I met the man of my dreams and we are engaged. Yet our engagment/marriage isn't accepted by everyone.?

Question

I met a great guy and we got engaged. We are both divorced. I have been divorced for three years and he has been divorced for one. I have no children he has two. The problem is we are both Catholic which doesn't believe in divorce and to remarry you must have your marriage annulled. My annulment will be done in about 8 months his 2 years. There is never a guarntee that his annulment will even be granted but we are almost certain it will. The thing is we don't want to wait and he who has a strong Catholic Network is being shunned by his friends and even his father. We don't want to wait to get married we are IN-Love and just want to grow old together...maybe later our marriage can be blessed by the church. What do you guys think??

Answer 1

Give up your silly religion (they all are) and join the real world

Answer 2

Ok, I have some personal experience with this one - but it's only "my" opinion.

My husband and I have been happily married for 34 years. We are both Catholic and were both married before. We were married in a Civil Ceremony first, and being young, I honestly didn't think about an annulment at the time.

We raised our children Catholic. I took them to church and they received the Sacraments. However, I never went up for Communion and it "always" bothered me. The older I got, the more it bothered me, and I really agonized over it. I felt like an "outsider" everytime I went to mass.

Years later I applied for my annulment, and shortly after I received mine, my husband applied for and received his. We were married shortly afterwards in the Catholic Church we attended. I think we had been together for almost 25 years by then!

There's nothing keeping you from getting married except your own personal beliefs. It's a shame that his father and friends can't be more "supportive". The only "judgement" that matters is God's, not theirs.

This is a personal choice that only the both of you can make. Your decision should be based on whether or not you are able and willing to "wait" for your annulments. If not, then the answer is obvious, get married now.

I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do. All I can say is I'm very thankful that we were finally able to marry in our church, it means everything to me.

Answer 3

You say that later your "marriage" can be "blessed by the Church". That is not really accurate, even though such terminology is frequently used. The actual fact is, if you go through the motions of a "wedding" anywhere other than in the Catholic Church, you will not have a "marriage" to be "blessed", because you will not in fact be married, except perhaps in the eyes of the state, and what does that matter? What the Church will be able to do for you later is MARRY you, not "bless" a non-existent "marriage". In the meantime you would be living together without benefit of marriage, and worse, living in adultery, since you are both married until your annulments are finalized, if in fact that happens. So, if that's what you are going to do, spare yourselves the expense and trouble of an invalid and meaningless wedding ceremony, and just move in together until you grow up and decide to do what is morally right, and marry in God's Church.

Answer 4

You should wait.

One reason--which doesn't address your stated concern--is that you have known this guy for less than a year (or else were having an affair with him). So, if you've known him for less than a year and are calling him the "man of my dreams," it sounds like infatuation. You may wish to allow the love to mature. Or else you could find yourself looking at a second divorce after a hasty, infatuation-based marriage.

Also, what were the reasons for your respective divorces? Christ himself said that if you divorce for a reason other than adultery, then any marriage you have after that one is itself adultery.

In addition, if you can't wait to get married, what is your love worth? Is not love patient? 1 Corinthians 13

Moreover, is the fulfillment of yourself at the core of your life, or do you consider the thoughts and feelings of family members when you make decisions? If you want to consider yourself, go ahead...but be prepared to potentially lose the support of people you might need in your life--family--because you didn't take them into account during a major life decision too.

I am not sure that shunning you is the best option for these other people, but clearly they have some difficulty with it, so it would be wise and mature to at least let them air their concerns with you so that you all might reach an understanding.

Or go ahead and do what you want, abandon your faith tradition, upset family members, and be happy that you got what you wanted it when you wanted it how you wanted it, with nary a thought of the morrow.

Answer 5

First, are you a man or woman? Second, divorce in a sin. It is no better or worse than any other sin according God. However, people react differently. God forgave you, why shouldn't they? I think that should should bring it up that you understand it was a sin and ask them to forgive you and/or your man diverse, not marrage. Or, tell them that they should forgive you guys. In a Catholic sense they should forgive you guys and in a non-Catholic sense they should know that you guys have done stuff ,(but so has ever body,) and stop being stupid and support you guys and be happy for you. But, if you are a guy, then i have no advice because I don't know where I stand with gay marrage. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

My reaction would be to tell the Church to stick its opinion where the sun don't shine, get yourselves married in a civil ceremony (or, if you must do a church, try Episcopalian -- they're pretty close to Catholic) and then if the annulments come through, you can do a Catholic church ceremony later if you want to. The Catholic Church's pronouncements on marriage and sexuality are so obviously stupid that most practicing Catholics (as well as everyone else) simply ignore them. The most important thing to remember is that there is one opinion, and only one, that counts: yours. It is not, under any circumstances whatsoever, anyone else's business but yours, and you should not hesitate to say so if anyone questions you.

Answer 7

I think you need to take this before God. I am not Catholic, but I am Christian. The bible says if you divorce for any reason other than adultery and remarry, you are commiting adultery. The fact that you are even asking this question shows me you need to sort out some things about your relationship to God, what you believe about His word, etc. Only the Lord can show you the truth in this matter, and I pray you seek His guidance.

Answer 8

Let's see.... A Christian finds another Christian. Falls in love and wants to be married. But, two of God's Children can't get married due to a technicality with the Church. Am I the only one seeing a problem with this?

I think you two need to walk away from that Hell bound church and go find some real children of God.

Answer 9

there is this sales coverage agent guy who i love very a lot and he's a very warm, very appealing, very handsome, mind-blowing-searching and extremely horny guy who has a mind-blowing and astounding body. His entire body is sweet in each way. His call is Robert C. Reisig. he's amazingly romantic, respectful, style, sweet, trusting, dedicated, dependable, loving, worrying, captivating and he likes to be on my own with me. He is likewise a very tricky-worker for the activity that he does. he's the guy of my aims and definite I have got here upon him. He likes some one else. I have this mind-blowing and satisfied feeling deep down in my heart that sometime he will finally comprehend that he loves me very a lot, that he needs to marry me and that i'll make him more than satisfied.

Answer 10

Since when has the catholic church been so righteous. What about the scandals of their priest with boys. If you love that man and i'm hoping your a woman then the 2 of you get down on your knees and pray with all your hearts and ask for his blessings in your union. what does it matter if the church blesses your union all you need to care is that in Jehovah's eyes you arre true to him and to your selves. i know he forgives and if the 2 of you are sincere in your love, prayers and deotion then it should be okay. there are so many religions and churches it is hard to know which one is right but fortunately we are born with instincts so listen to it. don't worry about the ones judging you know aren't we not spose to judge. take care

Answer 11

very often, we take on even more problems than are warranted, and we find ourselves facing the same ones, regardless. His children know their mother, and will always have her as their mother, can you live with this?

Another thought to consider: if you think that he is not worth waiting for, then you have to reconsider your decision. You better ask God for guidance. No matter what you think, what is right and honourable is more important than your needs and wants. such is the life of the religious: full of selfsacrifice.