I am almost 21 and my family still controls my life. I am engaged to an amazing guy who is 26 and just out of the military. The only problem is my family doesn't support my engagement or marriage. So far, they have threated me with money and keep telling me how disappointed they are because I am getting married. I have 3 semesters left of school, I am applying to law school and graduate school and I am not quitting school. I don't understand why they can't just be happy for me? This is not new. My family has been controling my life since I was a kid (obviously) but when will it end? I am very independent and I honestly hate it when my mom says to me that since she is my mother she can do and know whatever she wants with me and my actions just because she is my mother and my grandma is the same way. How do I make it stop and get them to give their blessing so I am not miserable on one of the happiest days of my life???
2006-11-18 10:47:34 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
PEOPLE TREAT YOU THE WAY THAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO TREAT YOU!!!!!
Until you change, they will not change. If you are very independent, follow your own path, finish school, get married,
Everything else will eventually fall into place. You can only be controlled, if you allow yourself to be controlled. My husband was in this exact same position, and he was also threatened to be cut off with money if he married me, well decades later, we have never gone hungry, and we are happy as ever. Again, people treat you the way that you allow them to treat you...
2006-11-18 12:42:00 · answer #1 · answered by Ceajae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you sad it, your Gram is the same way, so this is something your mother has learned, and the sad thing is there is a Strong possibility you will do the same with your kids.i sure hope not, but ya never know. all you can do is tell them how happy you are and that you were hoping that they would be happy for you.now the hard part is going to be the day of the wedding. do you tell them they cant come unless they change there attitudes or do you allow them to come and hope for the best. no matter how much advise you get from people on here, only you will be able to decide that.
2006-11-18 11:14:36 · answer #2 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wedding day is important for you, and for those people
who love you. Not an uncommon problem, is the initiative.
Weddings are possibly expensive, if you do not pay attention.
Get a Koolaid planner. Weddings, and receptions are the
real package of fun and the event basically depends on the
entertainment. A sober soda pop open bar, with no toasts,
no drunks, is very nice. Happiness can be found in having
the wedding party and rental fountain of coca cola! They attend
with handing out candies. Part of being an adult is you have
assembled for your entire life an adult entourage of friends.
This is your problem, you have to now go out to share with
your family and friends and plan events yourself.
2006-11-18 11:34:17 · answer #3 · answered by mtvtoni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At some point you need to stop the insanity. Tell them that they are observers in your life only, and if they try to interfere any further than they will be living a life without you in it. At least until they learn to control themselves. Cut the apron strings, and use a chainsaw to do it. Get married if your ready, don't quit school, and enjoy your life.
You are your own woman. Know it, Live it.
2006-11-18 11:17:01 · answer #4 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tecnically you are a adult and you should be able to do what ever you want escpecially if you are 21. You should be able to date ,marry or have sex with whatever guy that you choose. Mabey your parents are not ready for you to leave them yet? You should try talking to them to see what the problem is and if you can work it out.
2006-11-18 11:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by lblondie15 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why they don't seem happy for you, unless they're having a hard time letting go. That in itself might be the case. I suggest you have a family meeting between you, your family, your fiance, and his family. I hope everything works out. Good Luck.
2006-11-18 10:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm. would happen to still live with your parents? have you ever lived together with your fiance yet? id say live in an apartment with your fiance for abour 2 and a half years before you marry him. he can wait, you can wait. youre only 21, too young. your family is doing whatever they think that is best for you. not controlling you.
2006-11-18 10:57:01 · answer #7 · answered by funky_homosapien 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋