im dating a guy in the army and hes stationed 14 hours away. we talk every night, but when he comes home i only see him maybe 5 times...and he could be home for two weeks. well hes getting ready to deploy and decided he wants a break. he said it has nothing to do with us, but that he justs needs some space to figure some stuff out and get organized. my question is, should i just lay off him and wait (which is what ive been doing) or should i try to get over him and move on? i love him to death but he seems kinda selfish sometimes and it makes me wonder why i love him...but u know how love goes, it doesnt matter what he does..i still love him.
2006-11-18 10:45:48 · 16 answers · asked by annie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How much space does one need.
Move on.
2006-11-18 10:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me baby 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can move on and let him go......sometimes they come back into our lives sooner than we think, but you should show him that you are not dependent on him. Or you can wait it out. Being depolyed is NOT all that and a bag of chips, he will need some time and space basically like he said but for his job.
Of course I hate to say it though but there is also a possibility that he may want to do whatever he feels like during deployment and that also goes for being with other women, such as other female soldiers. Not sure he may not be that type.
You love him, I understand, I have been in your shoes and reality will strike. If he truly loved you he would not need "a break".
He may not be able to contact you for a while at the beginning of his deployment which is understandable and he should contact you when and as much as he can. Only time will tell but continue on with your life, especially if you are not married to him and let time be your guide.
Love hopes all things but remember Love also offers no guarantees.
Just being real with you.
2006-11-18 19:03:01 · answer #2 · answered by TheOne 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
BELIEVE ME i know about this give him a resonable chance mabey he does just need a break but if it turns out he's just trying to lose you cry a few tears but get over it and start the process of healing and enjoying life again but give him a chance talk to him or send him a letter and ask him for a reasonable answer as to why he needs this break since you aren't seeing each other that often anyway, and if he can't respond or in other words doesn't want to MOVE ON!!! because you'll get cought up and you'll regret it ALOT
2006-11-18 18:54:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think his request is perfectly reasonable and understandable. Believe it or not there are some things in life that may be "more important" at this particular time.
If you "really love him", why would you even consider "moving on"? Try to be a little "understanding". Why not make his time at home as pleasant as possible before he gets deployed? I don't think that's too much for him to ask considering what he will be "sacrificing" for the rest of us.
Please thank him for us for what he's about to do. His country loves and supports him. We are all "proud" of him and our troops, you should be too.
2006-11-18 19:07:57 · answer #4 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally when a guy tells you that he wants a "break" it means he has someone else and wants to see how it goes with out jeopardizing your relationship. If it doesn't work out then he'll come back to you and you may never know about it. If it works out for him he may not come back. I could be wrong and for your sake I hope I am.
2006-11-18 18:49:05 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the break.If he'd wanted to break up he would have told u so.
Getting ready for deployment is really tough for most people since they maybe away for quite some time.Don't misinterpret him,his deployment will affect your relationship and so i think he wants time to make good decision before he leaves.if you love him then be patient with him.
2006-11-18 18:55:05 · answer #6 · answered by Phy A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My hats off to the men and women serving and protecting me and my family - if he told you it's not you..it probably isn't. He's under EXTREME pressure and intense feelings going away....you are doing the right thing by letting him have his space. He's being honest about what he needs...pretty good guy.
2006-11-18 18:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally it is before they say "it is over". Don´t wait for him and try to move on and if later he comes back and you still want him you can start again. Good luck.
2006-11-18 19:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by Martha P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break... he says...well...he's overwhelmed with everything, especially in the relationship. He needs time to decide if you're really the one for him. If your terrified he's going to break up with you...you need to tell him to be honest with you! If he doesn't see himself with you, he's just wasteing your time. I know it's scary, but you are going to have to prepare yourself for anything, whether the situation is bad or good.
A.L.
2006-11-18 18:50:37 · answer #9 · answered by Angelus L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs time to think things through. He may feel the way you do about him but hes unsure of idk, issues that bother him. Perhaps you should ask him this very question so your for sure and could move on if its the case.
2006-11-18 18:50:53 · answer #10 · answered by anna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋