My daughter is in preschool and they celebrate everything! Every child's birthday is celebrated in class. Being new to this I'm not sure the proper procedure for gifts. Are you obligated to give a gift even if the child doesn't have a party outside of school? We have missed several already and I didn't even give it a second thought until now. My child's birthday is coming up soon and I want to make sure I haven't screwed things up for her. We are planning on having a party and inviting the entire class but not all the children who have had past birthdays invited her to a party. What is the proper procedure these days? Help!
2006-11-17 20:20:02 · 16 answers · asked by ceedream 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Thanks for the quick responses!
I didn't mean to sound like it was all about the gift. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't offending anyone by not sending a something to school when there wasn't a formal party that my child was invited to. And - as for inviting the entire class to her party. It's not about trying to get a gift from 18 kids, it's about inclusion! It just doesn't seem right to only invite part of the group. These kids are too young to start learning predjudice and exclusion now. They have plenty of time to learn the cruel lessons that life will teach them. I don't plan on being their first negative life lesson. How do you exclude a 4 year old? It doen't seem fair to only invite a part of the class when they are all friends at this age. All of the parents have some communication with one another however brief. I don't care if they bring a gift or not, just as long as they have fun and my daughter's birthday is the best she has ever had! Thanks again!
2006-11-17 21:18:01 · update #1
No, you are not obligated to give a birthday gift to the children in your daughter's preschool class. All birthdays are celebrated in the classroom by the students and teachers. Sometimes parents may be asked to bring cupcakes for the class celebration.
2006-11-17 20:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by danaluana 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't think that if they have a party given in the preschool that you would be obligated to send a specific gift. If it is your child's regular day at school, they are going there anyway... You haven't been invited to anything, and you aren't doing anything out of the norm- how are you to know that it is another child's birthday in the class? If the parents invite you to a party outside of the school setting, then, yes, you should bring a gift. But a party that just happens to take place during the school day- no, you should not bring a gift. Most likely, the parents have arranged with the teacher what they are bringing, and the teaching staff will provide the child with a small gift from the teachers and children. You don't have to give a gift for each child in the class every time there is a party... you'll be broke!
2006-11-18 07:57:09 · answer #2 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is ever obligated to give any one a gift!
Gifts have to do with relationships, not because someone is standing there. I think it would be improper for the school to support children bringing gifts for class birthday parties! What happens for the children who have birthdays on the days school is not in session?
As for a party in your home, I suggest that you send the invitation to the parent. If it is to be for the child's class, how will you get in touch with all of the parents? How will you get names and addresses? Or, are you going to trust the children to take your invitation to their parents.
2006-11-17 20:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't think that it's required. I certainly wouldn't feel obligated unless my child was invited to their birthday party with thrown by the parents and the child on there own. Otherwise I would think it's kind of extreme. I wouldn't worry about whether it's been ruined or not, the parents should recognize that it's an involuntary party, and therefore the presents aren't required because if that were the case the school would practically be forcing you to spend money which isn't appropriate by any means.
2006-11-17 20:28:01 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. Unless there was a party that your child went to, no presents were needed for class parties. As for a party, I'd only invite your child's friends. My kids go to a private sitter. While there are only a few kids there, I don't really know the other parents well enough to have them bring their kid and a gift to a party for my son. That's just me.
2006-11-17 20:38:44 · answer #5 · answered by Stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a PreSchool Teacher. NO! No presents are necessary. Giving presents to one child and not all of them creates problems in the classroom. Children feel left out, insecure, they will act out negative behavior and of course try to steal the present. NOT A GOOD IDEA.
Only if child has a party and you are invited, then by all means, bring a gift.
2006-11-18 04:21:59 · answer #6 · answered by L R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your child goes to a childs birthday party...YES you send a gift! That does not include in Class "party". Either invite all the Children or all the girls, anything else is just cruel
2006-11-17 20:27:45 · answer #7 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For my son's 4th birthday I invited the whole class and only about a third showed up.So I'd suggest you invite everyone. As for buying a gift for a child in her class where she didnt even get an invite to the party is ridiculos dont do it. Its setting a very expensive precedent and it wont be happening in big school.
2006-11-17 22:59:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You don't have to invite the whole class to the party, either.
The class celebration is not a party, and at most a parent can bring some snacks, cookies, etc. for all the kids involved.
The party at your house is for your child to invite her friends. Then, they are expected to bring presents. Inviting everybody wouldn't be nice: it's like demanding them to bring a present, even if they didn't invite your daughter to their party (meaning your daughter didn't give them presents).
Hope it helps.
2006-11-17 20:34:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!
You are never obligated when it comes to giving. And I really think that it is important to teach your child what's important and that's friendship not superficial things like gifts. At this point in your child's life most of his or her friends are their classmates. I think the easiest thing to give is Birthday cards with a couple of Dollars or maybe a MC Donald's gift certificate. Good Luck!!
2006-11-17 20:37:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋