Relationship Question...?

Question

Hi Just wanted to ask the community a question. Here are the basic details of my story. I am 22 right now

-Started Dating Chick in high school she was 15 I was 17
-Started having sex the summer of that year (I was never able to ***)
-Decided to mess around with a guy I new, I was friends with his brother, he was approximatelly 19 maybe
-I didnt drop her even though she did this
-Our relationship ship seemed okay, she went to south padre and messed around with some random guy(had sex)
-I broke up with her and she probably fcked someone else
-We got back togethor
-She had fcked someone else while we were not togethor
-I had given her everything, now i wanted to kill her
-We were still togethor
-I graduated from high school and she was only a junior
-I stayed in the same city for a year
-We broke up and she go togethor with a guy i want to murder
-I went away to school about a hour & a half away
-She died(The summer before she was going to go to college)

I have been in a fcked up state of mind for the past 4 or 5years. While I have been in college I havent even thought about another girl. Well maybe a little. I am about to graduate and I havent even kissed a girl since I have been here. I cant stop thinking about her.

Why is my mind so fcked up?

Oh ya and now I think my peronality have changed for the worst. I have lots of difficulty talking to women

I dont have any money

Answer 1

Dude, you need to talk to somebody, and I don't mean over the internet.....get some help man!!!

Answer 2

I take it "I don't have any money" means you can't afford counseling? They offer free counseling in community buildings, usually. (In my hometown, it's in the same building as the unemployment offices and the driver's ed crap). If you live in the city, it should be even easier to find free counseling. If it's not in your area, then it's all up to your own personal mental ability to get over it.
And I don't mean "GET OVER IT!" because it will take some time.
You just need to keep telling yourself that it wasn't your fault she died - death happens to us all, eventually. So you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Your relationship ended before she passed away, so just remember WHY it ended - she cheated on you! You really shouldn't have gotten back together after that fact, but you did. So I'm hoping you've learned from that. ;)
My guess is that you find talking to other girls more difficult now because you feel bad about breaking up with her right before she passed away. So again, her death was not your fault. She was probably also your first real relationship, so you still feel attached to her and feel like you're disrespecting her death by trying to find another girl.
Don't.
She disrespected you while she was still here by cheating on you ... several times.
Yes, it's unfortunate that she died, but you really had no relationship while she was alive. It's time to realise that even if she WAS here, you could still do so much better.
You need to muster up the courage to talk to the ladies. Once you find the right gal, you'll feel less guilt about being with another girl after the passing of your ex.
Hope that helped. :S

Answer 3

hope: My heart sincerely goes out to you. You are grieving and are in a sadden state of mind. Relationships are sometimes, very difficult to manage. You were the "giver" your former g/f was a "taker". Relationships to be healthy, require both, giving at times. No one says, that you have to settle into a relationship, at this time in your life. You have been through one hell of a war emotionally. Remember; that every girl is different, as guys are. When you feel up to taking another kick at the proverbial "can" and finding a g/f, you should be all the wiser now for it. Date around with different girls, get involved in different things to expand on your playing field. There is someone out there for you and a good one too - go and find her. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

because she died you didnt get to really close out that relationship. no closure means you can't move on. the only way you are gonna be able to get the closure you need is to seek some sort of counseling.
good luck my friend.

Answer 5

Sounds like you might feel guilty if you move on, try talking to a professional counselor.

Answer 6

You should move on, its not ur fault she's dead, unless you really did kill her like u said u wanted 2. Go fck some hot girl who adorres u and move on I now from experience, just not the dieing girlfriend part

Answer 7

You made a mistake. Now, get some help and move on with life.