anyone else having the weekend from hell with their kids?

Question

I look forward to the weekend and doing fun things with them,then it all goes wrong. they are good boys but this weekend i want to go to my room and shut the door and stay away from them..ive had major sulks and tantrums from my 8 year old all weekend and he has broken the chain on the door and an ornament, he is also being cheeky at school and pushing all boundaries at the moment. we have had a big move 2 months ago and i know its probably a reaction to this but i seem to get nowhere with him.. i do all the star charts and time out, discussions etc anyone got any other tips?

if you check the times i was on my pc late last night after the kids went to bed!!
also yesterday we went to the beach kite flying, on friday night we had movie night, yesterday their friends came round and played for about two hours.
they have changed school, i have spoken to his teacher and am supporting the school. he is a particuarly stubborn and sometimes moody child. he has a very poor relationship with his dad but is usually ok with me until last week or so

Answer 1

yep! on average once a week

Answer 2

Have ups and downs with mine all the time. Have you sat him down and had a chat - non confrontational just a general chat that might have a few searching questions? We do this often when we are doing something - like the washing up or clearing the table. Sound like he's got something on his mind and isn't sure how to tell you. We don't use star charts we are bit more basic. So for example we tell them we love them and we are consistent with rules, and yes some days I want to scream and other days we think what lovely children. Did he change schools too or teachers? cos that can have an affect? Plus when both mine turned 8 they started to question authority and were relieved when we re-established boundaries - they both tried it on. It may be a development stage. Good luck.

Answer 3

Sounds like a normal kid, get them down to a local park for a good run about to burn the energey off them and why not go local dvd rental and get a film for all family to watch and sit in with some nibbles.
I find when my daughter is more sulky she is actually just bored so finding something for her to do helps .
You say you are looking for fun things to do with them?
what had you planned this week? maybe have a big thing every month rather than weekend say next month a panto so they can be all looking forward to it and if they behave they get to go.
Santa is a greay bribe this time of year with any bad behavoiur means a toy gets taken of the list lol works great for me getting my daughter to be good.
School is hard as you aren't there its the teachers minding him all you can really do is say in the morning be good at school and its up to them if they r going to listen as you have just moved have they made friends yet that is what helps in a new area they need their own friends instead of being just together all the time see if there are any friends in school that can call over some days .

Its hard to tell you as only you know your kids and what will work and not work.

Answer 4

Head for the park & get some fresh air & space. Moving house is stressful for everyone & a good run around & some fun will work wonders. Children do test boundaries - it's how they learn as you know but what is important is that those boundaries are reasonable & firm. If they bend under their pressure, they'll push even harder. I presume there has been no change of school? Perhaps have a chat with the teacher & voice your concern. Best wishes - it will get better.

Answer 5

Try modifying the star charts then if they don't seem to be working. Do a rethink on the rewards given for good behaviour / punishment for naughty behaviour. My kids are 9 and (nearly) 5 and whenever something new happens they both push their luck with it. Take them to a park to run off some energy then sit down with them and the star charts and see if you can figure out together whats going wrong. Its not easy but be consistant and it will get better. We all have good and bad days. Shouting occasionally works for me - its gives them a shock but definitely don't resort to this all the time as it loses its effect very quickly.

good luck xx

Answer 6

You answered about 30 questions on Yahoo yesterday and asked a few as well. why not leave the computer alone and have some real quality time with the kids - they are attention seeking.. they have lost their mum to a computer.

Hi slsvenus, I took your advice and checked on the times of your question and you are right, most of the answers you made were in the evening.. and I'm not trying to pick an argument with you but you did start on the answers at about 3pm.. just after you got back from the beach most probably.. were the kids playing up during the movie evening and the trip to the beach? I guess not.. please trust me slsvenus I'm not trying to pick on you although I have to admit it does sound like it and I can understand you getting sharp with me.. but you were asking for help and I have just told you what I think is the cause. please just try leaving the computer for during the week when the boys are at school and go back to looking forward to having fun weekends with the kids

Answer 7

I would recommend a good spanking, but if thats not your usual routine I wouldn't introduce it this late, it would have adverse reactions. You're going to do something sever though, something that will get their attention while at the same time showing them why its happening and what they can do to fix it and keep it fixed. Nanny shows on TV are not what you need to be going by either, they are produced by people trying to get ratings so they can sell advertisement space. They aren't trying to help you raise your child, they're trying to make money. Any kid will be good for a stranger who is nice to them. But when they're gone, whoo boy thats a different story. I would really have to know you and your children to give you good advice, and so would these other yahoos. Noone on here is really going to be able to help, friend. You will have to start thinking outside the box you've built.

Answer 8

My 6 year old was having behavioral issues at school. I told him he couldn't play his xbox until I saw a turnaround with his behavior. Well that worked, but all kids are different. It certainly sounds like he is reacting to the fact that his dad is an inactive part of his life and a change in schools. This is what I do since my children's dad left me a year ago, but is still in their life, I hug them daily and am always telling them I love them! It works. Tell them you love them 3-4 times a day and hug them at least once! It is amazing what a little love can do!!!!! Kind words kill a hard burdened heart!

Answer 9

If he's going to keep being a brat, teach him he shouldn't by taking something he values away from him for a while. Video games, television, ipod, whatever it is. Remove it from his surroundings. If a tantrum follows, take something else. Continue until point has been made. He can have them back when he apologizes or comes to the realization that sulking and throwing tantrums gets you nothing you want.

Answer 10

I honestly know exactly how you feel! I have two boys age 8 & 5,they are on the whole good kids but they definately go through phases!

I find its easy to get into a rut when they are playing up of telling them off (& pulling your hair out when it doesn't seem to get you anywhere!).So to try & turn their behaviour round i have to try & change my tack - by taking a deep breath & drawing on my last reserves of patience & (regardless of how little you might think they deserve it!) giving them lots of attention & praise.

I KNOW sometimes finding things to praise them about can be easier said than done so i try to create situations where i can ie,playing games with them.

I think it works because kids get 'immune' to being told off sometimes,but when you are giving them happy,good attention they actually have something to lose by being told off.

Anyway,all this is easier said than done,(i should know!)so at least take heart in the fact that you are definately not alone & good luck!

:-)

Answer 11

Pick your battles. Ask youself if the door and the ornament are going to matter in another 15 years down the road, will they matter when he is no longer living in your home, maybe having a family of his own...how do you want him to remember his childhood, his homelife? Do you want him to look back and smile and maybe shake his head about the time he broke the chain on the door and the ornament and maybe call you to apologize or do you want him to resent the way he was treated AFTER he did those things, do you want him to have not called since the day he stormed out the door? As far as star charts...I think by 8 year's old he's a bit old for those things...He could very well be heading into puberty...again...will it really matter later on down the road?