I live w/ my husband almost 14 yrs and a few months ago i saw my first love what can I do?

Question

My heart steel feels something for him and I just can't stop thinking of him. We call eachother by phone and sometimes I want to tell him how much I love him and that in my heart will always be a space for him. I always dreamed to see him again and tell him all of my feeelings.What can I do?

Answer 1

Your feelings are 100% normal!

First off, none of this has anything to do with your husband. Your thoughts and feelings have nothing to do with how much you love and care for your husband. Nothing that you said above suggests that you want to leave your husband for this guy, plan on cheating or anything like that.

You just want to share your thoughts and feelings with him that you have carried with you for a long, long time, right? You just want him to know how much he means to you; how important he has been to your life; and that you will always have a special place in your heart for him. There's no harm in that.

Trust me, no one understands how you feel anymore than I do. It's been almost 15 years since my first true love and I parted ways, not by our choice I might add, and, like you, I think about her a great deal. I have always longed for the opportunity to tell her how much she has, and always will, mean to me; tell her that I will always have a special place in my heart for her; you know, tell her what an impact she has had on my life.

As luck would have it, I saw my first true love, for the first time in 10 years, about 6 weeks ago. I'll spare you the story. However, I will tell you this, as we were parting, whenever I hugged her, I mustered up enough courage to tell her that she will probably never know how much she means to me, and she said, "no, I know." Heck, she was so shy that she had her friend come over to me to inform me that she was there and to ask me if I wanted to talk to her! We are 30 years old! Furthermore, I first walked up to her and we hugged, we just held hands and looked each other in the eyes for what seemed like forever, although it was only about 30 seconds.

I apologize for babbling on and on. Moral to the story: tell your first love how you feel.

Holla!

Answer 2

I feel you should leave the past just that,you have been married for a while and when you make that lifelong commitment to someone-- 1 thing its saying is whether you run in to your first boyfriend or your fifth your over all your exes and and thats why you moved on,if you even had a little doubt about this you should have never got married,if your husband first girlfriend came back into his life would you want him to have feelings,no its hurts because thats supposed to be your past.If you love someone else tell your husband i dont believe in cheaters or loving 2 people at the same time especially when your married so be honest with your husband too,i would seek counseling you have been with this man for 14 years and you wanna mess it up for an old fling are you serious?

Answer 3

Although I am a lot younger and not yet married to my boyfriend, I had a similar situation about five months ago. I had all the same feelings, and I waited 14 days, which I learned a couple years back in a Human Sexuality class, is the amount of time before the feelings of lust fade away. I didn't act on any thoughts I had or my feelings because I truly love the person I am with and would not want to change that. I would suggest, just sitting tight and not acting on the emotions you have been feeling for your first love.

Answer 4

I think that's normal to still have feelings for your first love, but you need to figure out who your real love is?
My first love will always have a special place in my heart and I felt the very same way you do. I refused to let myself claim those feelings. I wanted that feeling I had with him, the butterflies and the weak knees, but for me, I had to realize it was more of the first love effect than what we had together realistically. Did you have an adult relationship with him or was it high school fantasy? You have to be the one to differentiate the two, we can't do it for you.
Believe me, I do know how you feel and would not want to be in your shoes right now. I hope you find peace with this and all works out for the right reasons.
Best Wishes~

Answer 5

Break up your marriage for the highschool sweetheart? You shouldn`t even be talking to him. You really need to be thinking about what you are doing. Your husband would be so hurt if he found out. How do you know he doesn`t look at your cell phone bill? Do you have children? How do you think they will feel if they find out about what you are doing or you get a divorce? You have a lot a stake here, and you just remember, what goes around comes around.

Answer 6

you either need to leave your husband and live with a guy that for some reason didn't work many years ago... or sit back and look at the life you have with your husband and think i have it all now.. a man that loves me, a safe place to live, kids (if you have any) and just an over all great life.. you would always have feelings for people in your past but they are in your past for a reason. i think you need to walk away from your first love and count your blessings!

Answer 7

What do you think we are going to say? Come on! We're not going to give you permission to cheat on your husband!!!!

This "first love" is a fantasy. You don't know what he is really really like. But you DO know your husband. Imagine you give up your husband for this other guy and it doesn't work out!!!! How stupid will you feel then???? You spent how many years looking for the guy you married. You picked HIM. How many guys did you break up with before you met him? And how many of them seemed so perfect at first? All of them??? So what are the ODDS that this "first love" is actually going to work out? Pfft. Very very slim.

Honor your commitment to your husband. I know it's tough, but you are putting your marriage at risk. And it is soooo very wrong. You have to remove yourself from temptation. Cut off all contact from this other person.

If you give into this selfish desire, you are truly evil.

Answer 8

I know it always seem like grass are greener on the other side but trust me it doesn't.. In the end you will simply trade a diamond for a rock..Remember that your first love is your ex for a reason... There are times that we imagine things .... Try to communicate with your husband more or try to spark things ten times more than usual because obviouslly it is not hotter or else your mind wander to someone else beside him.,.

Answer 9

When will you be appearing on Jerry Springer? God, you got into it, you get out of it. Are you that weak? Go back to school and learn English--it shows that you should have paid more attention in school. No pity for you---you know what to do just DO it. Treats you like crap but you still stay---why? No money? Boo-Hoo, get a job and make some. How do people get into these situations?

Answer 10

First of all think about why you want to tell him these things. One of two results will occur. A) You will follow those feelings out of selfish desires, B) you share your feelings for his benefit.

You could lose your marriage over this, its important to check. Remember the dog with the bone? He looked into the lake and saw another dog with a bone. He wanted to snatch the bone from the other dog, opened his jaws, and both bones were gone....?

GOOD LUCK

Answer 11

"What can I do?"

What do you mean what can you do? You do what you set yourself out to do. That is you became married to your husband, exchanged committment and to stay truthful/honest and loyal.

You turn your back on your husband; Don't expect people to feel sorry when a guy can turn around and do the same thing back to you.

Your first love is first love and in the past. You moved on and needs to stay that way.

Stop putting yourself in temptation that will lead to adultry.