I wish my mother is dead, am i evil?

Question

My mother is such a hateful person, she throws tantrums, break things, say hurtful things, totally unrespectful of other's space and feeling. I have no love for her whatsoever.

She has a terminal illness and I thought that would have woken her up but NO! Everyday I wish that she will die already so I will have some peace. So so many times I want to just leave her to die alone but I cant do that. But God! I pray shes dead! I wish and pray to the deepest recesses of my bones that she's dead.

Answer 1

I know how you feel, dear. The irony is that you wish her dead now but will still miss her when she's gone.

You're not evil for thinking that, but all this hate can't be doing you much good. Your mum actually sounds either dreadfully self-absorbed or suffers a personality disorder, or both. In my opinion, it's best to just take her for a circus side-show. When she hurls abuse, take it as part of her act - nothing to be taken too seriously or to be reacted to too much.

Answer 2

She is being a right cow and you wish she were dead. Well if my mother was carrying on like that I'd probably be pretty pi$$ed with her too. But your mother is really sick and she is dying and I can guarantee when she dies, you are going to cry like a baby. Why? Because she is your mother. And we only get one mum. And no matter how much you hate her, no matter how many tantrums she throws or how many times she says hurtful thing, she is still you mother.So while she's here still, try to get along with her (as hard as it may be, I do not understand what you are going through, but I am trying to, OK?) and remember the good times, I'm assuming there is some! She is dying and maybe she is scared as most of us would be. Maybe someone can help you look after her? I do not know what the answer is, really, but I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 3

Your mother cannot prevent you from going to college, getting a job, or moving out of her house. Look into legal "emancipation" (it differs by state), and whether your Social Security survivor benefits can be deposited directly into your account. If so, you may be able to afford a small apartment, even if it's only one room. You mentioned an "inheritance" your father left you, as well. Whether/when you can get control over that depends upon what's in his Will. If he directed that the money be available to you only after you attain a certain age, you'll probably have to wait until then to get access to it. If your mother's allowed to use some of it for your support, make sure she's operating within the law. You might have to pay an attorney to look at his Will for you, and advise you how to proceed. Law schools may offer low cost services. It's not uncommon to wish someone dead when we're angry, but I think it's like a valve on a pressure cooker. It allows us to vent some steam without exploding. Understand that your mother has faults, just as we all do. She's probably doing the best she can, even if it's not what's best for you, or even her. Becoming a parent doesn't magically make a person wise or mature. You may find that you and your mother get along better after you've moved out on your own. If not, you'll at least be able to limit contact. In the meantime, do whatever you can to prepare yourself to live on your own, and go to college. Good luck.

Answer 4

What you are feeling may not be pretty, but it is human. Try to accept that fact & when those feeling peak, shove them back as best you can. You're tolerance will pay off because when she does die you'll remember some good times & your love will resurface. Also try enduring one of her tantrums and asking "Do you feel better now or are you through trying to make everyone hate you?" She might open up so you can find out why she's being so self destructive. Good luck.

Answer 5

I'm afraid you may feel differently once she's gone. Even though she's been cruel, she's still the only Mother you'll ever have and it leaves a huge void in your life when you lose a parent. Make your peace with her before she dies...you will feel better about it in the long run. Could her illness or the medication be making her act worse? It's something to think about. I wish you luck and peace.

Answer 6

Have you ever though for one min in your life about someone else then you? You mother is most likly ill and don't know that she is. You could get some book or stuff on line that you could look in to. that might help your mom but it might take time away from you so busy life of hating your mother and wishing she was dead. Sometime the child has to help the mom or dad because they can not do it them self. So before you start killing. Stop and try to help first. and what you would look under is mental illness or depression. Or you can call some doctors and tell them what going on and they can help. But also be careful what you say to because if you make it sound to bad they could take you away and you could never see her again and she will never get the help she needs So please make sure You know what you're doing

Answer 7

Be careful what you wish for. Im sure that a lot of the reasons your mom is like she is is because she is dealing with a terminal illness. You should be spending what time the 2 of you have together making beautiful memories. God what i would give to just be able to tell my mother i love her just one more time (my mother has been dead 28 years). I am so thankful in my heart that my last words to her were "i love you, mom". Lastly, but not least, remember what the Bible says........HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER

Answer 8

Your not evil. Your scared and hurt by the treatment from your mother. The feelings you are experiencing is a normal feeling. But step back a second and realize that your mother is very scared. She is probably in much pain. mentally and physically. Try to find some one with whom you can confide in. The hate you feel will pass soon enough. Forgive her. In time you will understand. Good luck to you. Life will get better.

Answer 9

I'm very sorry for you and for her. In her last days as her pain increases, she may get even worse. Try very hard to grit your teeth and if can find just a wee bit of the extra something that it would take to show her some compassion, it might help her get through the tough time she's going through. After she dies, you would regret not having tried. Believe it or not, you might even feel guilt, if you don't try to help to ease her anguish. Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 10

If possible, you should just move away and find your own way. You did not say your age here. She is in mature it seems and seeks attention. I do sympathize with you, but you should not pray to end another's life. Some people are just evil and don't even see that they are, manipulators and users.