Ok, here's the deal. My husband and I have been married for about 4 months now, and I am 5 months pregnant. The thing is...We live with his parents. Anyway, his mom kind of has a nack of stirring up trouble. Even on our wedding day (after we left for our honeymoon) his mom pretty much started a fight with my mom, which my mom just kind of sat back in shock while she ranted off. His mother happened to have been drunk then as well, and after that, we went back to his house, and about two months later, she confronted me about something and pretty much wanted to start an argument with me, and accused my husband of being drunk, which he wasn't. SHE WAS THOUGH! (by the way, my husband has had a history with alcohol abuse, which he has been seeking help. It runs through his family). something else happened (which she again started) and I just thought that I shouldn't have to keep putting up with this, so I left, until we get a place of our own. am I out of line here?, my husband thinks so
2006-11-18 17:35:33 · 13 answers · asked by mommymommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Not at all, you should not have to deal with that crap especially being pregnant. There is one problem with the whole situation though...WHY THE HELL DID YOUR HUSBAND NOT GO WITH YOU? Tell him to grow some balls, be a man and stick up for you to his mother! He is suppose to be on your team now, you are his wife and you are having his child, he needs to be with you especially right now, you are pregnant and you will be emotional, he really needs to be by your side.
2006-11-18 18:17:26 · answer #1 · answered by Isabella's Mommy Expecting #2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should join AlAnon...the AA for the spouses of alcoholics.
I am the child of two recovering alcoholics (over 30 yrs)and my brother is a practicing alcoholic and me and my husband had to file for bankruptcy a year after we got married (over 10 yrs ago)due to job loss so, I know what Im talking about.
You married your husband for better or worse. Unfortunately you started off with the worse. You need to show your husband you are by his side to support him, even if what he does is wrong, you need to be his helper and his support trying to get through this rough time. If you walk away, he feels abandoned, depressed and therefore drinks more to hide from the facts. If you two team up and be each others "cheering section" you will be amazed at what you can endure and get through!
Eventually, the baby will re-focus the family, you will move away from the in-laws and this should all tone down.
Good luck...our prayers are with you!
2006-11-18 17:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be nice. Let her, to some degree. Give her a task to help with so she feels useful, something you really don't care about anyway or is tedious. Don't burn any bridges so early in your new life by being overtly mean to her, intolerant of any suggestions, or rude, because this IS your future mother-in-law, and she's going to be a part of your family now. Down the road life will be so much easier if you can just handle this part tactfully now. Good luck!
2016-05-22 02:32:06 · answer #3 · answered by Nedra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I had to move in with her mother for 6 weeks while we waited for our apartment to be ready and it was soooo hard. Her Mom doesn't like me and I don't know why, but she was pretty obvious about it. We did our best to just keep the peace and to remember that it was only for a short time then we'd be out of there.It's hard to ignore, but it's the best thing to do. Don't let her cause problems between you and your husband. The 2 of you have to stick together and get through this the best you can for now. My wife and I used to go to a hotel once a week just to get away from her Mom and to have some alone time. I think it saved us. Try it...it will be good for the 2 of you to spend some time away.
2006-11-18 23:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, youre; not and if your husband loves you and cares about the child you are holding, which by the way is his also, he should understand that you can't be in an environment like that and he should talk to his mother about getting some help herself. It sounds like she has a very big problem with drinking.
2006-11-18 17:40:03 · answer #5 · answered by bReE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two need a place of your own- even if it is some little mobile home- and there are hud apartments- check it out fast- you need to be w your husband-and both of you away from people getting drunk and stupid- you don't want your baby around that-D
2006-11-18 17:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to realize that once he married you - YOU COME FIRST OVER HIS PARENTS. You need to move out away from that alcoholic environment - it is bad for him, you, the pregnancy.
You are not out of line, but remember, let your husband know, that whether he agrees with you or not - you are his first priority and he needs to step up and defend you and protect you. That is his job!
2006-11-18 18:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you decide, try to relax. This is your child's grand parent, they are bossy! My in-laws still try to interfere and I am 30. Living with your in-laws will magnify any 'small' problem as well. (That is always a tense scenario.) Just try to focus on the good stuff, high blood pressure is no good! Good luck!
2006-11-18 17:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. If she was starting up trouble again and again, to the point that you had to get away than you are not out of line in the least.
2006-11-18 17:40:52 · answer #9 · answered by jazzy_jazz16 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no...its her that's the problem. you wanted to avoid conflict, that's why you left. she should've been the one to leave. your husband should understand how you feel. maybe he has a soft spot for his mother so he doesn't see it that way. or maybe he's used to her being that way. bottom line, she should not treat you this way. you deserve respect. stay away from her when she's drunk.
2006-11-18 17:45:15 · answer #10 · answered by truth hurts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋