isnt there at least one person here who can help and not give me a lecture of what they think is right?

Question

I need help...but I know Im going to get a whole bunch of answers from people who just dont care, and think I am satan or something. I am 23 years old...I just had my first baby girl who is 5 1/2 months old. She is my world...she is my everything. I wouldnt trade her for anything...Saying that..last night I found out I am pregnant again. My husband and I have been so careful, we just dont know how it happend. I am considering abortion and am torn to death. I need advice from those of you with the experiance of abortions to help me get through this. It just can't happen right now..It is too soon. Please help

Answer 1

remember it's your body and it's your choice. whatever you decide you must consider adiquate birth control. your baby is a demanding asset just nowand you love the child. the danger here is that if you have a new baby so soon you may become resentful of both, because your time will never be yours. You deserve a life too hun, I am sure what ever you decide you will come to terms with eventually. this is a very private and intimate decision you need to share with no-one but your husband. don't be bullied into anything. just remember this is your life too. A lot of people rant on about abortion but i believe that if there are health and social issues then it is justified. we have to remember the health of the prospective mother not just the unborn child, If she finds she cannot cope then both kids will suffer. possibly her mind her self esteem and her marriage. I dont judge you as the devil satan or evil just perhaps a little young and eager, please please do what you feel is right. remember your decisions are as valid as anyone elses. just do what YOU believe is right for you, because only YOU know all the circumstances. good luck hun i feel your pain

Answer 2

Sweetie, I'm against abortion but I will not lecture you. I just hope you can take some advice from someone who has been there. I have 2 daughters who were born 51 weeks apart. Both of my children were concieved while I was on birth control. I had been using the patch with my oldest and had been on the nuva ring for about a month and a half when I had gotten pregnant with my youngest. I was very depressed during my second pregnancy I didn't know what to do. I had this baby in me that I didn't want. I felt like having this baby would take my time away from beautiful daughter who had just been born a few months before. When I was 4 months pregnant, I had to be rushed to the emergency room because of severe bleeding. The first thing I thought was that I was having a miscarriage and deep down I was thankful. I found out I had placenta Abruptio. I was put on bedrest and still 2 months later I found out the my placenta was detatching itself even more. By this time I felt my daughter kick. I didn't want to loose her and I hated myself for ever thinking such a thing. After I had her I went into severe PPD. Things got better after being on medication for a while. Now my beautiful daughter is 19 months old and I couldn't be any happier for how things have turned out. My youngest has never taken me away from my oldest. My girls are actually the best friends that little girls can be. Please don't rush into anything before thinking it through. Good luck and I wish you the best.

Answer 3

I understand where you are coming from. While my son was younger, I was on birth control as well. I decided very early, that if I got pregnant too early, while on the pill, that I would have an abortion. Luckily, that never happened, he is now 2, and another baby wouldn't be so bad. I can't give you very much advice, except go with your heart. I know your little girl is young, and it would take away a lot of the attention she should be getting right now, but think so hard about this before you decide. An abortion isn't something you can take back, and it will stay with you for the rest of your life. If you can't live with that, you might not want to do it. I am pro-choice, but I also know how hard an abortion can be to deal with emotionally. There is really no one who can help you on here. The only 2 people who need to be discussing this, are you AND your husband. Good luck, and my thoughts are with you.

EDIT

Just curious how someone could be pro-choice for themselves, and pro-life for everyone else?

Answer 4

I'm not going to lecture you. It's your decision and once it's made you have to live with that decision...what ever it may be.
That being said...I had a horribly botched c-section with my second baby (who was planned). I ended up on bed rest for 3 months and had to have a home health nurse come to my home everyday and I had to go to the wound care center once a week. It was horrible and it was painful and it was degrading.
I faithfully took my birth control pills every single day at the same time everyday, like clock work. I also exclusively breast fed.
Imagine my surprise when I found out I was pregnant. The doctor even asked me how I managed to get pregnant. My husband and I had sex exactly twice. It wasn't even good because I wasn't up to it yet. I was just too weak and it was just uncomfortable.
Then my husband lost his job. He lost it because I was sick and he had to take off work a couple of times to get me to my appointments.
We had no income, a 3 yr old and a baby.
I thought I was going to end up in the loony bin.
Seriously.
My daughters are only 14 months apart. People ask me if they are twins. People give me "that" look. The one that says, "Don't you have anything better to do than get pregnant one right after the other?". People make snotty comments like, "Wow! You sure did have them close together didn't you?".
I don't know how we made it , but we did. I don't know what I would do if I had made a different choice. I can't imagine my life without her.
I had to have my tubes tied after her birth. I didn't have any choice. Getting pregnant again probably would have killed me and the baby. I'm only 32 years old. I ache everytime I stop and realize I can never have another baby again. I don't really need any more, but it's just the thought that gets me. I have the 3 children that I always wanted. I wouldn't have changed it for the world.
It was so incredibly hard. But, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Answer 5

Well, first you should probably ask a family member or a doctor for their opinion. If I were you, I would listen to my heart, and my family and friends. Whatever you feel is right at the moment, then go for it and think nothing of it. I had an abortion when I was just a teenager. Some people did not agree with it, and at the time being I didn't either. Now I'm glad I did it. My life would have been ruined and I wouldn't have such a wonderful career. If you aren't ready for another child, or you can't handle the pregnency, then by all means, abortion is the answer, but If you just don't feel you could handle another child, but pregnency isn't the problem, then I would consider you giving the child up for adoption. Good luck, sweety. I hope this helps.

Answer 6

I can't tell you about an abortion... but I can tell you about having a baby so soon after your first!
My first baby was a surprise.... of course, he is our world we love him to death!!! But we aren't the richest people in the world and we struggle week by week....
When my son was 10 months old, I found out I was pregnant again.... I cried for weeks, I didn't want to have a baby so soon, I was happy to have another baby, but I knew that we couldn't afford it.... but it happened, so we were just going to take it one day at a time, and think about how blessed we will be that we have another baby! My daughter was just born this past August, and I am so so happy that I ended up having her..... she is the most beautiful little girl in the world, and I feel horrible that I had my doubts about having her!
We are still struggling with money, but we make it..... we are alive and we eat....
You are pregnant..... you have a wonderful baby growing in you, don't turn your back on this baby..... it happened for a reason!
My best friends son turned 1 today, and shes due to have her next baby in 4 weeks..... another woman I know got pregnant when her first was 2 months old....
It happens alot more than you think, and they are all happy that they decided to keep there baby.... its hard, but they make it work. You can make this work.....

Good luck.....

Answer 7

Unfortunately no one can give you an answer you will truly be happy with. This decision is yours and your husbands choice. If you feel that it was a mistake to get pregnant have the abortion or carry the baby to full term and give it up for adoption. On the other hand have the baby and make it your world all over again. I can't tell you what to do because I have never experienced that. I can only wish you the best of luck with your decision and hope that you make a decision that is right for you. BTW, you aren't going to hell I can promise you that ;).

Answer 8

ok well i did have an abortion a long time ago because i was very young and did not think that the father would be there. at the time i did not see that there could be any good of having a child at that time in my life, and now i am still with that man and we have 2 children. i hate myself everyday for killing my child and i have tears in my eyes writing this to you, but all i can say is that it might not feel like the right time for you but you never know what can happen in just a short time, things could change and the only thing that you wont be able to do is get that child back. the decision is yours but trust me someday you could look in that child's eye's and be the happiest you have ever been. don't just think of the moment think of your future 20 years down the road when you have no one but you and your children! good luck!! if you would like to talk email me at [e-mail]

Answer 9

Well you didn't say if you and your husband had planned to have any more kids so at this point I'd say call it at two and have your husband snipped... You're married, and I understand the timing might not be right or money may be of concern but it's still you and your husband's child so just roll with it and make sure you take steps to prevent this from happening again.

I have not had an abortion myself but have a few close friends who have, and I would just like to say that watching my friends go through the physical pain was bad enough but some of them have personal beliefs that make the emotional pain much worse than any hardship they would have had to deal with had they just kept the baby instead. (PS- Pro-choice for myself, pro-life for everyone else... No one else has the right to tell YOU what to do with YOUR body! Make this decision based on what you believe is right for you!)

Answer 10

First off I am not going to lecture you. I am a mother of 4 wonderful children and couldn't imagine my life without them. Saying this have you thought about giving the baby up for adoption instead. There are lots of couples that don't have the joy of having a child on their own. The only thing I can tell you is to think long and hard before you make a decision. You could make someone very happy.