Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing, enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?". "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight, "here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!!
Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her...... He's naked too!!! The ***!"
He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife; she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his *** off to teach him a lesson."
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the golfer impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here.....
2006-11-18 09:17:06 · 16 answers · asked by foureyesslim 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I freaking love it!
2006-11-18 09:20:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
severe-wonderful one!!! action image fashionable individual for you! proper that is taken under consideration one in all my favorites: a brunette grew to develop into junping up and down on railroad tracks chanting ' 22, 22, 22 ' decrease back and reduce back. a blonde is strolling through and then watches the brunette jumping and chanting. she doesnt understand why she is doing this, yet she joins her as a results of actual actuality interestingly relaxing. they both leap on the tracks for a even as, till eventually they listen a custom coming. the brunette receives exited and starts jumping higher and screaming louder, so the blonde does the similar. the practice's tooting because it comes closer, and ideal contained in the previous it squishes them both, the brunette leaps out of the thanks to protection. to position it short, the blonde, authentic, didnt. after the practice passes, the brunette takes up her spot decrease back on the tracks, keeps jumping, yet this time, she chants, '23, 23, 23 '!!!!!!
2016-11-25 02:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by marez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a scream, Made me cry laughing and my ribs hurt now! very very funny, got anymore?
2006-11-18 09:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by mistickle17 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
knock down 2 birds with one stone that funny.
2006-11-18 10:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I heard that the other day, do you drink in my local?
2006-11-18 09:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by mysquello 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so freaking hilarious
2006-11-18 09:21:19 · answer #6 · answered by junebaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hehe, very funny!
2006-11-18 09:18:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cute
2006-11-18 12:46:53 · answer #8 · answered by Shell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg!! Lol!!
2006-11-18 10:01:05 · answer #9 · answered by coca_cola_froggy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your really good i like your jokes just want i need a good laugh LOL
2006-11-18 09:37:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋