Discipline on Children?

Question

How come spanking your children is considered abuse? Does anyone think that "time outs" really work? How come parents are teaching children less and less manners?

Answer 1

Spanking is not considered abuse.....UNLESS you leave visible marks on the child.....Its not acceptable to spank your child with an object like a belt or a stick....It is only acceptable to use your hand and only on their bottom.....I work with an organization that advocates for abused children......And that is what is permissible in the state of Texas.....

Some children do require 'spanking'.....It really just depends on there temperament....Some children test more boundaries and challenge parents more, so at times an occasional spanking does wonders and of course, not in anger.....But constant and repeated spankings are hurtful and breaks a child's spirit.....Its a very fine line, so please use spanking as a last resort.....

Answer 2

Time outs do work. It all comes with consistency. If you are consistent with whatever punishment you choose and behaviors you do or do not accept then you'll have success and rarely need to use spanking.

My cousin is five years old and has lived with me the past two years. It's been a long road but he now has manners. Unfortunately when he was living with his grandparents he learned nothing of proper behavior or manners. We had to start from scratch but at age three, as you can imagine, that was a long, hard road.

While spanking is NOT abuse--I don't think it's always necessary. I would much rather leave spanking for more serious matter or as a last resort. If you constantly hit a child--eventually they believe it's okay to hit. If for every little thing they do wrong they get a slap on the hand--they will learn that to correct bad behavior (in people they know) you hit someone. It's not a lesson I will teach my kids.

I have spanked--but I do not do it daily. My kids both have great manners and they are delightful to be around.

While you may think spanking is the only way to go--it's not. Neither is not spanking. It's only what works for that parent and their child. It's not something anyone should deem right or wrong for another family, parent, or child.

Answer 3

It depends on who you talk to. I, for one, don't think spanking is abuse. Children deserve spankings when all other avenues have been exausted, in my opinion. There are times where spankings can be used to get a very serious point across (such as "you will NOT disrespect your mother").

Time outs work for some kids, but not others. That's why parents should tailor their discipline styles to match the personalities of their children.

Parents are teaching their children less and less manners because 1.) they are too busy to spend the time and effort to teach their children and 2.) parents want to be "friends" with their kids.

These are just my opinions. We need to come together as a society and put the focus on what matters...more attention on raising our children to be respectful, successful, happy adults and less attention on making enough money to buy that flat-screen t.v.

Dismounting soap box now. Thanks!

Answer 4

I do not think spanking a child is abuse. Not if done on the bottom, and in a loving way. you should never discipline out of anger, no matter what you use as discipline, and the child should always know that they are loved, that their behavior was bad and not THEM and that there are always going to be consequences to their actions. The bible says to spank, and I believe the bible to be the text book to living. I think the LACK of discipline is the reason for so many out of control kids. And if spanking breeds "fear" ..isn't some fear necessary to foloow rules. Why don't we steal or speed or break the law in other ways..#1. Our DESIRE to be good and not break rules. ( So this should be our #1 objective with our children.) #2. Our FEAR of the consequences. Without that fear, alot of people who are lacking the desire to do good would be breaking laws and rules put before them.
This is a very controversial subject. People will argue about it and will always believe their view is right. The goal is to have children who want to do right and good, and know what consequences mean. I think instead of looking at parents who spank their kids as some sort of abusers, people who DON'T CARE what their kids do, or what their kids desires are should be the ones seen as abusers. It's funny that there is more contrversey over spanking than the death penalty..

Answer 5

A lot of parents today we'rent spanked as children, so they have no idea how to spank without it being in anger. Anytime you spank a child because you're angry with it its abusive. A spanking should be for the sake of teaching the child, not relieving the parents anger.

While spanking is really effective as a form of punishment, its the lack of consistantcy with parents today that causes such horrid little children. Parents are lazy and brainwashed that love means never punishing. So when they do punish they are inconsistant and usually follow it with "make up" time, or prelude it with a million warnings that do nothing but send mixed signals.

Its really sad.

Answer 6

Tough...spanking while angry is wrong--we were taught not to hit as children, right? But spanking while not angry is just bizarre... I think spanking young children is definately wrong. Older ones with fresh mouths need to be put in check now and then, perhaps with a pop on the noggin--
Time outs have worked for me, but only in the confines of my home...I still haven't figured out a way to punish while in public.
As for manners, I think the more "events" in people's lives, the less and less time parents have to teach good manners/behavior to their kids...being too busy to bother is a major problem with parents these days...myself included. I do try, however.

Answer 7

Spanking is not abuse in the US and Canada, and is practiced quite a bit in our home. I totally agree about manners, kids these days are lacking quite a bit of old fashioned parenting. Time outs do work, but just for the smaller offenses. You don't want to spank for every offense, shoot, my hand would fall off, lol. You have the right idea though
Lots of love
Lots of discipline, followed up by consequences.

good luck

Answer 8

For everything there is a season...a time for time out and a time to spank. It depends on the child what form of discipline you use. My oldest almost never got spanked. I could use a stern voice or punish him and it worked effectively. My younger child (ADHD) has received more spanking but with him you have to grab him, talk directly to him (in his face), explain the expectation and timeout near me. I don't send him to his room (play land) I sit him near me. With him I have to be consistent, and follow through on my words. If you don't find effective ways to discipline children, they will end up with problems that can include prison.

Answer 9

There are children who are okay with time outs, but then their are those who need a spanking on the butt. Parents are to busy on "self" and making the next dollar that they don't have time for children (not all -- but many). Society is different now and unfortunately kids are basically raising themselves.

Answer 10

Physical abuse is Never the answer, it breeds fear,
Understanding is the only way, and yes, its difficult and time consuming to go this route, but in the end well worth it on there part.

Peace