use msn at home)
From recent chats, she told me that she is now single, and she mentioned that she is not a late-queen for dates nowadays. And after she know that I used to have one painful and hurtful relationship, she said that people have to move on and "if there's a good girl whom you like then give it a try" She also claims that she only regard herself who had only 2 relationships because sec sch histores are just childish ones.
We talked a lot rubbish, shared a lot of views, joked a lot and "suan" each other a lot and I feel (or maybe only I feel)that we start to have some connection.
So, last week, I managed to find some courage and said..
"you wrote on my sec sch autograph book that I can call you anytime, so.. can I call you tonight?"
but she replied "lol.. I have a dinner appointment tonight."
I was rather disappointed. I thought, if she doesn't mind me calling she would have state a time or sth.
But soon after, she said "next time we catch up with a movie, after your exam?", "when your exam finish?", "talk is cheap, fix a date now"....
so, our tentative date (or sec sch class monitor-monitress re-union if putting it mildly) is 3 dec!!just 2 days aft my exam. But the point is that we only chat on MSN and have not advanced into phone-talk and constant sms-es.
I keep thinking of her recently. and thinking.. Should I postpone it? because I just had a bad haircut. what shd I say? how should I behave? will I just blush and panic? is that anything in my walldrode that can match her smile and style? shd I pay for everything? where shd we eat? It's not like I don't have experience. Although I had gf before. But this time is different. She is a special person to me. (else I won't admire her for a decade
So now i'm like completely anxious and excited at the same time.
She is a very pretty girl to me. I looked at her that way for the past 10 years. so it's not like i'm saying this because she is grown up now and having her own fashion taste.
But I have a low esteem of myself. because I don't think I have the look. and that i'm just a poor student who owes the bank loan of $18k.
The tough point here for me is: Are there another guys who express interest in her? DOES she already has someone in mind? when should I tell her my feelings? the feelings that have been kept inside me for 10 years? Should I buy her a present (and say it's christmas present) for that day? Should I just write a love letter and confess everything? (probably not because she might freak out) What should we do after movie? OR.. after all, she might actually just take it at friendship level and that I am thinking way too much?
I feel that, sooner or later, I have to confess my feelings for her and give it a try. else i'll only keep thinking of her and suffocate myself.
What shd I do?
1) Taking it easy and naturally? (I think she will be taken by another guy if taking it slowly. because she is just such a nice girl)
2) Show my feelings soon? (what if she got stunned and don't talk to me even on msn)
I'm so paranoid!! How I wish that behind every girl there is a equation and by solving it, you understand her thoughts and have her loving you! (haha.. i'm engineering student)
Can people out there advice me? Especially girls. I would be glad to hear your opinons. Thanks a lot if you manage to read finish this essay.
2006-11-18 22:00:33 · 9 answers · asked by sp_jimmy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HMM!!! You do have a dilema.
Well the time has definately come to let your feelings be known.
I think at this stage (if you are going to the reunion together) that afterward might be the time to have a chat.
I'd start by saying you dont want to ruin the friendship/chatting on msn relationship but you think you would like to take her out on a date and see how it goes. Maybe dinner or something.
DO NOT go into detail about being in love with her for the last 10 years. Plenty of time for that later if things work out.
If she says that she would prefer to be just friends rather than dating then at least you know where you stand.
If she agrees to the date then I suggest taking things slowly after that rather than overwhelming her with undying love etc.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
2006-11-18 22:15:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i know that feeling i had crush on girl for 16 yrs and it h/rt alot when she had other gf but u going through same thing i did she hurt me i did so much for her and only time she wanted to spend time with her when convientent 4 her so my advice is try to move on or your heart will continue to ache obvisously she dont t/hink about how much this hurts u so she must not truly care 4 u so try 2 move on ok hun itll get better after time
2006-11-18 22:11:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
jeebus.
Ask her out or move on.
Good lord man.. 10 years is definately enough time to grow a sac and ask her out. Its like four words:
"You, me, date, now"
or even two words:
"nice shoes"
just dont tell her that you've been obsessing over her off and on for 10 years, man thats creepy.
Probably too late now, you are officially just a friend from the sounds of it.
2006-11-18 22:07:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not a lunatic person to read your meaningless love data.
Ya its meaningless to wait for ten years that too secretly.
Come back to the world and lead a normal life --- the whole world is waiting for you.
2006-11-18 22:03:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you think too much ! go for movie and send her home. give her a big hug when she reach home and nothing else, if she is interested, she will invite you to her apartment!
Good luck !
2006-11-18 22:17:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just have her read this question, I think it says it all.
2006-11-18 22:05:40 · answer #6 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah now thats a good idea..give her this link when you chat..she would understand everything...or give it through your friend...its best idea really.
2006-11-18 22:12:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
For the love of all that is good and sane, move on already!!!
2006-11-18 22:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just marry her, Please.
2006-11-18 22:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by Toto 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋