any dirty joke?to send as an sms?

Answer 1

one man's wife was sleeping on the bed naked and spreading her legs and told the man,"understood something?"
man: u idiot u want to sleep alone in the bed.


judge: why u want divorce?
he: she does not satisfy me sexually.
judge: is it correct?
she: entire area is satisfied only he is not satisfied.

Answer 2

here try some of these.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

all short & sweet.
:)

Answer 3

☻Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast
tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d
breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet!

☻Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I press u in my car. Up
above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let
me suck you, dont feel shy.

☻Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your
bre asts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me
take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged

☻The sky is blue,grass is green,harder the fu ck the
louder the scream,louder the scream the better the
fcuk,give me a ring u might be in luck

☻Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she
lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2
stones with the help of a crane.

☻A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after se x?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.



☻rooster&cat goin over bridge,cat slips&falls in
river.rooster cant stop laughin.wats D moral?whereva
therZ a wet pus sy therZ a happy co ck

☻LUV D WAY IT RUBS AGAINST D SOFT PINK FLESH N MAKES A
CREAMY FOAMY LIQUID AS IT THRUSTS IN&OUT,UP&DOWN,CAN`T
WAIT 4 NEXT TIME.LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH

3 Choices -

A man wanted 2 get married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wid big tit s!



Today in style ...

Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!



My days ...

I only have SE X on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Every thucking day!

23 useless parts

23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 co ck that cant "crow".dont laff ladies??UR PU SSY CANT CATCH MICE

Wont go down?

T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network

Answer 4

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q.What do SMART Sardars and UFO's have in common?
A.You always hear about them but never see them.

Q.Why did the Sardars stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A.Because it said concentrate.
Oh look, Daddy...Donut seeds.

Q.Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
A.They think their picture is being taken.

Q.How can you tell when a Sardars sends you a fax?
A.It has a stamp on it.

Q.Why can't Sardars dial 911?
A.They can't find the 11 on the phone!

Answer 5

Not dirty. but ok 4 u 4 sms.
A group of elephants were sitting on the side of a street. A sexy female elephant passes by. 1 of the Loafer Elephant comments, WOW !!!! 3600...2400...3600 !!!

Answer 6

Give your mobile No...SMS jokes will be sent........hahahaha.....

Here is one as advance:

Sardar was raping a girl in a car.
A police came and said ' what are you doing'
Sardarji: 'I am raping a girl'
Police: Ok, I am next,
Sardarji: No, No, I never rape a police....

Answer 7

Always. Umm let me get one out of my sleeve for you.
"A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you **** is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113." That why i always take a lift even if it a short distance up.

Answer 8

Two guys on a monday night who want too go to bar and get drunk but between the both of them they only have $3.00. so the one guy sees a hot dog stand and says i have a idea. so he goes an gets a hot dog and puts it down his pants. the other guy says what the hell are doing? "when we get the tap i want you to drop too your knees and start suck it" the other looks at him and starts LOL but says ok. so they go into a bar haves a few beers, couple of shots and bartender says that will $17,. one guy said now, so he drops to his knees and starts going to town. Bartender pulls out a shot gun and says get the hell out of my bar. So they go all night bar to bar getting kicked out.10 bars. And the one guy says man my knees hurt. And the other guy says yeah my D#$% hurts. one guy says why does your d#$% hurt? And he says i lost the hot dog after the 3rd bar.

Answer 9

Don't tell anyone.....i'm gonna go down on you!And you're going to love it.But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it.Then I'm going to come back up again and **** you big time.








Yours sincerely,Petro Prices XXXX

Ha ha ha hope you liked it

Answer 10

Two college girls stopped to a banana seller and asked the rate.
The seller told 0 - three bananas for one rupee.
The girls insisted that but we want two only but the vendor isisted that i shall give only three. then, one girl told the other , why are you arguing un-necessarily. we shall eat one.

Answer 11

Blonde: I think my t i ts are full of water.
Doctor: How do u figure that?
Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my p u s sy gets wet