i work with this girl, Sam, and she's never been very feminine, always getting called sir and stuff, and until recently i felt kinda sorry for her, because its not her fault she's not very pretty and looks kinda like a guy, but today her girlfriend came in to see her and sam tells me that she's always felt like she was meant to be a man and is going to get a sex change and well, my mind is blown. i had no idea these kinds of people lived in my town, let alone that i'd ever have to meet one and i just don't get this, but i have to work with her and we've been friends up till now, but i still think this is all wrong and god doesn't make mistakes like this and she must be sick in the head ro something what can i do?
2006-11-18 10:41:36 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
First of all, put your shirt back on.
She is the same person you knew before, isn't she?
Post-mortem examination of tissue samples from the hypothalamuses of transgendered people show the center for sexual identity in their brains match that of the sex they believe themselves to be.
Call it not a "mistake". If you think of it as a birth defect, would that make it easier? If she were born with a harelip would you think it was okay for her to get it fixed?
She's a person, a person you liked. She's still the same person regardless of what her genitals look like. If yours were lost in an accident, would you not still think of yourself as a man?
.
2006-11-18 10:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by Chickyn in a Handbasket 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should let her know that you are not comfortable with the situation. Don't try to fake it - she will see through it. She is a friend, not a girlfriend, so keep the whole thing in perspective. Her becoming a him, will not have any ill effects on you personally. Live and let live. This is a free country. Once you get over the initial shock, sit back and watch. This will probably be an interesting lesson, albeit a brutal one, in human nature. You will learn volumes and have the opportunity to be a friend to this person during a disturbing time.
2006-11-18 19:15:47 · answer #2 · answered by georgiaporchmonkey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were you really convinced that you lived in a perfect cookie cutter town? There are people of all walks of life all over. Her life will not infect you, so settle down. It's not like you've become best friends who hang out all the time and now feel betrayed, you only work together, end of story. It's even possible that if she does get that done, she may want to leave town and reinvent her whole life...since staying in that job and place may be awkward.
P.S. She trusted you to tell you such a thing, so don't go and be a jerk at this point. If you don't agree, best bet is to just smile, nod, then ignore it...
2006-11-18 18:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by Indigo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices:
1 - Keep your friend, because you can rise above what "society" has dictated as "normal". GOD does not make mistakes.
2 - Loose a friend, because you have a problem. Thereby hurting an innocent person, and finding out an important facet of who you are - not in a good way.
It looks like GOD is seeing if YOU can live as Jesus taught us.
I hope you can remain friends. Humans need friends.
2006-11-18 19:23:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing has changed but your perception of her. Ye had in your mind already an image of what ye think she should be.
If she is not THIS then she must be THAT, when in reality, her true person is completely ignored and discarded from the equation all together.
Now, you are no longer friends, because of your own failed prejudgments? Why is she responsible for the disappointment of your own expectations?
If that be your course of thinking, then you shall never understand her even if she wants ye to.
2006-11-18 23:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by Audrey Grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Adam, there really isn't much you can do as far as trying to convince her that she is wrong for doing this. I'm quite sure her mind is made up. The best thing you can do is pray for her. You have to work with her so you have to be nice, but you can let her know (in a nice loving sort of way) that you don't agree with what she is doing, but prayer works much better than preaching.
God bless,
Stanbo
2006-11-18 18:53:17 · answer #6 · answered by Stanbo 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let her be and wish her well. If God didn't want people saved from a massive heart attack he wouldn't have allowed lifesaving surgery. A trangendered person is not a mistake, he or she is just a transgendered person. If she confided in you, she trusts you, so don't let her down. If you can't support her, I think you should back off.
2006-11-18 18:50:10 · answer #7 · answered by Charlevoix Blue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can open your mind and try to understand that maybe, just maybe, you are wrong. I know that must be a horrible blow to your ego, but I assure you, it's a very freeing way to be once you get the hang of it.
I would say stay her friend, but I think she just might deserve better than that.
2006-11-18 18:47:07 · answer #8 · answered by Snark 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know lots of people who would agree with you but it is ultimately your friend's choice to do what she wants to with her life. If you do want to still be friends with her (which she would probably appreciate) then just support her in whatever decision she wants to make. If not then let her know how you feel and hope you don't hurt her too bad.
2006-11-18 18:52:10 · answer #9 · answered by cabonarakittie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that Sam opened right up to you about her sexuality, since you're so open minded.
PS - Put your shirt back on.
2006-11-18 19:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by Kathryn™ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋