I'm 22, and have been dating my bf for almost a year. He has ADD, and it really affects his life, as well as mine. He's usually okay about keeping in touch. This past week he went on vacation across the country to visit his friend. He e-mailed twice saying he'd call, and never called. It's great that he got to have fun with his friend, but I feel as if I've been ignored. He's coming home late tonight, and we're supposed to have plans tomorrow, but I don't know if they're still on, or if he's even remembered them, since he hasn't called. When he's done this before, he's acted very sorry, blamed it on the ADD and I've forgiven him. But I feel that by forgiving him for something that bugs me so much I'm being a doormat. Anyway, should I forgive him, or move on?
2006-11-18 05:42:29 · 17 answers · asked by Andrea T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My trust for him is not an issue here. I KNOW he's not cheating on me, but I think I'm worth at least a few phone calls a week, ADD or not.
2006-11-18 06:07:19 · update #1
Although it may have been the ADD, also guys just want to spend time with they're guy friends. I just went through this I know EXACTLY how you feel. My guy hadn't seen his friend in over a year, i got a couple of text messages and he as well forgot to call. I was heart broken. My uncle explained to me that its not that he was ignoring me or avoiding me, it was that he hadn't seen his friend in a long time and he wanted to do "guy stuff" with his best friend. Because I spend a lot of time with my guy it was hard for me to understand that he could spend time with someone else. Anyways, I forgave him and things are back to normal, always tell him how things make you feel. keep a journal or something every time something happens write it down, you don't have to address it but if it becomes persistent then talk to him about it. It helps and he will listen. Life's too short. Love and learn. good luck.
2006-11-18 05:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by Erin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Puhleeeze! Unless he was in some remote part of Timbuktu and didn't have access to a phone, I say there is no excuse for him not calling you. Of course he'll have to blame it on something, and he happens to have ADD...how convenient! Imagine going through a relationship (or maybe marriage) with him where he blames just about all his shortcomings on an illness. Don't give in too easily. ADD does not make people forget their so-called loved ones. I work with them and I know.
I agree with HIGHLY FAVORED. Do you know the fried he went to visit? He may have not been able to call because of the company he was in/with. Listen to your heart.
2006-11-18 05:49:12 · answer #2 · answered by vanityspice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ADD is a hard thing to live on, and I see your concern. If you're really concerned do this.
1. Sit down with him tonight, saying you want to have a talk to him.
2. Gently say that you feel like he's using his ADD as an excuse way too much, and that you're willing to give him another chance but he has to shape up a little bit.
Just tell him the truth, that his ADD is being used as his excuse way too often and it's starting to get old.
2006-11-18 05:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by winds_of_justice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would forgive him b/c he does have ADD, but I am sure he is not stupid. Do u know that friend across the country????? I am not trying to pour salt on the wound but come on, he did not call and he was across the country. You were worried sick, while he was having a good time. Do not let him insult YOUR intelligence, OK, He is smart enough to book a flight and get on a plane and get to his friend's house, then he damn well could remember to at LEAST call u!!!!!! I am mad for u, girl. Let his *** know! I am no one's fool.
2006-11-18 05:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by HIGHLY FAVORED 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive him dear...maybe he might be thinking y u had not called.After all,realationships are to be sorry and to forgiven and to love more...Dont leave or angry with him.Go ahead and tell him that he never caled u though he promised you.Or u cud say,he shud never promise to u again.Guys tend to get a little freedom and express their joy when out of the reach of women.Not necessarily meaning that he doesnt love u anymore.U have such a wonderful person and i am jealous of u for ur love to him.wish i had someone like u :-(
2006-11-18 06:41:43 · answer #5 · answered by Vishnu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that since you know how badly the ADD affects his life you should forgive him. I doubt, sine you guys have been together so long, that he's been out and about with other girls.
2006-11-18 05:44:06 · answer #6 · answered by uhd0rableo8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this may hurt but its true, when he doesn't call or make time available for him to call you, he's just not that interested or, he could just be trying to get a break from you guys need that freedom every once and a while!
2006-11-18 05:45:55 · answer #7 · answered by Careatha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's that this unruly cousin who would desire to convey regret for her outrageous habit which placed a diverse cramp on your occasion. additionally, so no longer invite this individual to the different function the place alcohol is being served. she will't carry her booze and she or he's violent. Who needs this type of drama?
2016-10-15 17:21:26 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to make sure if this relationship is supposed to be a committed one.especially if its not the first time.and on the other hand he might have just been so busy he might forgot.go with your heart a women knows best.
2006-11-18 05:48:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. ADD has nothing to do with calling your g/f. ADD means you can't concentrate not you can't remember.
2006-11-18 06:19:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋