I have been getting to know this guy a lot recently...and he's really nice, very good looking, and we've been talking a lot lately & even been thinking about going out. The thing is...he's had a terrible past with drugs/sex/alcohol...and I don't really judge him for it, but he occasionally does some drugs and smokes.
Im a little nervous about getting in over my head.
What would you do in my situation?
2006-11-18 18:10:56 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he wants to change and he's not violent, and he doesn't steal to get a fix.
He only does addernal (sp?) and about a week ago he told me he had done some coke that night.
2006-11-18 18:40:43 · update #1
Me, i would never date someone like this...He needs to fix himself before he dates anyone....
2006-11-18 18:18:46 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I've been in your situation and it didn't turn out good. If he really likes you he should be able to quit the drugs to be with you. If it's pot you have nothing to worry about because its natural and has no bad side effects. if it's anything hard core then you have to worry about him being an angry, and possibly even a violent person who is always looking for his next fix(he could push his limits on how to get it like stealing from you or other loved ones because when an addiction is involved it can overwhelm even the strongest of loves). Trust me it sometimes happens. Just know all the facts of what your getting yourself into. Good luck and be safe.
2006-11-19 02:36:38 · answer #2 · answered by Mary Jane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetie...unless you're a very "strong" person and can resist picking up his dangerous habits, then you really shouldn't go for it. It usually goes this way...Scenero #1 He really likes you and respects you then he will give it up for you, but if not...
Scenero #2 no changing on his part, but it ends up dragging you down and all of a sudden, you get involved in those dangerous habits, because you are around it.
The reason I said "strong" person is because it's hard to be in a relationship with that kind of personal and mental turmoil. You're whole relationship together is an up and down rollercoaster. If you're willing to put yourself through that and NOT be influenced, then fine, that's you, but if not...then get out. You'll just spend most of the relationship being suspicious of him , let down, and hurt. I wish you the best sweetie. Trust me I know, I've been there. It is hard. Unfortunately though, I was scenero #2 I just hope that you are a stronger person then I was.
2006-11-19 02:25:25 · answer #3 · answered by mommymommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn around and RUN!
Drugs take over a person. If you are considering dating a former drug addict, they need a good FIVE to TEN years of sobriety under their belt.
The first casualty in addicts is the truth. If he tells you he is doing some, it's really a lot. Let some other needy woman gamble the life of her and her future kids on him. Find a man that can handle life without drugs as a crutch.
2006-11-19 02:16:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that you don't want him to be into that stuff if you two end up together. Because it is important to you and you want a good relationship with him. Mention that it is also bad for his health and you want to be with someone who won't just "die on you" (if you want a potential long-term relationship).
Letting him know this now will determine whether or not you waste your time on him.
The past is the past. People change. Trust me.
My boyfriend and I were friends for a long time before we started going out. I talked to him about how I felt with some of the things he did. He loves me and he respected the things I told him.... things that were bad habits and things that were bad for his health. Just communicate with him. It really helps.
2006-11-19 02:16:20 · answer #5 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too would be very nervous about getting in over my head, especially because he is still doing drugs. It's great that he nice and good looking, but you have to look at yourself and ask yourself what your values are and what are your boundaries. If I were in your situation, I would not go out with him, but talking with him seems to be OK.
2006-11-19 02:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can Never Fully Recover from a Drug Dependency!
Now may seem fine ,but what happens when there's a re-lapse?
Let's Hope you are not stuck in the middle when this happens!
2006-11-19 02:14:06 · answer #7 · answered by J. Charles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate this political correctness crap. You NEED to look at his past and even jug him for it. That should be step one, when figuring out something about a person. If his past don't give it away the present should. And if hes presently doing drugs, drop his low life ***.
2006-11-19 02:15:50 · answer #8 · answered by luffa202 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't date him if I were you
2006-11-19 02:14:33 · answer #9 · answered by pointelove07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make him understand that it is injurious to his health.
2006-11-19 02:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by Lubiafi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋