Middle child syndrome - middle children answer please?

Question

I recently watched a program on MCS and a lot of it rang true for me. I'm not saying I have it harder than everyone, that'd be a lie, but I certainly feel that my brother and sister get more attention. Right from the beginning, my brother could of course talk before me, and he woulve had a yr of attention without anyone else around. then my little sister, 7yrs younger than me, got tons of attention because my brother and I were a lot more independant then.

It always seems unfair to me, because my brother feels he's the most experienced, because he's the oldest (only by a yr, mind,) which is frustrating, and I also lost the 'baby' status after 7yrs of feeling like I had my role as the youngest.

My parents are friends with my brother and sisters friends' parents etc, and remember all their achievements, but they cant even remember my friends names!

:( Does anyone else feel like this?

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel. It used to bother me a lot when I was a child. My older sister was a straight A student and my younger brother was a great athlete. I was the bratty middle child who had no self confidence and not a lot of friends. As I grew older though, I realized that I was stronger than my siblings because of my MCS. I was more independent, could spend time by myself and be happy, and it took a lot of hard work to find a career that I really loved. When I hit my stride, I made better grades than my sister, without trying as hard as she did, and I found my own athletic talent as a cross country runner. You have to look for the things that make you special. They do exist. It may take you longer to find them, but you will love them all the more for it. Think of it this way. If you hadn't gone through all of the things that you have, you wouldn't be the person you are today. This means a lot and you are special. I hope this helps you because as you grow older, it won't matter a bit about your being a middle child. You will probably be the link that keeps you and your siblings close to each other.

Answer 2

Honey, I'm the 3rd of 5, and I feel your pain, but you don't have to let this continue. Seriously. There are alot of benefits of being the middle child and maybe you should start focusing on them, rather than everything that completely stinks about being the midde child.

For instance, you may be second in line to your brother, but you are the older sister. Being second in line and not last on the list also means that you get to fly under the radar of mom and dad, which we all know, can sometimes be a really cool thing. Even when you get older. Parents are and can be over whelming to the oldest child placing so many demands on them to set good examples and push them to do their best. And with the "baby" of the family, mom and dad tend to dote on them and often end up interferring with their lives at one point or another because they've realized they've "babied" them just a little too much and now feel the need to fix it. But middle children have proven to be more independent, self suffient, and fair better in the long run. Being stuck in the middle has taught us compromise, acceptance, patience and the knowledge that no matter how bad it seems, it could always be worse. With this line of thinking, we get further in life, we often end up happier and we accomplish what we set out to do.

There are hundreds of books written about this theory, some of them are outright insane, but some of them are pretty informative and seem to get it (they were probably written by a middle child). And if this is of little interest to you, you can always go the manipulative route. Tell mom and dad how they are making you feel, demand some of that attention and out of guilt, they'll give it....just be careful what you wish for honey...ask your siblings...it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Answer 3

Oh god, I know exactly how you feel. I come from a family of 5. Theres Tina and Tom, who are 11 years old than me. I have an older brother Michael, who is a year old than me then I am a twin, with my brother Matt. I was born 1st and Matt's the baby. Since Tina and Tom where much older, it was basically mike, me and matt. Mike got all the attention because he was the oldest out of us three. He excelled in every sport so that meant we were forced to attend every game he had. Now, even though Matt and I are twins, Matt received much more attention than I did. Matt was terrible in school, so my parents gave him lots of attention. Which is understandable but I was jealous. Matt was awesome at skateboarding and he loved to work with my dad so that is how he got his attention. And then there was me, the middle child. I excelled in school, I was a straight A student with high honors every semester, with awards from the principal and everything, but they didn't show that they cared. They wouldn't even come to my ceremony when I go the award for being the best student in the grade.

So, trust me when I say I know how it feels. We are 18 and Michael will be 20 in a couple of months. And I am still treated like crap. Because Michael has a full time job and he is such a great man. Matt gets all the attention because he isn't going to school or working, so he gets babied, for doing nothing. And there is still me, who is a full time college student, and no one even cares.


Good luck my friend, it sure sucks!

Answer 4

I was the fifth of six children, I know how you feel, I never got the attention I was looking for. I am a better person now though. I now have three children and I try very hard to give my middle child the attention she deserves. My oldest is very smart, but she always gets into trouble for not watching what her sisters are doing. The youngest one is cute and is still a baby so needs plenty of attention, she has her moments of trouble. My middle girl, seems like she is always getting into trouble, but I try to avoid giving more attention to the others without giving plenty to her. Good luck.

Answer 5

I have an older sister(2years). My mother and father gave her a lot of attention because she was an accomplished pianist and singer. she sang at daddy's church. She was the golden girl. My brother is 7 years younger. since he was the only boy he really got a lot of attention.

This caused me to be outgoing because I needed to feel that someone liked me. Before mom died I asked her why I didn't get any attention. She said I didn't need it. Sure I was validated by the community, but not my family.

Middle child syndrome is REAL!

Answer 6

I have an older Bro and a lil Bro and a lil Sis. My older Bro is older by 2 years.....

I did feel that I wasn't loved or as important as my other siblings, but as my lil sibs grew up (lil Sis is now 6) my Mom did start paying more attention to me because she doesn't have to spend every single second with the little ones.

In time your parents will spend more time with you, and if you can't wait that long then tell your parents how you feel. Tell them that you want to spend more time together just you and your parents.

Good luck, hope everything works out for you! =D

Answer 7

i'm now an person so can bear in mind as a toddler, and likewise the way it impacted me. a million./ would nevertheless prefer to be center, next selection, the youngest 2./ now - confident, then - no. 3./ No. 4./ 3 sibs - 2 older, a million youthful 5./ self sustaining & self sustaining, non judgemental ( i think of very open minded.), clever and industrious. 6./ procrastinator, dreamer, .. 7./ now, very nicely. they admire me very plenty. 8./ i became conscious they favoured my different sibs. I did experience slighted maximum of my existence growing to be up as they gave interest, compliment to the youngest and the oldest. 9./ no longer in my case. I felt like an "auxillary toddler" yet never neglected or forgotten, only no longer as considerable growing to be up because of the fact the different 2. ( I proportion center spot so a minimum of I wasn't on my own!)

Answer 8

i do and i'm still trying to deal with it. my parents always deem my brother or sister's events more important than my plays or recitals. it drives me nuts that they don't pay attention to me.