My husband has another child, who is now 20 years old. We have only recently started communicating with her, after 9 years of no communication. We are getting to a point where we may meet up with her. How do you explain to a 4 year old that she has a sister that she has never met?
2006-11-18 12:12:51 · 16 answers · asked by Roo's Mom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I agree with everyone who said to tell her camly and be honest about it and to answer all questions as best you can.
Be smart about telling her also, if she has had a bad day, it might not be the best time to tell her. Also, wait for a time when she is fully awake and not grumpy. Maybe when you are all sitting down for dinner or having some sort of calm relaxing time. Try not to interupt her playtime; if she is in the middle of something don't make her stop, that will only make her upset from the begining.
I would definatley tell her now though. The worst thing you could do would be to keep it a secret from her. If you wait until she's older to tell her, she will probably feel first like you don't trust her and second like you have deprived her of something. Maybe she and her sister will be best friends and maybe they won't, but she deserves the opportunity to find out.
Good luck! I hope everything works out!
2006-11-19 04:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can tell your 4 year old that she has an older sister. Since the older child is 20, you can say that her sister was out of contact with you for a long time as she lives in a different state or area. I think your 4 year old daughter will accept this well and most like will be very willing or eager to meet her new older sister.
Good Luck :-)
2006-11-18 20:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by Debbie S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the child is 4 she does not need to be told anything, you would be
over explaining. If things work out she will see the love and know how to act. I raised a child that I did not father and my son never knew that she was not "of the same blood" until he was 14. It just never came up. He is 33 and she is now 28 they are still brother and sister, love is what makes families.
2006-11-18 20:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by gobobgo55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to right now. The child would not understand it. If you do it may cause trouble. I would wait till older and then sit down and tell the child. I know I have a step-sister that lived only two days. I was told one day that I had a sister and I said you'll I know but they looked at me and said a bigger sister. I was shocked and caused a lot of trouble for my parents because I did not get that my dad had been married before my parents got together. So I would wait. Good Luck and I will be praying for you'll.
2006-11-18 20:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by buddy95 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You start with the fact that her father had another wife before he met you. That makes an easy lead in to the fact of an older sister. Get your child a picture of her older sister and then let the events roll.
2006-11-18 20:17:06 · answer #5 · answered by St N 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We told my ex's daughter who is 12 that she has a baby sister when our daughter turned 1 years old. She took it very well. She is a very excited big sister.
Honestly if the 20 y/o has an interest all the better for your little girl.
I say the more people there is to show love the better.
2006-11-18 20:19:35 · answer #6 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just tell him thats his sister daddys other daughter. I have older half brother and sisters but my dad has been in there lives and even if they were not around my dad always talked about them, So I grew up knowing them my brother lived in New York and we live in California so he would call and I would talk to him and visit and my sisters were around. But my dad had to explain to me that he was married before and had other kids but he never seperated us he treated us all the same he never excluded them he had pictures of them up
But just tell your child he may ask questions but explain it because he needs to know and his other daughter may be offended if you dont let the child know it maybe difficult to take but he'll get it. I did at 5 it was hard to understand why they werent my moms kids but they explained and I got it
2006-11-18 20:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by Jaime T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be good for her to meet her now that way when she gets older it won't be a surprise to the child that he/she has an older sibling
2006-11-18 20:20:08 · answer #8 · answered by miz m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just explain the situation and have them meet immediatly. although the 4 year old probably will not understand..she will most likely jsut be glad she has someone other then her parents to look up to :]
2006-11-18 20:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by her <3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is your older sister but she has a different mommy......at least she is 20 years old and not a toddler...then it would be much more difficult to explain.
2006-11-18 20:21:15 · answer #10 · answered by kamsmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋