Supose you are the dad. The 16 year old son comes to you with the report card and tells you he modified some grades and feels really guilty now so he wanted to confess. The report card as it was in original was bad. Would you punish the kid only for the bad report and how? Would you punish the kid for the bad report and for changing the grades with the intention to lie to you and how? Would you give some credit for confesing the truth , if yes in what way?
(Im the kid tourmented by guilt feelings and wanting to confess )
2006-11-18 10:46:05 · 13 answers · asked by Rebel 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I'm a dad and have teenage kids. Here's how I would handle it:
First, thank you for bringing it to me and telling me the truth. It shows you are growing up. However, we need to decide how to address the fact that you were going to lie to me. What do you think would be appropriate?
At that point we'd talk that portion of it through.
Ok, now we need to talk about your grades, what's the problem?
How I would proceed from that point would be decided on what I found out. Is the kid screwing off? Does he have an honest probelm and need help? Are outside activitie interferring with the core need to learn important subjects?
Once all that was worked out, if the over all was positive or the kid showed true remorse for the attempt I might suspend any determined punishment based on future behavoir. The idea is to encourage honesty and help the kid get through school in the best possible manner. Punishment for the sake of punishment usually does more harm than good. Lessons should be instructive and one of the lessons here should be that its always best to come to me about a problem. If I punish too without good cause I'll fail at teaching that lesson.
2006-11-18 11:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would punish for the bad grades and also work on a plan to improve the grades. This plan could include tutoring, more studding, and ect. (If you need to help with studding, the do it!)
I would still also punish for the changing of the grades but cut the time of the punishment in half for the confession. (ex: If you would have normally grounded them for a week, do 3.5 days.)
I would explain the time reduction and praise the child for telling the truth!
2006-11-18 11:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confess and lay the groundwork for an honest relationship.
If you do not have a history of this behavior, they will probably go easy on you.
Also, maybe have a plan of action ready to get those grades up before the next report card comes out.
Do the right thing.
2006-11-18 10:55:40 · answer #3 · answered by BigTip$ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a parent i would respect the fact that they confessed, but if u didn't confess then would the dad eventually find out and that is y u are confessing if thats the case then i would punish for both but if the dad would never had known then the punishment would be less severe because of the confession
2006-11-18 11:22:51 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ gina ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't punish you for changing the grade since you confessed and said you were sorry but I would address the issue of the bad grade and research and see how I could help you in the subjects you are stuggling in.
2006-11-18 10:53:19 · answer #5 · answered by egg_sammash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is going to be mad no matter what, BUT he is going to be more mad if he finds out you lied without your confession-say from teachers or the school or just because he is your dad and they aren't stupid.
I think you should tell him the truth. I think he will be less angry at you than if he were to find out on his own. Just tell him you made a mistake and that you were ashamed at how poorly you did and that you didn't want him to feel ashamed too. Tell him that you will make every effort to do better next quarter. Good luck.
Character counts!!!
2006-11-26 07:22:20 · answer #6 · answered by Julie J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would, wow. there is a lot to think about. I'm in eighth grade, so its kind of hard to pretend. well, if you where my kid (hypothetically) i would pro bally lecture you, lol. i would just calmly talk to you about it! i mean, i wouldn't have grounded you for the bad grades. i may have taken away your cell phone or computer or something like that. but then when it comes to changing grades, if you wouldn't have had told me i would have grounded you from life for like a month, but if you would have told me, i would probably ground you from going out and ground you from the phone for about a week or two. i wouldn't ground you for very long because you admitted to your mistakes and you know what you did was wrong, and i hope that you would know not to do it again, and maybe to get some better grades next quarter!! well good luck!!
2006-11-25 08:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by You Are My Sunshine<333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would praise him for confessing and give him a slighter punishment since his grades were bad. Explain what the original punishment would have been and then tell him the new punishment since he confessed.
2006-11-18 10:55:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mariposa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do the right thing,you're dad is still be you're dad I'm also a parent it happen to me but in different situation but I didn't punish my son instead I talk to him seriously. Its better to tell him soon don't worry about his anger its natural thing, maybe he will punish you but believe me he Love's you, I know how hard for a parent to punish there child but sometimes parent need to do that, to teach the child that what he do is wrong to correct his thought. But before you go to you re dad make time to pray ask HIM for help.
2006-11-24 23:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by yana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be honest & take what the father gives you in return you knew better then to change your grade & then try to hid it then after the dames are done you want to confess well if i was the father i would ground you untill your bring up the grades & take your privelages a way untill you learned your lesson
2006-11-18 10:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋