Should this child be told the truth?

Question

Her unwed mother was molested by an uncle but she hasn't named him as the father yet. The uncle was charged and went to prison. The child is now two years old. Should the child ever be told and if so how? At what age?

I should add that the mother is in counseling and the uncle will not be able to have contact with any child under 18 during the 10 year probation. No one knows about this except the baby's grandmother and myself (a close friend) The family is suspicious but the father's name is not on the birth certificate. DNA tests were done.

Answer 1

the child should know btu wait until she is old enough to understand thier will never be a perfect time to tell her but wait until she is older and can understand she deserves to know the truth

Answer 2

If mom is currently in therapy, what does the therapist recommend. Get a second and a third opinion. As tough as it is, the truth is always the truth. It cannot change as the world does. If you want this child to respect you, and not resent you for a moment, you will be honest with the child. A good time may be when conversations about sex and sexuality are had. Be in a safe environment where any reaction is appropriate. Make sure you offer a counselor, with an appointment preset in case the kid wants to talk. Do not lie to this kid. The info will get out. It will only be a matter of time. Hopefully you will be the one who can explain, share love and concern and support. Not Aunt X or Cousin Y.

Answer 3

This is a very sad situation. Eventually the child will want to know of the father. Especially when the child becomes an adult and needs to know the history of the father (ie medical issues to be aware of like cancer, etc). I do not think the child should know while he or she is young. I hope the mother is in counseling and the counselor would probably advise the mother on the best means of approaching the child (if ever) regarding the father.

Answer 4

The issue is delicate and wrong handling can affect the child adversely!

It's a good idea to tell it only when child asks about it.

Till then keep quiet.

Just keep preparing a child for the truth by telling stories about angels that landed on this planet by some sudden good or bad events that made moms pregnant and then these unwed moms gave birth to these angels without giving father's name as these are kids of god!!!

Answer 5

No, never, the family should protect the child at all costs. and the mother. This is the kind of case where I think the best thing would be to ensure that the childs father is never named on the birth certificate or anywhere else. If the child ever asks, later on in life, stick to the we dont know answer no matter what.

Answer 6

well if you want a million dollars in therapy costs then tell him if not then don't,
i don't think so, it could have a traumatic effect on his life, but then again he has the right to know, i think it is up to the mother to say something, i think he needs to be raised in a healthy environment without him knowing the truth for a decade or two then tell him, only when he is older,
plus are u sure it was the uncle?
have there been DNA tests?
you don't want to release this kind of information until u are 1110% sure it is the truth,
you could try speaking to a doctor or a social worker before saying this, as well as speaking to his immediate family, this could really mess the kid up,
think wisely
i think it would be best not to tell him, he do sent need to know, it is safer this way,
but if he starts asking questions about his father etc, then i think u should tell him at the right age depending on his curiosity in regards to his father
if that made sense
anyway
good luck
god bless

Answer 7

Oh my god, what a situation, you poor thing, look, if it was me, I would not tell the child, but can you rely on other people sticking their noses in and leaking the truth later on. How many people know about this situation, you have to be careful, if your not going to tell the child. The last thing the child needs to know that he or she is a child of abuse and molestation especially from a relative. Go and talk to a councillor about the situation, they will be able to help you or who ever you are asking this question for, they will also offer support and the correct support. This is a very touchy subject and not something that people who have never been in this situation, can help you with the answers. If it were me, NO, I would never tell my child that my Uncle raped me, try and imagine how she/he would feel. The mongrel. Please seek professional help about this situation. Good Luck

Answer 8

Well this is intense and should be handled carefully. Wow what a difficult question is posed. I think the child should be told once she is of the age of 16 or older once she becomes curious, before then no person should give her a lie about her conception, just push off telling her, if she is insistent, she should know. This knowledge will only give her a larger knowledge of the variety that life throws at us. I will admit this is particularly heavy, but I think if this is the life she is born into, then thats the world she should know.

Answer 9

yes the child should be told becuz if the child is not told, you ever heard the saying a child is ten time worst than their parents...well that is true in a lot of since, the child will probly fall into molestation becuz that will be how the child coops with not have a father or being told about the father....but all im saying is do not and i repeat DO NOT keep anything like this from a child they need to know where they came from to know where they are going.....and you should tell the baby when they are old enough to understand and take heed...you will know when that is....hope this help....God Bless

Answer 10

Make sure the child is his - or someone elses by dna testing- and whose name is on the birth cert- this guy is going to get out of prison- and will there be an order for him to have no contact?? He may try to force his way into her life-find out what your options are- the day will come- and she will need to know the truth and someone is going to blab- better to hear it from someone that cares-D

Answer 11

That is a touchy question. I think the child should be told but not anytime in the near future. The family should decide later when the child is mature enough to handle the news.