my dad starting to date again should i be happy for him?

Question

my dad startid dateing agen but i don't want him to start dateing yet it feel ilke he forgot that my mom died in a car crash in 2004 i feel so sad. what sould i do help

im 13 year old not that close to my dad

Answer 1

You should let grown ups do what grown ups do you prude....your dad needs to move on and apparently so do you. :Let your dad get his groove on and mind your business lil kid

Answer 2

You should be happy for your dad. He lost someone he loved very much, and must be feeling lonely. You will grow up & have a life of your own one day. Would you really want your dad to be alone and sad for the rest of his life because you can't stand the thought of him being happy with another woman? Good for him to get you to lose weight - he obviously loves you a great deal & doesn't want you to suffer with ill health brought on by your diabetes. And surely it's a good thing that he wants to be fit also? Stop being a spiteful little child & ebcourage your dad to be happy again. We all take different times to get over a loss; your dad is at least making an effort. Sadly, your mom is gone and you must all now make the most of this situation - you cannot change it. it is not your decision as to if/when he should go out with someone else. It's his decision, his life. He will not forget your mom or love you any less; he will love you more if you can be happy to see him happy. The family will NOT be wrecked, it will get stronger with love. Do not be afraid of the future and moving forward. Your mom would want you all to be happy, wouldn't she?

Answer 3

I'm so sorry about your mum.
I don't think that because your dad is dating again it means that he has forgotten your mum. If they were truly in love, that will be there always. The pain your dad has gone through and still has must be incredible. I think the shock and loneliness of finding yourself alone again after you have found the person you love and want to be with for the rest of your life must be devastating. If your dad has met someone that he wants to spend time with, I think you should try to make it easy for him, even if it feels difficult. There's no harm in telling him that you feel sad about it too, but that you will try to be happy for him - it's better to be open rather than bottle things up. I know how destroying it is to lose a parent unexpectedly early, it shakes the whole family throughout and you just have to get on as best as you can - which at times feels like not at all. Good luck with the situation.

Answer 4

Hey, just try putting your dad's feelings above yours. It's so easy to be a little selfish here and think of your own I know but the fact is life goes on and your dad needs that loss to be filled in some way. His only other option is to sit and be depressed about the sad loss of mum and that is hardly an option. Of course your feelings are absolutely natural and your mum remains dear in your heart but the fact is your dad is so very much alone now and he deserves a life. Just make sure that this woman has your dad's interests at heart and be happy for him. Time will heal the loss for all of you ..... I guarantee that!

Answer 5

I have had friends in your situation and feeling exactly what you feel. I think it's normal. however I think you need to realise that your dad dating doesn't mean he has forgotten your mum at all. he will never forget her but he deserves a chance of happiness for the rest of his life too. I think you should try to be happy for him. Also discuss how you really feel with him. tell him you are worried that your mum is being forgotten. He may need to consider your feelings too. You may not like every date he has, and that may be really tough and upsetting for you. one day one may come that you really hit it off with and over time you will be able to accept her. Most important is that the date makes your dad happy. Remember he is not looking to replace your mother but looking for a new companion yourself. Don't give the dates a hard time as the situation can be really hard for them too. Good luck. I hope it all works out well for you and your dad.

Answer 6

Killa there is no way he will ever forget your mum - every time he looks at you no doubt he remembers her - after all she was his wife and your mum. You dont say how old you are but no doubt you will soon be off doing your own things in life - do you want your dad to be a lonely little man sitting indoors on his own moping - or worse still holding you back with him because he doesnt want to be on his own. Talk to him love, tell him how you feel and maybe arrange to go often to mums grave so you know he hasnt forgotten her. I'm sure it must be so hard for him too - please talk to him and you'll understand much more of how he's feeling. Good luck xxxxxxxx

Answer 7

First, I'm very sorry that you lost your Mom. Second, talk to your Dad, and let him know your feelings. I'm sure that he'll tell you that your Mom will always hold a special place in his heart. He has grieved for her and is moving on with his life. Have you spoken to a counselor about your feelings? It sounds like you are still grieving for your Mom. A counselor will help you through the process and help you to move on with your life. Would your Mom want to you to be sad, or enjoying your life? However, there are days when it's okay to just stop and honor her. Maybe on days that are important (her birthday, Mother's Day, the day she died) you can go to the cemetery and put flowers on her grave. On days you feel like not doing anything and have to do things anyway, maybe you can say to yourself, "Mom, I really don't want to do this. I'm doing it anyway, for you." There is nothing easy about losing someone important in your life. I hope you heal soon. Your Mom sounds like a very special lady! You were very lucky to have her for the time that you did.

Answer 8

that is your feelings and you need to set them aside and wish him some happiness.
He has not forgotton his wife.
I lost mine almost 4 years ago and there is not a day that goes by that I have forgotton her.
regardless of whether he dates or not, is not the point.'
You have to let go also... you have to think of your dad and see that he remians happy and active in life.
it appears and I could be wrong, but you just might be feeling yu will lose him if he dates another woman. let go of that.
you are his child and he will always be there for you.
decide to let him be happy and encourge him to date.
I havent and it is lonely and hard being alone. Now that I read your question, I am going to try a few dates at least for companionship. have a great day and wish dad some happiness.

Answer 9

While it is sad for you that your mom died, you really have to let your father move on with his life.

He will never forget your mother.

Think what your mother would have wanted. She would want your father to live his life. They may even have spoken about this you know - many married couples do, just in case something happens.

The best thing you can do is be supportive of your father.

He has grieved for your mother, now it is time for him to continue on life's journey.

Having said all that, please don't feel bad about the way you feel either. To a certain extent the way you are feeling is natural. Seeing your father with another woman will bring back memories for you. Accept the feelings of sadness as normal, and I agree with another poster who suggested you seek some counselling for yourself to help you move forward too.

If this is a nice lady, she may be a very good friend for you and your father.

Answer 10

I'll tell you the same thing my boyfriend told me b/f he died: I want you to be happy and move on. Dwelling on the past makes a person bitter and cold. Your dad has not for got about your mom. No one will ever take her place. Trust me, but sometimes people need to move on. Which would you rathered see, your dad depressed and lonely the rest of his life, or happy and loving and caring? If you don't care about your dad and his feelings, then maybe you are only thinking of yourself. I'm not saying that you are. But honestly, it is good for him. Accept it and be happy for him.

Answer 11

Yes do try to be happy for him, he can never forget your mom she's imprinted on his heart and for the rest of his life he will not forget her, but like others have said he obviously feels its time to move on, and if you think your nervous about his dating, just imagine what he's like, he's probably wondering what your going to be thinking. Why not have a little chat with your dad just to let him know how your feeling right now.