my single daughter doesnt communicate with me or her mother although we all love each other a lot.?

Question

she is intelligent but short tempered and cannot listen anything against her frens.also she is too much into phones,how to get her communicate well with us?help

Answer 1

When children withdraw from their parents, it is a natural part of growing up when they want to find their own identity, their foot hold in the world they now inhabit; they will have to leave the nest one day.

So a part of growing up as a parent is also letting go when she starts using the very wings you have helped her grow. So your lesson would be to learn to let go, and allow her to come back on her own terms and not she has to or she should, let her feel welcomes and safe enough always to comeback though.

Sometimes children also withdraw when they have been hurt while growing up by their parents and loose their emotional bearings with them, as that emotional has been left largely unsaid, unheard and unforgiven. So they withdraw in retaliation, so do you know what it is?

Try asking her that sometime, that did we do anything that made you feel hurt or rejected in way, that you have rejecting us back? If yes, than acknowledging and asking forgiveness for that can heal those wounds and bring your family together again. To join something back, we also need to know when did it snap and why.

Once that is clear you can be sure that it has nothing to do with you, she just needs more time and space away from you, so that she can find her own roots, spiritual, mental as well as emotional.

One thing is clear that she doesn't like to hear about her friends,, I understand that, as our friends are the second family we create once we come into our self, so you trying berate or put down her family in any way will naturally backfire on you. Allow her to live her life and make mistakes and learn through them as that is an essential part of growing up. Just make sure you are there when she needs you.

Making some you love, love you back is a primordial problem, even God's struggles there as He has given us all his Freewill.

Have patience and allow her to come to you on her own terms.

If she feel too restricted or controlled or even unaccepted around you, then also she might have withdrawn, and let her know that you are willing to change there, for one single reason that you love her as every parent does. and also as the human being that she has grown up to be today, and that could be the most crucial change giving her respect and honour as an adult in her own right and not as your little baby girl, who once pranced around pink skirt and a lovely tiara, she will always remain that in your heart, but let know that she is what she is now, out her choices and you respect and love for that.

Answer 2

Is she a teenager.? Then most teenagers do not want to talk to their parents, EVER. Being a teenager comes being short tempered and not listening. No matter what, most of the time she will not listen to you, her parent, about how bad you think her friends are. She will have to see that for herself.

As for the phone, You pay the bill, Take the phone away from her. Lock up in another room when you are not home. Keep it in another room when you are home, so she can not use it.

Only time will help you communicate with her. Have Patience's it will come.

Answer 3

Your daughter is just trying to find her place in this technical world,every teen or pre adult is fixed to their phone.Her only get away from lifes troubles are her friends so why your pulling them down to her she will always defend them.
Just say to your daughter 'how are things' you dont need to go on at her and then expect her to talk to you.
How old is your daughter by the way?
My mum and dad really used to annoy me,they used to constantly want to know my business,they even searched my room for as they put it 'drugs' i didnt even drink or smoke.
Just keep a distant eye on your girl,you dont need to know her every move and invading some-one's privacy is really rude.
Just because she uses her phone all the time and prefer's her friends doesnt mean she is up to anything and from your email you seem to doubt your daughter and her level of sense.
If you back off you will see a difference in her and remember,its not easy growing up nowadays,kids grow up so quick because they are forced to(society,technology etc) so be a little patient with her,,good luck

Answer 4

This is the same problem everywhere dear, my sister is there she loves me and parents very much, and we too. But shes engaged in phone so much that she hardly get time to speak to us or be with us, whenever we speak about her friends or telling to give us mobile back, she gets short tempered, so the best cure is you keep loving her, whenever she needs your help she would definitely find you always.

Answer 5

I'm taking a guess that shes a teenager. and well i went through the same thing with my daughter. i think all parents go through it with their kids. but i would take phone away for awhile. i would make a family night. and tell everyone that whatever is going on in their life is all to be laid out on table. make family night same night every week which means during this time no TV, phone, going out with friends and so on. if none of this works i would think about family counselling. i feel for you been there done that! Good Luck! :)

Answer 6

Love is communicating. Love is not short tempered. Love is patient.
So what you think love is - isn't.

She will eventually communicate with you when she selfishly needs something, like money or a favor.

Answer 7

What I can make out from your question your daughter must be between 14yrs-22yrs. This is a problem with kids of this age its hormonal changes in their body makes them like this and they are interested in people of their age group and are looking for sexual partners. this does not mean they are involving sexually but due to hormonal changes in their body they get attracted towards it.Tell your wife to now treat her as a friend and discuss with her all frankly its only she who can do it openly not you.

Answer 8

raj...you need to be friend of your daughter..the best friend...she would like to be in comapny of its not hard..but its not easy either...treat her like an adult...even if for you she is a kid she thinks she is grown up so treat her the way she wants..be patient with her...try to communicate..at dinner time say good things..appreciate her quality..her academic performance..sports performance..dance performance..anything..say good ..and naturally and gradually she will feel you are proud of her and she will start talking to you..and your wife...she need to be patience to..she may be worried as she is amother...and have anxiety about her daughter...you should support her and help to bring your family emotionally close together....see....Mitr....my friend.....movie..it will help...good luck

Answer 9

Kids are like that.
Just take it when you can.

She is of a different generation

Answer 10

Be patient and be there when she needs you.