How do I nicely tell my grandmother to keep her mouth shut?

Question

Let me start off by saying I am 21 years old. I have 2 kids and am going to have anther one in June. I live with my boyfriend. So people don't think I amachild or anything.

My grandma is the most noiest person and rudest person there is on earth.
She comes to my house every Sat and the crack of dawn like9 am. She comes up and the first place she looks is my childrens room to make sure they are clean. It really agervates me becuase she has no buissness doing this.
Than if I go somewhere with her she tells me i need to kick my boyfriend out ofthe house becuase he does nothing . Which is not true at all. He works a full time job with crazy hrs and still manages to help me with the kids and house work. When there is nothing to do he will go on the computer or play his x box. She knows nothing she is a miss know it all really she is always right.
She is embarissing my children love her but how do i tell her nicely to shut her mouth about my boyfriend and brother and to stop gossiping.

Answer 1

Sometimes we have to remind the Mom's and Grandma's that we are grown up now, and have our own lives and houses. Tell her you love her dearly, but, that the things she says hurts your feelings and this is your life, and house and she really needs to learn to respect that. Because you really do want her to visit, and be a part of yours and your children's life, and that your boyfriend is a part of that. She might feel a bit hurt, or even embarrassed, but she will get over it and except things the way the are.
I call my mom, Nosy Rosy, sometimes. She just laughs!
My own daughters have had to put me in my place a time or two, and remind me whose house it was. I tried to tell them how to organize there kitchens!
Good luck to you! Just be blunt and gentle!

Answer 2

I looked over the other answers before I set out to compose mine. While the other folks are trying to help, I think that the following should be considered: She's your Grandmother. While this is "family" it's not as though she were only one generation removed, so you do have the option of just cutting her out of the picture, which would be a much harder decision to make if she were your, or your guy's, mother. So you DO have this as a fall back position if all else fails. From what you say, I don't think you will have much success in talking to her, but rather than concluding that she's "set in her ways", has anyone considered the possibility that she is a victim of Alzheimer's? All the things you say she does are classic patterns for someone in early to middle stage A.D. Only a doctor can make this diagnosis, and if that is indeed the case, there are medications which can alleviate the problem behavior, and also make her discomfort less. (If she does have AD she does suffer, believe me. I've seen it firsthand on more than one occasion) If your parents are alive, or your uncles/aunts are her children, they'd be the appropriate people to help your grandmother deal with this. If they are unwilling you or your siblings would be next in line. If nobody is able to do this, or if Alzheimer's is ruled out medically, then I feel you must cut off contact------You and your family need to be your main concern.

Answer 3

I think that you should sit down with your grandma and explain that you are your own person and that you are in charge of your household and your life. Tell her that you are happy with the way that things are and that you have no intentions on changing things. Say Grandma..I would greatly apprecite it if you would be so kind as to let me run my own life and deal with my family and home in a way that I feel comfortable. I respect your opinions...but I have to make my own decisions about what is best for my family.
I hope this helps. I had to do the same thing with my sister n law because she kept butting in. It seemed to work and I think that she respects me more becuase of the way I approached her.

Good Luck. Let me know what happens.

Answer 4

the very fact that you are actually asking us about this problem reflects on your soft nature. Sometimes, you have to be cruel in order to be kind.

You cant change grandmas. They are beyond the scope of change management. After reaching a certain age, they feel strongly about certain things. But, it is not an issue for you to sever ties. You may actually miss her if she stops coming.

I have similar experience with a close family member. It takes time to be both tactful but nice. If you refrain from offending her, I'm sure she will begin to understand and accept her diminished control over you.

Answer 5

She just sounds a little overzealous in
making sure you guys don't make any mistakes, which I suppose is a sign that she cares in her own twisted way.

She doesn't need to bag on your man
especially if he works and pays the bills though.She's overstepping,She will recieve a 20 point deduction for this.


Tell her you want to have control over the amount of privacy in your house.
Tell her that you walk around the house naked when the kids are at school and
that you don't want anyone barging in.
Tell her to ALWAYS KNOCK because of this.Keep your doors locked also.She will have to knock then.
It's simple respect.

Answer 6

Cut granny some slack. You are unwed, three children and 21 years old. Maybe she wanted you to wait until you were married. I am not saying that you are a baby, or a bad person, or stupid. I am a Mom of a three year old girl. When I think about my daughter at 21, I want her to be finishing college, dating, vacationing, learning, experiencing.... . I am sure you LOVE your babies and you would not trade them for the world. But, it is hard work and when dreaming about what you want for your babies, being unmarried with three kids is not high on the list. Maybe granny just envisioned something else for you. Good Luck and i am glad you are with a good boyfriend who works and helps out around the house! JUST MARRY HIM!!:)

Answer 7

Lol.
First tell her, mom, I appreciate that you care about me, who I'm with,.... but I can get my own freedom of choice too. The truth is is that my boyfriend works full time, and he still takes care of the children and all that. Mom, I love you and all, but sometimes you just assume things when you are wrong.
If you don't want to tell her this, you need to tell her something, before it gets out of control!
Hope I helped!

Answer 8

Just politely tell her, sit down and have a nice talk with her. She needs to let you have your independence. Believe me, this would bother me too. She may not even realize that this bothers you, because you have not said anything. Good Luck

Answer 9

You need to be able to talk to her and not just hold it in. Tell her that you 2 need to talk and just tell her exactlly how you feel. Tell her that you understand that she is taking care of you and wants you to have a good life, but it hurts when she cant trust you cleaning your own kids rooms and you understand that she might not like your bf but you love him and he does take care you and your kids.
You just have to able to talk to her, holding it in is never gonna help. You might hurt her feelings you might not but its just a risk your gonna have to take to back off. either way she will get over it.

good luck

Answer 10

"Grandma, I know you love me and you're concerned about me. I appreciate that so much. I want to reassure you that our family is happy.....I am happy. If I ever do have problems, know that I would come to you and talk about them. I'd appreciate it a lot if you would respect my family enough to lay off of the negative comments. It's upsetting to all of us. Please, trust me when I say that I am grown up and able to make my own decisions."