I have this annoying 3rd aunt who keeps criticizing about her nieces and sister-in-laws (whoever gains weight or whoever is thinner than her). My sister, mother and I are always targeted by her and made fun of in front of everybody. Actually, my sister and i are not overweight, just normal weight with just a little bit of plumpness. Everytime there is family gathering, she will make fun of us that we are fat just like my mother, and everyone would laugh at us. I had to keep a cool face outside, but inside, i was and still am furious! I just cannot stand that she always thinks that she herself is perfect and keeps comparing herself to whoever female relatives who are fatter or thinner than her. Base on my own experiences and many studies, it is known that this kind of mokery and criticizings is extremely detrimental to young ladies' self-esteem. I really do not wish anyone in my family to be bullied by her again. Are there any ways to deal with her? Help please??? sob... ...
2006-11-17 21:38:42 · 10 answers · asked by Daffodil 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think the next time she tries this, you should smile and say"Dear Auntie-how kind of you to notice.I hope it has occurred to you I might lose weight, but we ALL fear there is no hope for your manners!" This might make her reconsider addressing your
close family in this way. I suspect she continues, because she gets away with it.Alas, there are some people who-if you let yourself become a doormat-will step on you!Also: Auntie, I would not trade one pound of my Mother's goodness for an ounce of your spitefulness! You must not let her step on your Mother!
2006-11-18 02:06:59 · answer #1 · answered by life coach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your sister and mother are targets because there has nver been a response that would make her think twice about saying anything too you all.
Next time she makes a remark. Have your studies ready to share with her. Ask her do you realize what you are doing? Then plop the study down in front of her. Her reading it will keep her quiet for a while.
Or another response can be will when your getting food from a great cook these are the results. Looks like you wouldn't know anything about that?
Or Auntie, I have been thinking your fixation with weight is really concerning me should I book you with doctor PHIL?
Until she is put in her place she will continue this behavior.
2006-11-17 21:48:34 · answer #2 · answered by wondermom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Try to comment on her as well. If she says you gained weight, tell her she looks haggard from when you last saw her and ask her if she's got a lot of problems (or something to that effect). If she tells you look fat like your mom, laugh it off, and tell her she reminds you of some ugly actor (I don't know--think of someone). If she compares herself to other people, always remind her that the other person is more attractive than her and that the other person won't care if she thinks she looks better because "she's happy with herself." Hopefully that will give her an idea.
She's just very insecure that she needs to constantly put people down. Avoid her like a plague and don't listen to her--her words mean nothing to you. So laugh it off if she says something mean.
2006-11-18 01:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult to deal with as she is a relative. I would pull her aside and tell her that what she is saying offends you and that you had hoped she would love you enough not to dwell on superficial things like weight. She sounds like she has low self esteem herself, if the only way she can feel good, is when she puts down others. If you wanted to be more aggressive you could start thinking about what things make her feel bad about herself and next time she puts you down, put her down with a comment that offends her. However, I think it is best to try and work it out peacefully.
2006-11-17 21:51:28 · answer #4 · answered by Lilly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are two types of people around us, one is our friends where we can choose, the other is our families and relative where we can't choose. Human nature is to go for the easy target. If she always target you and your families, probably you all never sound your unpleasant over her comment. Try do it once in a polite way, she will stop targetting you.
2006-11-19 13:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her 'If this helps to make you feel better about yourself, we are glad we are here to show you the support that you badly needed for so long. By the way, ever heard of meditation or yoga? I think they might help you with your emotional struggles. Do take good care of yourself, we are all very concerned about you.'
2006-11-18 00:50:57 · answer #6 · answered by citrusy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore them
or try explaining how rude they are but in a nice way maybe they well listen
show that u are better
use these words:
"if i get bad words from the worse people..that only proves that I'm so good for them"
lol
god bless
2006-11-18 00:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shrewd come backs... Funnier.. Hey She cannot be perfect make jokes on the way she dresses, her hair, her way of talk.... and make it so fast that she even does not have a chance to answer.
2006-11-17 21:44:04 · answer #8 · answered by Chichou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wel my friend an eye for an eye is good answer BUT wat you think is wrong she makes fun of you and your family its not a BIG problem as you think just take it lightly and start making fun of your self with her if she laugh at you laugh with her and youll feel good i can bet and if it dosent works than start giving her cute gifts and help her then she will change
on this i can bet myself it WILL work
2006-11-17 22:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by sunny k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she has all the qualifications for a loud mouth hooker, is she one?
2006-11-17 22:32:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋