People, do you agree with me?

Question

If you were to carpool with another person (s) would you be on your cell phone talking and letting the other driver get an ear full
of nonsence stuff and lame conversations?
My carpool partner is always on the phone and I can't listen to NPR or music, because "he's on the phone!" and I got tired of listening his "lame conversations" and told this person he was being rude and lack of etiquette on his part. Don't you think I was right to bring this to his attention?.

this person "my co-worker" is always on the phone 24/7!. The people that I work with are fed up with his "non-emergencies" calls, especially the lead, she doesn't have the guts to tell him. And when we go to company related dinners he's on the phone while everybody eats. People give him the stares, but he doesn't seem to get it.

Answer 1

It seems that consideration for your fellow humans is going the way of the dinosaur. I think the biggest culprit is indeed the cellphone.

The problem is that cellphones have given us this sense of personal importance that goes well beyond what is necessary. People have this attitude that they have a cellphone and that means that people who call them on that cell phone are obviously as important as they are and since they also think they are THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD that are so important then everyone else should be fine with it.

What really bothers me is when someone is talking to me, having a conversation and they take a call. I just walk away and if they ask me about it I tell them to leave a message and I will get back to them....

Someone needs to take your co-worker to task on this issue, especially if it is a problem at functions and at work. Perhaps, he doesn't know what a pratt he is being, perhaps if someone told him that he is NOT the most important person in the world and no amount of public cellphone conversations will convince ANYONE of that, maybe he would at least have the decency to do it in private.

I have to say honestly, the only way I have found to make these people stop is to embarrass them beyond all reason, it is usually the only thing that makes most people act like humans again...

GOOD LUCK!!!

*ps.. you could just shove the phone somewhere on or ... um IN his person.. LOL ... I mean that WOULD solve the problem and no doubt be a great deal of fun... ;)

Answer 2

Yes he is being rude, but whether you were right depends on how you told him. If you said it the way you put it in your question, then you were as rude as he and thus as wrong as he. If you sat down with him and politely explained that when he was on the phone in a small area like a car with you you couldn't help but hear his conversation and this makes you uncomfortable. That you would appreciate him saving his phone conversations until you were not with him. Then you were right to bring this to his attention. If you are in your car go ahead and turn on the radio. If he objects because he can't hear the person he's on the phone with tell him it will have to wait til he gets to work. If you are in his car, find a different carpool partner ...talking on the phone and driving at the same time is dangerous.

Answer 3

Yes, I believe you are right. First of all, if it is not a hands free phone, he is breaking the law and putting everyone in the car at risk of an accident, if he is driving. Also, it is just plain rude. I have been in restaurants and other people are on the phone disrupting your meal and airing their dirty laundry in public. The is nothing wrong with telling a person that a short call once in a while is OK, but not all the time. A friend of mine had a similar problem. He got the persons cell phone number and then started to call him, make funny noises and then hang up. But, he said before you do that, you must dial *67 so your called ID does not show up.

Answer 4

It depends on who is driving. If he's driving, the issue should be about your safety and not your boredom. Call attention to THAT.

If you're driving, turn on the music. He's rude if he asks you not to do so because he's on the phone. As for listening to his conversations and calling them "lame"....that's not for you to determine. Having the music on will aid you in not having to hear his conversations.

Carpools are a means of getting to work, not necessarily an opportunity to bond with the car's occupants. What you do and how you spend that time is an issue only if you're the driver OR if it's hazardous to the rest of the occupants. Talking on a cell phone isn't hazardous if you're the passenger. Expecting the driver to accommodate your phone calls is inconsiderate at best. Let him know that.

Answer 5

This person could care less about your comfort and security. You were right to be direct, but your comments must be kept in a businesslike manner, simply state that the arrangement is not working out and judge their reaction. If there is no sign of interest, terminate your arrangement in a polite manner. Your comfort and security are much more important than a few gallons of gas. Advertise for a new carpool partner.

Answer 6

I agree with Songbird (as would Miss Manners).

Telling people they are rude (even when they are) is itself rude, not to mention ineffective.

The way to bring the problem to his attention is to link your ability to drive safely with his distracting phone conversations, or to mention that you feel uncomfortable hearing so much about his personal life -- something that motivates him to stop.

The main thing is to put it on yourself; this is more likely to get compliance.

Or, you could simply say that the car-pooling is not working out for you. If he asks why, explain that you really need to use that time to listen to the radio, and that, since he objects to this, it's better for the two of you to dissolve the carpooling relationship.

Then it's up to him whether to find another ride or stop talking or the phone, or live with your radio-listening.

It's amazing that someone with authority over him at work won't enforce the idea that work is for doing work, and that he isn't being paid to conduct personal business. Another way for that person to approach him would be to explain that his conversations are distracting everyone else, and preventing them from working.

At social functions, moving away from the talker, leaving him alone with his phone is best. Or being so noisy that he moves away from you -- if he expects everyone at his table to be silent while he talks, suggest he step away while on the phone, as the purpose of the function is for you all to socialize with each other.

Answer 7

Yes, I think you're right. You're sharing space, and if his constant cellphone chatter makes you feel slighted or violated, he should know. Personally, I can't stand it when people talk out loud when using their cellphones, especially when you're in a social situation that calls for some sort of personal interaction. Since you're carpool partners he should at least maintain a level of civility towards you and other people in the carpool, and I don't think he can do that if his cellphoneis constantly glued to his ear.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

First get a new rider, and as far as the company goes they need to have a rule no cell phones on the job. People are there to work not take personal calls.

Answer 10

This is a person who wasn't taught even basic manners. You're right, and if it's your car, tell him, you're sorry, you're going to listen to music...he can hold his call till later and do it on company time till the boss gets tired of it and fires him.