If your mom did something you can never EVER forgive.........?

Question

Ok, so I was talking to my auntie last night, and she said some things she shouldn't have known about. So I asked her about it and she was like "Uh, lucky guess?" The only person who could have possibly told her this stuff was my mom. So I hacked into my moms e-mail account to see exactly what she was telling people. And I found alot of stuff, horrible horrible things she was saying about me to other people. She e-mailed everyone she knew 20 minutes after I had called her and told her I was raped (two months ago) She said other nasty things like 'I don't know yet, she won't even tell me the details about it. She's being a complete *unt' 'I hate christmas, I can't even imagine this years with how misserable she is' 'Chris and her are both losers, I don't give a *hit about them anymore' And that's only part of it. Chris is my boyfriend of 3 years, and he has been the only one to be 100% supportive of me since day one. I know I was wrong for hacking, but I'm glad I did, cuz now I know

what she says about me behind my back. Do you think I should forgive her? Or will it make me a stronger person to move on? I don't want to forgive her. I was just wondering if people who's parents do this sort of stuff, grow to be stronger, or are *ucked up later on. She makes me feel horrible. I never ever thought my mother would do this to me. I'm 19, not some whiney kid................And alot of the things she said were ALOT worse. I just don't want to post it all.......

Okay, I did this last night, and confronted her about it. She freaked out on me and said she should have privacy to be able to say whatever she wants. Yes she can have privacy, and I told her I felt bad, but she cannot guilt trip me. What she did was even worse. Then my dad took her side. So I left and spent the night with Chris. They think I am the only one sho is wrong here. (Not Chris, he sees it how I do)

My mom does not have drug or alcohol problems. She lives a GREAT life, my dad makes millions a year. They each own their own company. But she slams me down, and makes my sister who is a complee *uck up seem great! I am the first Bartsch in history to ever graduate highschool. She blames me for everything wrong in her life, because she got pregnant in highschool and her family disowned her because she decided to keep me. My mom is not mental...........Just hates me

She also has alot of friends.......I just don't understand why she treats me like this. She hid the fact that my 17 year old sister is pregnant, from me for a month, until it 'slipped' Her life is fantastic, I just don't get why me...........?

I seriously think some of you are retarded, or just don't know how to read. I DID CONFRONT HER! AND I DID TELL HER I HACKED! AND I SAID I DON'T WANT TO FORGIVE HER. I TRIED TO TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN WITH HER THIS MORNING! BUT IT WAS THE SAME SH*T!

Answer 1

i agree with what u did! your her child ......and she trashed you! i would move on but.......id never open up to her again....never trust her again! what you went thru is awful!!!! you told her in "confidence"....not "audiance".......she was so wrong for this,,,,your dad should have been FURIOUSwith her for this...some things you dont discuss outside the family!!!!!!!!!! but use this as a lesson learned.........now you see that she cant be trusted......but you must love her and be her daughter........as you have been....only now you need not to share personal things .dont be bitter......just cautious! respect them as you have ...both your parents.........have you given any thought to you and your boyfriend living together.......?out on your own....?this may help you cope with what your parents did....and help you to not hate so much....some time away.........im sorry but your also supposed to be DADDYS littlePRINCESS,,,,,,his little girl...why was he not furious!!!!!! ill never understand that? i wish you peace....and the very best life has to offer,,.your situation at home pisses me off....sorry. but your his little girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Sounds to me like your mother is the one with the issues hon. And she is in the habit of telling stories to either get attention or gain sympathy from others.

You can do one of two things. You can go back into her emails, print up what you found, confront her saying that your heard rumors and see if she denies them; then throw the proof in her face and tell her that's it, you've had it. Tell her you aren't going to be the blame for her life being the way it is......OR you can go to everyone she sent that email to and tell them how worried you are about your mom. Tell them you've heard she's been saying some very horrible things about you and that you don't understand where it's coming from because none of it is true. Then ask if they've heard anything from her or know if something is wrong with her.

The second of the two choices works wonders. It has all those other people questioning what your mother tells them and they'll take it with a grain of salt from now on, thinking she's nuts. The first choice is only going to have her writing more nasty emails.

It's your mom honey, you know what's best for you. If it's been rocky since day one, it may be time to branch off from mom and move on with life in a new direction with Chris. Life is what we make of it, and although we can't change or alter decisions made for us when we were young, we can change the path of our future.

I wish you a happy ending to your nightmare.

Answer 3

Yes, you have to forgive her, because if you don't it will eat you up inside. Not to mention, Jesus said if we don't forgive others, then God won't forgive us. I would venture to guess that if you saw your mom lying on the side of the road right now, you would stop to help her. To me that would indicate that you have forgiven her even if you don't have much of a relationship right now. We don't stop to help people we hate.

The question here is whether or not this relationship can be restored. Forgiveness takes one - you. Restoration takes all parties involved.

If you confront your mom about what happened- and I think you should after you have calmed down enough not to scream at here while you talk to her- and she sees she was wrong and asks you to forgive her, then your relationship has a chance.

If your mom doesn't think she did anything wrong and doesn't seem to care that she hurt you, then, of course you still forgive her, but there's not much chance for a relationship there.

I hope this helps and I hope it makes sense.

Remember too that when you talk to your mom, you should consider confessing that you hacked into her computer.

Answer 4

Honey, I have one very important sentence for you...STAY AWAY FROM YOUR MOTHER. Any mother that can call her own daughter a loser is not a mother in my book. I have two daughters of my own and even if they made mistake after mistake in thier lives I would never turn my back on them. You dont need anyone in your life that's going to treat you this way or talk about you like this behind your back. I cant see any good from this point on that having a relationship with your mother would benefit you. I feel so sad for you but you really dont need someone like her in your life. Please...for your own good stay far away from her. Not everyone has fairy tale parents and sometimes in order for a person to be healthy and happy you have to cut people like that out of your life. Dont worry about hacking her email...it's better you know her true feelings now so that you cant let her hurt you any longer.

Answer 5

this is a sad situation. some people have it all, money, a husband, work, a family, but they are still not happy. i think you did the right thing, talking to your mom. no matter how horrible your mom acts i think you should forgive her. you have a deep wound that will probably never be healed completly, and it's all your mom's fault. but remember, she is your mom. you should be greatful that you have a mom no matter how bad she acts. i would suggest that your whole family go to church. God can fix anything. your mom wasn't happy, so she talked about you. but god can make her happy. he can make you happy and your dad. just go to church, accept jesus christ, and you will be saved. i garentee that you will feel a great burden lift off of you once you do. your family will be a family once more, what you did in the past will not matter. your mother will accept you, and you will accept your mother. Trust me.

Answer 6

Is it possible your mom has no firends and is lonely? other than the internet?

Does she happen to have drug or alcohol problems?

She's your mom, but it doesn't mean we forgive them..

Try just not discussing any details at all about your life with her.
IF she has to, she'll make **** up and then it will be her who looks like a total fool.

Try not communicating with her for some time and once you establish to her that she's went beyound herself to discuss your personal life, then, maybe, just maybe, she might come to you with an apology.

Answer 7

Reading this brought back a lot of bad memories from my past relationship with my mother. i found out that she is neurotic and very narcisisstic,and this is just my opinion, but it sounds a lot like your mother, it is a way for her to get attention by complaining to others and pointing out your flaws or vulnerabilities. Sometimes even the people we are supposed to be closest with can be toxic to our own mental wellbeing. if being with them makes you feel at all uncomfortable or miserable than sometimes it is better to be away frm them. they blame everybody else for their problems and accept no responsibility for their own actions, but by constantly complaining and talking about others, they get the attention they so desperately crave.

Answer 8

well your mom sounds like my mom.nothing ever good enough.and sister does no wrong when she the bad one.okay here's what i do,ignore her,don't depend on her and if your old enough.move out and don;t look back,people like her will bring you down,and she is just jealous of Chris.he loves you and they don't.don't mean to be harsh.but i also lived this life.and now since I've moved on without my family it's so so much better.and about the rape I'm so sorry .but please make sure you talk about it with someone,b-cus if you don't it will come back to haunt you.take care

Answer 9

my mom is kind of the sameway too that I'll never forgive. all these years she's been trying to turn me against my father by telling me lies but she's my mother. and your mother did the wrong thing too even though wouldn't forgive still she's your mother and you will never forget that. =] wow that's harsh your mom takes it all on you. my mom takes it all on my brothers and me when my mom and dad argue it sucks. hey i think you should forgive her she's your mother and even though she talks bad about you just ignore it.

Answer 10

i had something in common [i wasn't raped] she told everyone a story that i told her and when she left the room i saw her telling EVERYONE! i forgave but what your mom is unbelieveable! if you love her and want to keep in touch talk to her and try to forgive her.