my 3yr-old daughter is very naughty,she back chats me all the time and smacks and bites her little sister .?

Question

im not sure what 2 do...i put her in her room and she still plays me up.the naughtey step dont work any ideas??

Answer 1

Include her in the stuff you do more. You're giving her less attention than ou're giving the baby and she's resentful. She's 3 and can't handle not being the center of attention any longer.

Answer 2

Very very few children have psychological problems at this age. I wouldn't advise you take her to a counsellor unless you want a lifetime of problems with her.
The naughty step is a good technique and will work, but when you see it on TV it is much easier for the parents to do because there is a professional child psycologist in the room at the same time telling them what to do.
Basically what has happened is your daughter has realised that she gets attention for being bad. You need to start rewarding her when she's good and disciplining her at the first sign of naughtiness. That way she is punished and ignored (ie on the naughty step for 3 minutes) before she has had a chance to work up a tantrum and will calm down again much faster. At the same time she is learning that she can get attention for being good. If the naughty "step" isn't working, try somewhere else, eg the naughty beanbag, or the naughty room (maybe the dining room).
What you need to be doing is re-educating her. If this is more than you can handle, try your local social services. They probably run parenting classes where a professional can give you advice.
Please bear in mind if you are in UK: spanking is against the law and in the end you are only teaching her that she'll get her own way by hitting someone. You might even make her more aggressive towards her sister. Don't descend to her level. YOU are the adult and should remain calm and not lash out - verbally or physically.

Answer 3

Be firm, calm, and mean what you say. Punish her to the breaking point for her, not you! Biteing and fighting is really bad!
You don't have to beat the kid into submission, I think spanking is the last resort. Just let her know that bad behavior has bad consequences. She may be acting out, only wanting your attention. Take away toys, TV, etc, and seperate her from the others for a long time and make her apoligize. If she won't submit, spank her. You must break her now!
I don't know your situation, but in today's working families, we don't get to spend enough quality time with the little ones.
Don't let her see that her behavior upsets you in any way. She will push those buttons for the rest of your life if you get upset each time she has an episode.
You 'd better stop to this behavior now, or you'll have this behavior in some form from now on.

Answer 4

I had this with one of my children when they were about your daughter's age. Now he is 11 years old and is totally brilliant at school. The bad news is that he is now as he was then a nightmare to control.He has been diagnosed with ADHA, aspurges syndrome and has no friends because he has no social skills. His handwriting is to die for, pure art in it'sown way. He is rude, gropes strange women in the street, swears and everybody, spits and assaults the teachers and my wife. His reasoning skills are staggering, you will never win an argument with him. He is a vicious bully a theif and a vandal. he is a great manipulator and can be kind and loving - to ket his own way. If he doesn't he trashes the place. His greatest pleasure is anoying people, he stands in front of the TV when it is being watched. interupts constantly. He opens everyones mail and reads it .

Please please please get help, before your daughter turns out like my son. It is very early days and the child guidance service and school phyciatrist will tell you that it is just a phase and fob you off. This type of child takes up too much time and money and they all want a quick fix to keep up their statistics.

If your daughter is clever, kind, obedient and sweet when you are alone with her and give her your 100% attention but noisy, aggressive and naughty when you are attending to someone or something else. GET HELP NOW. Does she hate going to sleep, she's afraid that she may miss something. Does she sometimes look to see if you are watching before doing something naughty and sometimes be incredibly sneaky.

She probably feels that she si threatened by her sibling, that she has to share her Mum with another and punishes her for taking your attention away from her.

I really hope that I'm wrong. Get help and don't take no for an answer. I didn't get help soon enough and life is tough for my son of his family. He is exhausting

Incidently my other kids are normal well adjusted individuals.

Answer 5

Was your 3 year old okay before her sister was born?

Could it be that she is jealous of her sister?

Are you paying enough attention to your 3 year old?

Make sure you spend quality time alone with 3 year old. Set out a daily regular time to bond (again!) with her. Play games, sing songs, let her comb your hair. Anything she'll enjoy to boost her confidence and reassure her she's still loved and wanted.

Loudly praise any thing she does that is good. Reward her (with a hug, applause, tickles, snuggly kisses, gold stars on a chart with the days of the week on it) and remind her why she's being rewarded.

Tell her that if she keeps being good, she'll got lots more.

Try to ignore her bad behaviour or distract her from it. When you tell her off, don't shout, speak clearly and quietly, squatting down to her level so you are both eye to eye to make sure she looks at you and understands what you're saying.

Basically, children learn that when they play up they always get attention, even if that attention is a hard slap! Strange but true.

She needs to understand that her parents still lover her, even though there is another child competing for the same affection.

There's a programme on TV called "Supernanny". A no-nonsense woman goes from home to home helping parents who's children have got completely out of hand.

Perseverance is key, do your utmost to spread your love evenly between the children. They pick up on the most minute of things even if we don't realise we're even doing it.

Try searching online for tips on parenting, or obtain books.

Good luck.

Answer 6

i went on a course called the webster-stratton parenting course. it was brill works wonders with the little ones.get a book called the incredible years. by carolyn webster-stratton, published by umbrella press. you can go to the library and get it if you cant afford to buy one. I'm not sure how much it costs as i got given my when i completed the course. good luck. top tip ignore the bad , reward the good and put the child out of harms way when it bites etc. make sure you tell the child the house rules and get them to understand that you only tolerate good and kind children and that if they wish to carry on then there are consequences for not obeying etc. time out is only ment for them to calm down and think, never put them in time out for more than 5 Min's?
one of the things i was taught is the more attention you give the bad stuff they do the more you will get it. its time to ignore the bad(within reason?) praise up the good all tha time. read the book or ask you h/v or doc to get you on the course.

Answer 7

Tell her that it is not okay to hit or bite. Buy a bean bag and have her sit in it whenever she disobeys. Don't argue with her if she tries to throw a tantrum or starts screaming. The more attention you give to her acting out the more she will learn that that is the only way to get moms attention. What I do with my daughter is distract her and tell her that its time to eat and then we are going to the park. She might be feeling some resentmen towards your stepchild because she wants to be the baby still. She might feel that she needs more of your attention. Treat them equally and if you reward your step child reward your daughter. If your daughter does something wrong don't compare her to your step child. Realize that she is going through a phase right now and you have to keep your cool. Good luck

Answer 8

I have had this same problem after my 2 step children moved in...We now have 5 children ranging from 3-9....I implemented a chore chart with "Have to free chores" and ones that they can earn $ for...(Starting at 10 cents) The 3 year old (Who is also Autistic) and the 4 year old had the SAME issues. I started teaching them responsibility and rewards...I alowed the 4 year old to help me unload the dishwasher, he also takes out the bathroom garbage...Now he sees his spending money increase. He puts 1/2 in a savings jar and spends the rest. I also typed up a disipline page and hung it beside the chore chart...If he backtalks I make HIM remove 10 cents and put iot back in my bag. It only took a few times of losing money to realize his actions. I take each one by theirself to spend their money at the end of the month. Not only am I teaching value of hard work but I also am allowing for growth in personal dicision making. This also allows me extra 1 on 1 time with each child. I never force the extra chores...I do however make them do their free ones (Make bed, put up shoes...) This has helped so much. When u spend time 1 on 1...U get a long way! Good Luck...

Answer 9

I'd watch a few old episodes of supernanny. the naughty step never works for the parents once supernanny goes away, but then she comes back and tells them where they're going wrong and then it all falls into place. For instance you might not be giving your daughter a warning first, or getting her to cuddle you once she's done time out. Apparently these little techniques have a massive effect on whether the naughty step thing works or not.

Answer 10

The fact she has a little sister is significant at her age. She may be acting out to get attention as she is feeling displaced! She is very young to spank though at age three she should be able to see the relationship between a spanking and her behaviour (cause and effect). On the other hand spanking may make her even more aggressive! I would focus on giving her attention for good behaviour and re-enforce her for being the eldest child.

Answer 11

Be constant in giving her time out...does she have toys in her room? If she does she probaly doesnt care thats where she goes she needs to be put somewhere with no sidetracks where she has to think about what she did.Dont react when she whines thats the part she wants....however do put some time in your day aside where you can have some one on one time with her ...it might be she is helping peel carrots or washing dishes even little kids love to do grown up things and have responsibility. Make sure you praise her like crazy when she is doing the right thing and like i said be consistant with the time out it doesnt matter where you are.The 20 mins a day shows her that you have time to chat with her about some nice stuff that has happened through the day while you do something together...good luck