My cousin had 2 kids out of wedlock and shes rasing them on her own becuase her ex won't claim the children. She has a very well paying job, she's a Psychirist. And hse very attractive(she was in a couple beauty pagents when she was in her teens) and still in her late 20s. But she told me that so many men won't go out with her becuase she has two kids and she has very low self-esteem and considers herself used goods. Why is this? This is another reason why i don't want to have kids, because kids are some type of turn-off when attracting men and you're considered "used goods"
2006-11-18 16:33:57 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are several reason why some guys will not date women with children. First, some people may not be ready to settle down, especially with a ready made family. Secondly, a lot of guys do not like the idea of having to raise another man's children. Also, some men are very selfish and do not like the idea of having to share attention with children. Perhaps the biggest reason is that men are afraid of extra drama concerning the baby's father. There are some men out there that do not mind dating women with children though. Your cousin just needs to stop trying so hard.
2006-11-18 16:40:24 · answer #1 · answered by Chad A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience this is what I have learned. It is alot to take on when dating a woman with kids...(I have 3)...not only is this guy starting a relationship with you but the kids too!! If the relationship doesn't work out then he is attatched to the kids and it is hard on the kids as well when it ends. So in other words...I have been told it isn't worth the heartache for all parties.
2006-11-19 00:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by AzMom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is a psychirist? Never heard of that, so I can't imagine it paying well enough to allow a father to not support his children. So I would take it to mean that she CHOSE not to file for child support from him...that's not HIS fault. As for the men who won't date her because she has two kids I can't blame them, as a psychirist (yeah right) she should be well aware that she comes with "baggage" and that most men prefer women with out it. IF she truly is a PSYCHIATRIST(it takes so little effort to use spell checker) she wouldn't be wondering and feeling sorry for herself, she would be well aware of why and be able to think of what to do about it.
2006-11-19 00:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok...first off she had kids and wasn't married...this tells a guy she's easy. Even if she's not, it gives the implication that she is. And even though she has a well paying career, guys see a woman with kids and think, "She just wants a daddy for them kids." I have guys amazed that I don't have any kids and I'm pushing 40. But trust me, it's not any easier for those of us who don't have kids. Guys think we just want to find someone to father a child at my age, and there couldn't be anything further from the truth.
2006-11-19 00:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men don't want to have a ready-made family, right or wrong. Still, there are many men out there that don't care about that. She needs to pick her self-esteem up because what's done is done. Keep looking, her prince is out there.
2006-11-19 02:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Radio Diva 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
most men find relationships stressfull enough, now add 2 kids to the mix and you have a big mess. And a lot of men want children of their own....also, as harsh as this may sound, some men dont want to deal with someone elses kids. My suggestion to her is to perhaps start dating a man who has kids of his own as well.
2006-11-19 00:41:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
some men just dont know how to handle kids and most likely they see that as a turn off because they wont have time with her as much. a lot of drama can be put on him, him thinking she might be with the dad still and they arent looking to play daddy right now.
2006-11-19 00:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by scrumptious_lora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men don't want the baggage, or to raise someone else's kids, spend the money on them, or have to deal with the kids' father. It's a huge burden and responsibility.
2006-11-19 00:36:25 · answer #8 · answered by Moxie Crimefighter 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Dont think kids as commodities ..Think in positive angle when somebody is thinking about ur cousin or any women who wants to remarry or long term relation..he or she will definetly think to have his off springs and any body who is gauranted of having off springs shall be definetly preffered
This is also observed pattern in dumb and deaf animals so dont think why smarter human beigns are attracted etc
Learn darwins principle for evaluation...
2006-11-19 00:40:23 · answer #9 · answered by ashishmulye 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe many men still think in terms of used goods. Its probably more likely because they figure any woman with kids isn't looking for a date, they're looking for a husband. Now, as girls we know that not to be true, but in all fairness you could see how a guy might be afraid of that. And.....a psychiatrist would be pretty intimidating!! Especially one who can't heal herself???
2006-11-19 00:37:53 · answer #10 · answered by alwayslarat 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋