we have been together for 7 months. we have had sex only 3 times. i just don't get anything out of it. he is an extermely great guy and he is not ugly at all. should i leave him in hopes i can find someone i am sexually attracted to. i am afraid that i will never find a guy as great as he is. he is truely one of the good guys. i love him i am just not in love with him. ???
2006-11-18 02:22:39 · 21 answers · asked by SUE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no.
love is not sex.
sex is not love.
yes, you love him, you just don't want the sex.
and to be quite frank, that's his fault.
so yes, stay with him, and if you feel open to it,
talk with him about it, what could he do for you which would make you well... want to have sex with him?
2006-11-18 02:24:45 · answer #1 · answered by The greatest and the best. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, I'm not a supportor of sex before marriage. However, I am also not a supporter of people who throw in the sack everytime things get a little bumpy. There could be a lot of reasons why you aren't enjoying sex. Maybe you're just not a very sexual person... some people don't want sex all the time. If you really think your boyfriend is a great guy, I wouldn't leave him just because the sex is no good. If that's what is most important to you, then sure.. but I doubt you're that shallow. There are always things you can do to enhance your sex life. If you've only had sex three times, then you can't have had much time to talk about what you enjoy, what turns you on, etc. I wouldn't ditch him without first talking to him, explaining what you need, and giving him the chance to try.
2006-11-18 10:35:22 · answer #2 · answered by deepwaters05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you say "i love him i am just not in love with him" sounds your confused about what love really means, you equate love with performance inside the bedroom. If you leave the guy because he is not good or physically attractive on the sexual side means you didn't really love him at all. Well the best thing for you the do know is choose if you want a guy who is going to make you feel emotionally and spiritually happy or a stud muffin who's going to treat you like a one night-er after you both are finished having sex.
2006-11-18 10:36:58 · answer #3 · answered by macky boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats pretty tough. You should discuss the situation with him. If you have only had sex 3 times in 7 months, he probably knows as well as you that there is a problem in the relationship, and maybe if the two of you sit down and have an open dialog, you can both move on and still remain friends without anyones feelings getting crushed.
2006-11-18 10:29:28 · answer #4 · answered by wyomingpoet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we misinterpret a strong connection to another person as Love. We love tuna, the dog, the color green, and our partner. We have an intimate realtionship with a lover.
Exclusive relationships have sex as the bond. This seals the friendship and mutual trust and respect and brings the relationship to a higher level. I think you misinterpreted a great relationship for an exclusive relationship. Keep him as a good friend. Wish him all the best and happiness sincerely, and then seek out a man you desire.
2006-11-18 11:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt waist anymore time but think things thriugh well and take action. Just because you love someone, does not mean you have to be with them. There are many people in your life that you will love. I would be open with him and break it off on good terms if possible. He sounds like a great friend. unconciously, you probably arent that into him. You dont want to wait and then look back and realize how much time you have waisted or grow a hate or anger towards him. You are on his time too.
2006-11-18 10:33:31 · answer #6 · answered by louise23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read once somewhere that "A good relationship is not based on sex... but ain't much with out it either". I don't completely agree but I understand this comment.Try to find other ways of increasing sexual pleasure with him, if that doesn't work be honest to him about how you feel and end the relationship on a good note.
2006-11-18 12:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by mslilbit24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to love someone for who they are, but it's obvious that you don't feel right being with him. There has to be strong, wild attraction for the best (sexual) relationship. Sex isn't everything but it's a huge bonus! If you stay with him, do you think in the future you may be tempted to cheat? Follow your heart and always be happy :}
2006-11-18 10:32:26 · answer #8 · answered by MedeivelReign 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well girl... u may be gay and u just don't realize it... if is a great guy and good looking as u say he is, it's not possible u don't have a sex thing for him... unless u are gay... u can try to define your sexuality by thinking if u had any pleasure at all when u had sex with him. are u sexually attracted by other guys at least?
2006-11-18 10:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by Paolo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell you to leave him or to stay with him - that's in yourself to decide, but if you are looking to have a long relationship and to eventually maybe settle down with him, this will become a major factor. The most important things are sex, communication and trust. Good luck!
2006-11-18 10:26:47 · answer #10 · answered by Xplicit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
could be you aren't emotionally ready to have sex with him. once you get closer emotionally, then sex will feel right when you are both ready for it..
sex shouldn't be the prime motivator in a relationship anyway..
but if you feel sex is more important than love and all the other things, then break up with him before you hurt him more..
2006-11-18 10:30:31 · answer #11 · answered by Jeff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋