This was late at night and then she called him. When I confronted her about it she lied about it it. She later admitted she had called him but only got a answering machine. She said it was nothing. She said she was curious about what happened to him and if he had a woman now. I don't know what to think other than I don't think it's so innocent. She said I shouldn't have been checking on her. She had a change in behavior just before this. She started spending a lot more time on the internet so I knew something was up. Is this innocent or was it her first attempt to cheat?
2006-11-18 02:04:01 · 15 answers · asked by Mike R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Listen, I think right now is the time to evaluate your relationship. Take a step back and look to see if you are BOTH happy. Whether or not she was getting ready to cheat is beside the point, what you have to be sure of is that she had no DESIRE to cheat. Why would she be curious about another man if she is perfectly happy and satisfied with you?
My suggestion would be to talk to her. Ask her point blank (and calmly, very calmly) why she would WANT to look up her ex. And follow it up with - are you happy with US? If her answer is no, the two of you need to work on that together. Maybe if you show her how much you care about HER, she won't go looking for something to fill the hole.
If none of that works...well...did you choose the right wife?
Good luck.
2006-11-18 02:11:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know when something is wrong in your relationship.. I would say innocent except you did mention spending more time on the internet. You have to decide whether or not to trust her really. It could just be that she was wondering what her life would have been like if she had stayed with him and just a case of what ifs. I mean if everything else has been okay then you should be fine. Make an attempt to talk to her without accusing.
Although when people say you shouldnt have been checking up on me, they do have something to hide. Go with your gut feeling thats all you can do.
2006-11-18 02:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by Perplexed 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
definite i ought to evidently your spouse has never gotten over this guy and is likely thinking an affair with him he's likewise under no circumstances gotten over her the sentiments are mutual the following and which skill worry. you want to confront her about this e-mail and ask her what she is doing talking to an previous flame?. She is disrespecting you and doubtlessly breaking the vows of marriage. that is faulty if the tables were became I doubt she ought to experience good about you e-mail an previous lady friend. get to the bottom of this if she is gloomy interior the marriage then you actually want some counselling and time to be certain out recommendations on the thanks to revive this. Her no longer telling you her ex. BF lives in this new city is really suspicious?. i should be pissed if I had got here upon this information out. She is being very secretive and that is one element you're literally not think to have in marriage is secret is. God Bless and proper desires.
2016-10-16 09:29:30 · answer #3 · answered by nelems 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's probably not "attempting to cheat," but that doesn't mean she won't. I'd look at it as something lacking in your marriage. Otherwise, why would she be interested in looking up old boyfriends? Instead of accusing her (which will drive her away), talk to her. Ask her if there's something missing in your relationship. Sometimes the internet (dangerous thing) can fill a need that's not being addressed. Show interest in fixing whatever it is, on your part or on hers.
As for lying, if she caught you looking up old girlfriends, wouldn't you lie at first? And what would compell you to look up an old girlfriend? It is probably the same thing that is motivating her.
Good luck!
2006-11-18 02:10:31 · answer #4 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow something bigger is going on beneath the surface of all this. I think perhaps she is wondering what if.... What would have happened if things had worked out with him.. And does she still have a chance with him, where is he now.. Sounds to me like she was really hunting on the internet to find him... That is very concerning. Especially since she is lying about it. There is something that made her feel she needed to reach out to him and you need to sit down and have a serious talk with her. No accusations just tell her you need to know what is really going on. She owes you an honest explanation. I hope that its just a lilttle curiosity and not more, but you deserve to be more than a second choice. She vowed for better or worse, not for better or if my ex becomes available...
2006-11-18 02:09:46 · answer #5 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Trust her, until you have a definate reason not to. Give her the benefit of the doubt. My husband and his ex girlfriend still talk and so do I and my ex boyfriend.
It very well could have been that she was just curious. Sometimes we like to "go back" and check things out. There's no harm in that. She probably lied about it, because she got busted and wasn't sure how to explain herself.
LIke I said, trust her, until you have given proof not to.
2006-11-18 02:07:39 · answer #6 · answered by jarheadwife 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It means that you are not treating her as well as he used to.
If this is the case than do the math he treated her beter than you and she didn't stay with him!! but now she has found out that she could and has done alot worse. and if he treated her beter it seems she wants to feel special the way she used to feel with him. She finaly realised what you have known all along. that you don't deserve a woman like her because you clearly don't know what to do with a woman of her status.
2006-11-18 02:27:04 · answer #7 · answered by Chillypepers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes they can be just friends, and sometimes they are cheating. Have a talk with her, like over dinner or something. Or hook up another telephone to the line (dont let her know) and sneak in on their conversations. Try not to breath when you sneak on the phone. Listen to it, and act like everyhting is normal. Or you can give her so much extra attention that she will completely forget about him. Try these. they should work.
2006-11-18 02:10:08 · answer #8 · answered by ????????? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It was not innocent. Im not saying she was about to cheat, but I am saying what she did was disrepectful and inconsiderate. For her to try and put it on you by saying you shouldnt have been checking on her doesnt make it sound good. Thats the trait of a liar.
2006-11-18 02:07:49 · answer #9 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would ask her how she would feel in the she caught you calling your ex. Then explain to her that her lying about the call gives you more reason to not trust her while on the Internet. Then give her some room to think about her feelings.
2006-11-18 02:11:24 · answer #10 · answered by ccholmes2 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋