2006-11-18 00:44:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
"I will restore honor and integrity to the White House."
-- President George W. Bush
2006-11-18 00:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by Didgeridude 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Scotsman,Englishman and Irishman on a trip through the desert when their jeep brakes down,right everyone says the Englishman we all need to grab something that will be some help and we'll have to start walking.Englishman grabs the bottles of water,Scotsman grabs the food and the Irishman pulls the jeep door off tucks it under his arm and starts walking.After a while the Scotsman says right,l took the food so we can eat when we get hungry,the Englishman took water for when we get thirsty then turns to the Irishman and asks,what the hell did you take the car door for?Irishman replys,well!if we get too hot least l can wind the window down!!!
2006-11-18 09:20:11 · answer #2 · answered by Jacqui 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some years before the gulf war ,a female journalist did a story on gender roles in Kuwait. she noted that it was customary for women to walk 10 paces behind there menfolk.
after the war,she returned to Kuwait and was pleased to see that the roles had reversed,and men were now walking 10 paces behind the women. She approached one of the women and asked ,What enabled Kuwaiti wome. to achieve this new status? the woman replied "Land mines".
2006-11-18 09:16:25 · answer #3 · answered by wozza.lad 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know an unbelievably funny joke,, Unfortunately, it contains a particular race of people, and mentions god, the realm, describes someones attire, looks at a particular skin type, and is about a woman.
As i don't want to be accused of racism, blasphemy, bigotry, sexism, and treason, i cant tell you it. Sorry
2006-11-18 09:16:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this one is for all Sherlock Holmes and Watson fans out there.
Once Holmes and Watson go on a camping trip. They take with them all the necessary things required like a tent, foodstuffs etc. After some fishing and hiking, they decide to tuck in for the night.
Suddenly at night, Watson is awakened in the midst of the night by a frantic Holmes.Says Holmes, "Look up into the sky Watson, shat do you see?"
Watson replies, "The sky?"
"What else?" asks Holmes
"The stars," says the confused Watson
"So what do you conclude?" asks the frantic genius.
"That the sky is very beautiful," says his sidekick
"No you fool, OUR TENT HAS BEEN STOLEN."
2006-11-18 09:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by theallknowingguy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A cowboy rides up to a Saloon, goes inside and orders a drink.
He's just about got the glass of whiskey to his lips, when a guy comes running up to the door, and yells "Hey Joe! Your house is burnin!"
The man leaps up, runs out and jumps on his horse just as he thinks "Hey, I don't have a house."
He goes back in and sits down, and raises the glass to his lips again. Just then a man comes running up to the door and yells, "Hey Joe! Your dad has died!"
So he leaps up, runs out, gets on his horse and starts to head down the street when he thinks, "Wait a minute ... my dad died years ago."
He goes back to the bar, and sure enough, he's just about to take a sip of his whiskey when another guys runs up. "Joe! Congratulations! You've won the lottery! There's a pile of money waiting for you down at the post office!"
The cowboy gets up, leaps on the horse, and starts flying towards the post office. He almost gets there when he thinks, "Hey, wait a minute. My name ain't Joe..."
2006-11-18 09:56:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There were these two guys, and they find a well. wanting to know how deep it is, the one guy chucks a rock in. the rock falls and falls, but he doesn't hear any noise, so he chucks in a bigger rock. "Hey buddy!" he says to the other guy, "check this out!" and chucks in another rock. "cool!" the second guy says. "lets try something bigger!" so they start chucking stuff in. they start with stones, move on to sticks and branches, and finally they chuck in the biggest tree they can find. then, they wait for a noise. there's no noise, but pretty soon they see a goat come running down the path to the well. it's running so fast, you almost can't see it's legs. When it reaches the well, it just up and jumps in. eventually, they decide they're not gonna hear anything, and leave. pretty soon, they meet a farmer. the farmer says to them: " have you guys seen a goat around here?" "Yeah," answers the first man. "Just a little while ago, a goat jumped down the well back there." "Oh," says the farmer dimisively, "that can't be my goat. I tied my goat to a big tree."
2006-11-18 09:02:53 · answer #7 · answered by png_pyro 1 · 2⤊ 3⤋
whats the last thing that goes through a cats mind after being hit by a car 60ks and hour?
its asshole
2006-11-18 08:48:49 · answer #8 · answered by missmiss 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
2006-11-18 11:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here's the joke:
A blond girl, the pope, and a prime minister walk into a bar and say ouch.
2006-11-18 08:48:13 · answer #10 · answered by Tom 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
What goes ha ha ha crash? A man laughing his head off!
2006-11-18 09:21:19 · answer #11 · answered by chutney 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋