My ex boyfriend and I had been going out since Febuary of 2005. We told each other that we loved each other in April 2006. Everything was perfect. Then, after about a week into school this year, he started acting different. He was more distant, and when I tried to hold his hand he pulled away. I was hurt, but I didn't show it. Instead, I backed off, hoping that he would tell me when he was ready. September 21st, he took me aside and I knew instantly what was going to happen. He told me that he wanted to break up, but that we should be friends (he "really really didn't want to hurt me"). Now he half ignores me, and only has eyes for another girl, who doesn't like him back. He is also hugging our female friends constantly, which freaks them out a bit. When I talk to him, he tells our friends that I'm "Trying to get him back". He uninvited my to his birthday party, saying that it was "all guys", but my friends told me he invited them. Others notice his change. What happened?
2006-11-18 11:51:18 · 22 answers · asked by Paper 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He left you because you are too emotionally needy towards him.
Develop self-confidence in yourself. It will attract more guys and you won't care. That will drive guys nuts!!!!
2006-11-18 12:12:16 · answer #1 · answered by Michael 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure, but I'm guessing you're young, probably in high school? I have gone through the exact same situation as you when I was around your age.
This is what happened - you two got very emotionally attached very fast, which almost everyone does. When this happens, it seems like the break up is the end of the world, but it really isn't. And I know you're saying, "Yeah right girl" because I said the same thing in this situation too. But the truth is, this is just one boy out of the many you will become involved with.
He's backing off because he's trying to distance himself from you, unfortunately. He's trying to make you jealous with other girls obviously. But, take this as a big hint and just leave him alone. Trust me, if you become clingy, emotional and weird it will just make him distance himself even more. If you take the approach like you're just friends, or even less than that, he will be wondering what happened. The ball is then in your court, and you can speak to HIM when he comes to YOU.
Good luck sweety :)
2006-11-18 11:57:51 · answer #2 · answered by cutiewithabooooty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is one of the worse things in a break up, all the questions you are left with.
If your mutual friends still talk to him haven't they asked him why? Are they too afraid to tell you what he says? If they haven't asked him why, then one of them should. I know you'll get over him a lot faster if you find out the exact reason.
No one on Yahoo answers can answer this question for you.
All i can say is that I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I know it is very painful. Good luck and if you are a really gutsy girl I'd say just ask him yourself. Tell him you don't understand why. And never be afraid to admit your feelings. You might feel stupid and don't want him to know you are having a hard time getting over him, but let him know you are curious about what changed.
2006-11-18 11:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by jay-z8900 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well now daughter,let me tell ya what!! It's called I-M-M-A-T-U-R-A-T-Y!!!! A lot of young guys / boys suffer from this malady. He thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence when he fell for this other girl and with her rejecting him he's trying to act cool by hugging on your friends and could be he is trying to make you jealous. He's kind of like a huntin' dog who constantly barking up the wrong tree and we always pawned that dog off as a pet to someone cause they were offtrack, so to speak. So lucky for you he pawned himself off. Is he your first love? Well I can tell ya this,HE WON'T BE YOUR LAST!!!Look around , I bet their is some guy who is in love with you right now and worships the ground you walk on He may be shy or he may be obvious as heck !!! Have you noticed a guy who watches your every move or peeks sideways at you? Just a thought . Us guys are a dime a dozen so here is 50 cents go find someone else!!!!
2006-11-18 12:17:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys can be really idiots sometimes. I have a friend that does the EXACT same thing. He pushes away the girl who is the best for him out of fear (i think). He only chases those who aren't really intrested. The chase is what guys like. He only has eyes for other girls because you are always asking about him and worried about what he is doing. As hard as it is (believe me I know) you just gotta shake it off! Really just stop asking about him, stop worrying about what or who he is with. Just live your life and let him go..if you two were w\meant to be he will come back with time. But that's exactly it...YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIM TIME! As well as you..you need time and take it to see what else is out there! GOOD LUCK!
2006-11-18 12:00:27 · answer #5 · answered by nikki nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. It's hard to understand and even more difficult to explain. You want to be able to make sense of it all, and you want to find answers. Truth is, there really doesn't need to be a good reason.
People change. And its not your fault, or his fault. We are unsure of our feelings, and we develop new feelings and new dreams. You want an answers, good answers that would make it all make sense. But even if you knew your ex bf's deepest thoughts it still wouldn't be a good enough answer. No answer will be able to take away the feelings of loss and pain.
However, all of this really natural and even healthy. When you are in love your brain produces some neurotransmitters including oxytocin. Oxytocin is a chemical that gives you a feeling of attachment, trust, love, nature's bonding. When you are with your boyfriend, your brain makes oxytocin. When he touches you, more oxytocin. After a while, just the sight of him and you know what??? more oxytocin.. To get over him you have to stop with the oxytocin... To do this you need to stop seeing him, and start with new interests.
You sound like a person with a good head on her shoulders. I believe you will do just fine. Good luck with your next romance.
Here's a article about oxytocin...
http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/index.html
2006-11-18 12:07:15 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wtf.
he has issues.
i'm sorry for ur breakup.
but the part where you said everything was perfect..
eh...
no relationship is perfect. none.
well maybe he doesn;t feel the same way he feels before.
i'd say move on.
i think you should give him his space.
his giving you urs
and mite as well move on.
and in a way this is the real thing hun.
he didn't want to hurt you.
i guess it wasn;t ment to be.
he'll come around to be acting normal around you.
it takes time.
and ina waytime wears off love.
love like rain can shower couples in love & joy. but sometimes under the angry heat of life... love dries on the surface and fights down to its roots to keep alive. and i guess...
ur, his and urs love didn't survive =(
i got that from the book the five people you meet in heaven i think it totally has an effect here...
2006-11-18 12:04:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His friends may have wanted him to break up with you. If he didn't give you a reason then he is just cant make up his mind. Lots of people told me that this one guy doesn't deserve me, so he probably doesn't deserve you. It also sounds like he wants you back if he is hugging your friends all the time. He might have been pressured into it and he really didn't want to
2006-11-18 12:42:56 · answer #8 · answered by Nice girls finish last 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With those details, it's hard to say, but I would guess that you've made yourself too available. As hard as it is, stop trying to talk to him. He sees you as too safe, too compliant, and it's caused you to lose your value. I know it's rough! But try to move on, because one of two things will happen, and both results are good: either 1) he'll realize his mistake and stop taking you for granted, while no longer making you sound clingy in front of his friends (grrrrr. the jerk.), or 2) (more likely) he'll continue to be his jerky self and you'll at least have closure so you can move on.
Hope that helps, sweetie! I know this has to suck...don't take it personally.
2006-11-18 11:56:20 · answer #9 · answered by elusiveoptimist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave this guy behind. Don't pay attention to him he is only doing this stuff to you because he knows you still like him and is doing it to make you mad. Just quit talking to him and hanging around with him. He was the one that broke up with you so it was his loss not yours. He will someday realize what kind of mistake he made and he will regret it but don't take him back.
2006-11-18 11:59:43 · answer #10 · answered by *be_23* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop him and ignore him. He is just trying to play you and if you continue following him you will be played. He hugs other women so you will notice. He wants others to think he's special but he's not.
Drop him and forget him. He will come crawling back and it's important to not acknowledge him.
He's a jerk and deserves to be disrespected.
2006-11-18 11:55:50 · answer #11 · answered by Antonio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋