How strict should parents really be?

Question

my mom is so strict. she has all these rules that limit all of my freedom to do anything like go to a sleepover or even watch tv!.. what can i do or say to get her to trust me a little more to be responsible?

Answer 1

You do what is asked of you to show that you are responsible and can be trusted. then push for a slacking of the leash

Answer 2

Apparently you have some freedom or you wouldn't have any time to write about this on the computer.

No one really has an answer on how strict parents should be. There are parents that are strict that raise kids that grow up to be criminals, some that are obedient, some that just have discipline.

There are also parents that give their kids total autonomy and still have well-adjusted kids, but that isn't always the case either.

The rules that you have to bear are probably related to the way you dress, your age, and your history with your mom. She wants to keep you safe and be a good girl. She was probably less strict a couple of years ago.

Time and a pattern of good judgment are the only things that are going to change your mom's mind.

When you turn 18 and move out of the house, you can have all of the freedom you want and all of the responsibility that comes with it. When you become a parent, all of this will become clear to you. Just hang in there and be good. Things will turn around for you.

Answer 3

Is she has the rules, it'll be helpful for you in the long run. She will trust you if your actions are trust worthy. Do you obey her? Do you argue for any small reason? Do you force her to buy something for you? Then change your habit and make her life easy by supporting her.

Also, if she doesn't allow you, then just say OK and do what she likes. After few times, I think she would trust you and let you watch TV. If you are a teenager, no responsible mom will let her daughter to sleepover. May be you are too young to understand and I was complaining when I was a teen ager, but now after years of experience, I'm realizing, whatever my mom told me was right and also only benefit me in the long run.

Answer 4

Perhaps its time to sit down, have a talk with her from an adult to an adult and tell her how you feel. If you can prove to her that you are mature enough to make wise decisions and do not need from her at all times, chances are that you will gain more freedom.

Don't feel bad, Im 22, I live at home and even at this age there are rules that I choose to follow. My parents trust me because they know that I am not the type of person that will go off and do something dumb.

By dumb I mean, come back with a child and no husband.
Have the police give them a call and tell them I did something wrong.
Be out with the wrong people.
Go out to the wrong places.

See I just wouldn't do that.

If you are on the same boat, tell your mom but remember to do so respectfully.

Answer 5

I know you don't want to hear this, but I think Mom is right. You see, I am 38 with 2 brothers (in their 30s). My mom was just as strict -- we had rules about everything, like who we could play with, where we could play, the amount of noise we made, how late we could receive phone calls, what kind of music we could listen to. And get this -- I had to let her know where I was going as a teenager and she would call to check up on me! It's pretty embarassing when they say at the movie theatre that my mom already called, I'm 5 minutes late for the movie and they told her I wasn't there ...

However, that said, here's the rest of the story. My brothers and I all finished college. We were each at the top of our classes. (I am getting my doctorate.) My brothers and I are all gainfully employed. We each bought a house by age 27. We all have money in the bank. We never tried drugs. We never developed any alcohol problems. We have never divorced. No out of wedlock children. We have never been arrested. We've done nothing to be invited to the Jerry Springer show. We all meet for all family holidays, even with my brothers living 10+ hours away. We have very close relationships these days. Basically, we have it all.

Any mother would love to have these children, right? Your mom is aiming for you to stay straight, to grow up well and be strong. She is not trying to deprive you of normal teenage occurences; instead, she is trying to save you the heartache and misery which comes from making bad choices. And I would have to say she is right to be doing so. If you want to be successful later on in life, able to enjoy it (and be able to afford enjoying it), this is the route ....

Answer 6

Parents should be strict enough to show they care... but give enough freedom for growth and creativity. With that being said it really depends on the child. Each child has a different personality and different level of maturity.

If you want more trust you are going to have to earn it with showing your mom you deserve it.

If you have another family member you look up to and can confide it, let them know how you are feeling and maybe they can get your mom to ease up.

Answer 7

Nowadays, its hard to find strict parents. You should be proud of them because they really care about you, and don't want you to turn out like your peers. There is nothing much you can do about that. They love you, and would never want to get you involved in something that can deter you from your future plans. Peer pressure is so easy now a days, thanks to hip-hop and general social obligations that kids coming up now think they have. Be glad that you don't have parents that sit around, drink until their unconscious, and just embarrassing to bring around people. Plus, your not missing anything by not going to a sleepover. When u get my age (23), you gonna want to be left alone most the time! LOL

Answer 8

She is the parent, she sets the rules. She has rules because SHE is responsible for you and since you're here whining about how "strict" she is you've made it obvious that you are far from responsible enough for her to give you any freedom.

Answer 9

Good for mom. She is trying to protect you from the dangers all around us. Some mothers don't care what happens to their children. Someday you will be thankful you had a strict mom and you will be the same with your own kids.

Answer 10

Your mom obviously loves you and wants to protect you. Be thankful for that as many moms don't even want their kids.

I don't think it is that she doesn't trust you, she doesn't trust the world to not harm the most precious thing in her world--her child or children.

You will grow up eventually and you can do whatever you want, but for now follow her rules. You are really lucky to have a mom who cares so much about you.

Answer 11

I know just how you feel. I too am limited in things like rated R movies. I am 16 and I still can't watch R movies. I know it sucks but I have learned that my parents and yours are just trying to protect you from what they think is bad. Yeah I wish that I had more freedom but put yourself in their shoes. Try to imagine if you had kids. Anyways what I do is try sucking up to them. Tell your mom exactly what you guys are going to do and maybe tell her that you will call her every so often to check in so your mom will feel better about letting you do things with your friends. It's hard... its just one of those things that you will thank your parents for later on in your life.
Good Luck!