i hav 4 kids live with the parents of boyfriend who is in jail they always tell me how to raise my 2 older kid

Question

the older kids have a different father. It is impossible for me to support myself and 4 kids on my own.his parents are very giving and are good to me and kids just can be over powering sometimes i dont want to seem ungrateful

Answer 1

First of all, it is highly irresponsible for a single mother to have four children. You can only have time for one or two. Let me guess, they are from different fathers? I have nothing against a teenager who gets pregnant or a woman on welfare with a couple of kids and am against forcing them off. They should be with their kids till the youngest is six. They could go to school one day a week and work two days a week but the kids must come first.

Since you cannot support yourself financially, you must ask for whatever you can get out of the fathers' savings and assets. Go to court for alimony, an estate settlement and child support. It is your right. Next, you must take parenting classes and get counselling. Design a mutual responsibility plan with your parents who can help you. Go to Social Services and ask about money for job-training and education. They may even help you get an apartment.

You must be the disciplinarian and must pay attention to your kids. Teach them and guide them. If they grow up with problems, it will be on your shoulders as the primary parent. You are not to blame for this lowlife in prison, but keep him away from the kids and find a decent man if you can, or else, allow your father and brother(s) to be role models for them.

Answer 2

Well in SC you would both be considered minors so your parents would not be able to put him in jail however I don't know the laws in Arizona. How pregnant are you? How have you managed to hide this from your parents? I was 17 when I got pregnant. My boyfriend was 22. My parents did not put him in jail we ended getting married having 2 more children and seperating after 6 yrs of marriage. It took 3yrs to get the divorce due to custody issues. You now have many decisions to make, but please think carefully before you get yourself into anymore trouble. Talk to your boyfriend and then together talk to your parents. You may be surprised what the out come will be. I know you are scared but show them that you can communicate with each other and come up with solutions to your problems without your parents having to foot the bill.

Answer 3

I think they are just trying to be helpful. They sound like very understanding people since they've allowed you to move in with 4 kids, 2 of which aren't their sons. Try not to take it personally. They know that you are overwhelmed sometimes and they are trying to help you. They have grown children and probably have some pretty good advise if you're willing to take it as such. Let them help you with the kids...it's alot for you to handle alone. Be grateful to them for giving you and your children a safe place to live.

Answer 4

They probably see some very dysfunctional parenting going on and only want is in the best interest of two children that are not their responsibilities to support, but choose to do so because they are good people.

Answer 5

Girl, u have 4kids? and you dont even have a place of your own?....Come onnnn And then havvvee the nerve to live with your Boyfriend...not husband.... but boyfriend's Parents....oh lawd how triflin can you gettt. Impossible for you to support 4 kids on your own? Now adays thats all you see women doing is taking care of their kids by themselves and doing pretty good job at it.

Answer 6

you would not be ungrateful if you asked them to please let you be a mother to your children just say it to them in a nice way that they would understand they are very nice to take care of you and their grandchildren but if you wanted to you could make it on your own that is why i pay taxes to help people like you who really need help the state will help you and you will feel better it may not be the luxury life but it will be your life with your children and i bet your boyfriends parents would respect you

Answer 7

If your living in their house you have to be prepared for their input. Their house, their rules. If you can't handle it you'd better come up with a new way to care for you and your children. You should be very grateful. If it's to bad why don't you go to your parents? Or get a second job?

Answer 8

Hey, unless you can stand on your own and support yourself, why would they think that you can raise 4 kids by yourself?

I guess it's a case of their house, their rules. You have the choice of take it, or leave. I guess if it gets bad enough, they'll tell you to leave.

Answer 9

-There is no such thing as I can't support 4 kids on my own-you had them-now is the time to take care of your own kids and not depend on other people-if you don't them to give you advice are tell the kids anything negetive get a place of your own-those are your kids and you do what ever it is that you have to do to raise them-those are not your jailhouse boyfriend two kids-because if he is in jail he can't take of his own two kids-from a single mother of 6 kids,that i raised alone in a apartment that i paid rent for-not my in laws but me-grow up you are a mother-be one.

Answer 10

Just tell them (when you disagree) , I know you are just trying to help by making suggestions, and I really appreciate everything, but on this matter, I am choosing to do this a little different.