I'm 19 and considering a romantic relationship with a man 20 years older then me?

Question

Can anyone who was or is in the same sitch tell me the pros and cons and what to avoid?

Answer 1

Ok, when I was 18 I dated a 35 year old man. To be honest, if I had known his age, I never would have dated him. The thing with guys any age, but especially older ones, is whether or not they have kids. I love kids, but baby mama drama is too big of a headache!! If you think you can deal with it then try, but I would advise against it. Also he will have more past relationships... obviously relationships that have failed.... maybe all for the same reason. You know the more I think about it you have to worry about this stuff with all guys. A plus is that USUALLY they are more mature then guys our age. I would say just try it and see what happens.... GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 2

My daughters Aunt has been in that exact same situation a few times. Things I know she's had to deal with is no different than with men your own age. People will treat you good/bad no matter what age. However, when someone is in a relationship with someone that much older, sometimes the older one can take on a 'parenting' attitude'. Then again, her older man (he's about 25 years older) treated her like a queen...even after they broke up. It all depends on the individual.

Good luck on the relationship!

Answer 3

Big Mistake.....A relationship is hard enough without adding more to the mix to deal with. 20 years difference in age is HUGE and you will never be on the same page at the same time. He will many times look at you as a baby and it will always be a problem between you. Don't do it. Find someone much closer to your own age that has similar life experiences that you can share.

Answer 4

My daddy's friend:, he's like 56 and his gf was like early 20s. Im like wow, like 'father' and 'daughter'

Pros+: - The husband got alot of experience? Maybe?
- Supportive more than person your age? Not 100% correct
- Money Money.....lala~

Cons-: - Others might felt......you know, especially your friendsparents
- Easily bored dued to age different dramatically

What to avoid?: I dont know, coz i never been in to your situation before, all the pros and cons listed above are juz mine random un-experience opinion/z

And hey!, Goodluck, juz remember 'Age is only....a number'

Answer 5

As long as it's not a long term relationship it should be ok if this is what you really want. Think about it, next year you will be 20 and still in your prime, he will be 40 and slowing down. What does your parents think of this up coming relationship? This man is old enough to be your daddy.

Answer 6

Seriously dont do it, you are never going to be able to share everything because of your in diffrent stages of life. He will either have to be very imature and you dont want that OR you are going to have to skip past some of your best young adult years to act more mature. It will never be able to go any where because your time frames for where you should be in life are way off... Find a guy withing 5 years of your age and Enjoy your life as a 19 year old.....

Answer 7

The pros are that he can offer you his wisdom and experience and you will make him feel younger. The cons are that you might find him not that much fun sometimes, and he might find you immature. You both might find the relationship isn't going anywhere because you and he are at different stages in life.

Answer 8

This sounds dubious. What do you have in common? I'd suggest getting to know him a lot better before jumping in too deeply. At 19, your experience is limited, and the possibilities of a bad outcome are significant.

Answer 9

Oh my God! It is and has been for me just wonderful (but with knowledge and intent that we probably will never have children
together). My first lover at 14 was 32. My current principal lover is 49. One of my girl friends is also 19 and has a lover also 49 and it's just as great for her. Experienced older men, if they treat you as equals and are intellectual with you and are not with you just for sex (which does happen to be usually much better than with younger guys because older men with experience just want to please) and respect you (including for your sexual experience) are just terrific and understanding and they don't try to run your life. Great for mentoring, too, of course. Go for it and relish every moment.

Answer 10

when you see your dad in this context
does it make you uncomfortable b/c if yes it will be the same at some point with tall/dark n handsome man too

if no and you can see yourself with daddy like figure no prob
then he should be very well rounded
biz owner or great job that he is happy in and been so for >5yrs
have both male/fe-male friends that are normal relationships
treats you like you like to be treated
its very possible, but numbers would be very against you

50 divorce rate [ for perfect in everway couples]
once you see as dad figure he will be this way forever
as he tires, so will his drive...are you a scorpio?