I have just one daughter and I am very happy with just one... however... when I tell people that I am not having anymore they look at me like I am some kind of psychopath. My daughter on occasion has expressed that she wants a sibling.. but that JUST won't work for me and my situation at all. Am I somehow "damaging" her by not giving her siblings?
2006-11-18 15:12:50 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We are great parents to one child, and that's all our life can let us handle. Not having siblings will not damage a child, there are lots of only children out there as proof!
You can have more children, so long as your body and the government let you, but it does not make you a better parent. The number of your children should not be the measure of your parental worth. Some families have bunches of kids and do great, and others raise bunches of unhappy kids. You find what works for your family and be happy doing it. Maybe people need to be more understanding.
If people give you strange looks about having the one, tell them you are waiting to have the second when your husband can carry it, he's dying to be the pregnant one next time! Works for us.
2006-11-18 15:23:30 · answer #1 · answered by BuffyFromGP 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. Of course not. Of all the reasons people want children, having them just so your current child can have a "companion" is probably one of the worst. And there is no evidence or research that suggests that an only child is in any way "deprived;" what I have read actually suggests that they develop better imaginations, and become very creative at entertaining themselves. The only reason to have another child is if YOU want one and you are ready and can support one. If you're worried about socialization, try arranging "play dates" (if this applies, you don't say how old she is) or sign her up for activities where she can have companionship. I've always heard you should never get a dog/cat for the sole reason of becoming a companion for your only pet, and surely the same rule would apply to children. (LOL)
2006-11-19 02:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by wendy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My older cousin is an only child and told me that fact shaped her entire way of looking at the world. She said when she married she had several kids so that her oldest would not be an only child. That was how she dealt with it.
There is an example of someone who cared about being the only one but recovered well. It is natural to want a sibling but in the long run not the end of the world if you don't get one.
2006-11-18 23:19:38 · answer #3 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being mean nor are you doing any lasting damage to your daughter. When she is old enough, explain to her exactly why having another child wouldn't work for your life's situation, remind her that be being your only child she alone gets all of your love and attention. I know many people, including members of my own family, who had only one and all of those kids turned out great. Ignore those who think they can judge you, they don't have to live your life honey, you do. Good luck & God Bless.
2006-11-18 23:35:51 · answer #4 · answered by Daydream Believer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're the only one who can decide what is the best number of kids to have. If you're only considering it because of what you think others may think of you, then that is not a good enough reason. Kids always say things like that, I wanted a younger sibling when I was little and I already had an older brother and sister. Anyway, my point is, it is definitely not mean!
2006-11-18 23:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by redpillowcase 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
no girl, it is not mean to have one child. I have one child and i chose to get my tubes tied after him because i didnt want another child right now. I am gonna be adopting a child soon. U have to treat the only child u have as if u had 2. No spoiling and explain to ur daughter that u dont want to have another child right now. U are not damaging her it was just ur choice
2006-11-19 00:14:42 · answer #6 · answered by good4u06@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see absolutely no reason why it is "mean" to have only one child.
My hubby is an "only" child and he's perfectly normal. In fact he has developed alot of positive qualities from this, such as confidence, independence, "the art of making and keeping" quality friendships (they need it).
There are some hang ups...like selfishness, however these can be controlled by you...the parent.
So...if life doesn't permit it for you, next time someone tells you that...tell them to butt off! You make your decisions in life by the circumstances that surround you and "your" dreams and desires...not any one elses!
2006-11-18 23:27:07 · answer #7 · answered by Fried Plantain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No if that's what you want. I don't believe anyone should take on more than they want or can handle. Your daughter will understand later in life. If people have no understanding for this tell them you won't object if they have all the children they want.
2006-11-19 11:02:08 · answer #8 · answered by linda_dematteo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course not! u should do what u want, not someones else's. if your daughter get lonely, try getting a dog, a cat, or a house pet she'll like. u shouldn't worry what others think. youre the one who has the situation and all. but still, u should do what u feel should do.
2006-11-18 23:17:28 · answer #9 · answered by ianaday4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think your damaging her but from personal experience, I may fight with my siblings but I think it would be unbelievably boring at times to be an only child. Siblings are great and so are new babies but if you don't think your up to it then I"m sure she's fine.
2006-11-18 23:15:14 · answer #10 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋