My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. In the first 3 years, he was very abusive. He decided that he wasn't going to abuse me anymore and so far, he's done a good job. Also, there are countless of incidents that happened during our relationship where one would say to themselves, "Damm, they're still together after that happened?" It's like, after all the painful times we've been through, we've managed to stick together. And now that he's not abusing me, I'm just loving every moment with him. But the problem is this: WE HATE EACH OTHER. I haven't told him that but he tells me, along with other painful phrases. It's like this. In one hand, I realize how much of a great guy he really truly is and for that, I dont want to leave him because I'm afraid I won't find a good person like him again. And the other hand, he drives me crazy and I start to think like, I'm missing out big time and I just want to get away from him. I really love this man. I'm lost! Should I stay or go?
2006-11-18 00:05:57 · 11 answers · asked by My Kitten Concern 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sweetie, just because he isn't physically abusing you doesn't mean he's not still abusing you. He's traded in the fists for emotional abuse. That's what he's doing when he tells you he hates you and other hurtful things. You need to get out of that relationship as soon as you can. get yourself into some counseling so you understand why you chose to be with an abuser, and move on. I understand completely where you're coming from, I've been there. Since I've gone to counseling and stuff, I've come to understand myself so much better. You will, too. When you do, it will help you choose a different type of guy.....one that won't abuse you. I've finally found my Mr. Right, and you will, too. You just need to get out of this relationship. Email me if you want to talk some more. I'm a good listener :)
2006-11-18 00:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A great guy?! A great guy wouldnt abuse you physically or emotionally. You will find a good guy out there that doesnt abuse you if you decide to leave him. Love shouldn't hurt and anyone who hits or causes physical or emotional harm to someone does not really love that person. Just because he does not abuse you now, does not mean that one day, he gets pissed off at you for something stupid, he won't hurt you. If you truly love yourself and want better, leave while you can. Anyone that abuses a girlfriend does not really love them and is just playing mind games. Has he ever told you that you wont find a good man like him if you leave? If so, then, he probably has said it so many times that you are now believing it. If you really love him like you say, what do you love about him? Do you love being hit, kicked, punched, ect? Do you love being called names? You really need to do some soul searching? If I were you, get out fast before you end up getting hurt again, the next time it may be worse. You could end up in the hospital, or your family could be planning your funeral? I'm not trying to scare you but I've seen it happen? Love yourself first, you don't need to be in a relationship with someone that you hate or that hits you. He's not a real man if he has to stoop to hitting you.
2006-11-18 08:18:05 · answer #2 · answered by kerrberr95 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i suggest thinking about it before you do anything. none of us can tell you anything, you say you love him and that is a big step. i would suggest telling him that you two need a break. like in the case of the abuse, he stopped for some reason, so he must love you too. a break would be good to get some perspective, and if you realized you made a mistake, it won't be too late.
2006-11-18 08:21:47 · answer #3 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love/hate realtionships aren't good for anyone.and if you have to question your relationship then i'd say it's time to step back.take a real close look then run......he can't be that GOOD if he verbally /phsy abuses you..and trust me once they hit you it will happen again...may take a while but it'll happen.trust me...been there done that.......thats not love.you just sounds like you don't wanna be alone.....there's someone for everyone and i don't think he's for you
2006-11-18 08:15:49 · answer #4 · answered by solsbj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that you have better things to do,then fight or hear I hate you and stupid remarks like that,I say leave.I am sure you will find another man greater than him,that will love u and say it everyday instead of I hate you!,good luck!
2006-11-18 08:09:01 · answer #5 · answered by KaeyKaey52 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell him about the problem. anyways u have been with him 3 years, and he has changed for you
then why cant u? if Ill leave him later you may repent in life.
2006-11-18 08:27:47 · answer #6 · answered by vaishnavi w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is sooooooo obvious!!! You should run!! He may not abuse you physically but mentally he IS. There is no difference n i doubt he will ever change.
2006-11-18 08:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
should go. he abused you why the hell did you stay. you shoulda walked about 3 years ago. leave now.
2006-11-18 08:08:24 · answer #8 · answered by question man 911 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many times are you going to list this same question.
Already answered it once.
Read it!
2006-11-18 08:28:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and leave him
2006-11-18 08:08:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋