i've been in a long distance relationship for 9 months now and all we have to keep our relationship going are long chats in the weekend and some texts and short calls during the week.last week my bf got a second job which took our chats away cos he has to work then.btw he took the 2nd job for me.anyway,i feel like he is slipping through my fingers.i feel an emotional distance.he used to send me a text everyday and now he doesnt.actually i have had no text from him since tuesday.he sent me one on thursday but thats after i sent him one.i dont know if i am being paranoid but i have never felt this way before.i feel threatened and insecure.i love my bf to tatters.what do i do? please tell me what to do.please.
2006-11-17 19:20:48 · 12 answers · asked by niambie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well working a second job is really hard but why don't you get a boyfriend that's near you?
2006-11-17 19:23:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know just what you are going through. For the last few months I have felt so distant from my fiance. First I got a new job and then he had some things happen in his life. We don't get to spend half the time together we use to and we hardly get to talk on line or the phone. I've talked to him about it and he has assured me everything is fine and he loves me, but I still feel insecure and I worry I am losing him. I have decided if what he and I share is real love and meant to be.......no matter the time or distance, it will be. If what we have is only temporary and can't withstand the changes in our lives, then it's best for us to take a break from each other and see where our hearts truly are. I love him dearly as I know you love your guy. It's hard when you've spent alot of time together and you get used to things being that way and then all of a sudden things change. We have to just remember the kind of guy we have and trust that their love is real for us and go with the flow. Time will tell if it is meant to be or not. Good luck and I hope you two work it all out.
2006-11-17 19:32:47 · answer #2 · answered by softlyinspired 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you were out in his area living with him, do you think his work situation would be the same, or less? How is his 2nd job for you working out to your benefit anyway?
After living in text messages and such, how would you feel if a cute guy came on to you that was local, or you just happened to be eyeing up a guy passing by you? Chances are that person isn't working out of your area if he's right there. You gotta do what's best for you in this case. You're missing out on a whole lot more by holding on to whatever you have in this current relationship. Even if your current bf cuts down the work hours, how does that benefit you without warm arms to hold and protect you, and a calm voice to soothe you?
2006-11-17 19:30:30 · answer #3 · answered by Eric B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that I don't have better advice but my advice is don't get into or stay with a "long distance" relationship.. The whole purpose of being in a relationship is to be together isnt' it??? So, how could you expect a relationship with someone you can not "be together" with?
- I don't have personal experience here but I always hear the same end for this.. one or the other ends up finding someone to "be together" with where they are.
- I'm sorry; but I'm optimistic you may be able to be the first to overcome this.. However, the distance you're feeling may be a sign... What does your gut tell you??...
2006-11-17 19:31:28 · answer #4 · answered by gjm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hun, if you love him i mean really LOVE him and he loves you, then you'll just have to hold on. Long distance is never easy, so maybe you should tell him that you feel like you are losing him and just let him know that you dont want to, im not saying that he should give up his jobs or anything. But by letting him know maybe he will tell you that he isnt going to let the relationship end b/c of the long distance. So just stick it out and HOLD on....if its not real love then hun i think you need to just let him go as hard as it may be, somehow it just might be easier. Good Luck Hun!
2006-11-17 19:29:32 · answer #5 · answered by curious 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is really nothin gthat will make it better, unless you move or he moves to be closer to you.
In all long distance relationships, there is alot of longing and lonliness since you are apart with no actual physical time being spent together..
This is the main reason long distance love usually does not work out.
When people get lonley, they tend to look elsewhere for what they are missing and for companionship..once that happens, they have slipped away through your fingers...
Good Luck
2006-11-17 19:26:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget him. Two people have to spend time together to make the relationship work. Text messaging is not a relationship. You are living in a fantasy world.
Your problem is that you are lonely. Go out and have fun.
2006-11-17 19:26:56 · answer #7 · answered by mrgogee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....the old saying is a good one.....let something go and if it comes back to you it was meant to be.
if there are no set plans for you two to be together soon, i would really start to think about getting the heartbreak over now and get on with your life. if he is not making a solid attempt at this then start having some fun....he will either chase you or he wont, but you will know....good luck to you
2006-11-17 19:29:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Know what? We women are sensitive when it comes to that. Why not confront him first. Then if it is true, move on with your life. Afterall, he is not the only fish in the ocean. It would be painful at first but you'll eventually forget aboyut him and how it feels.
2006-11-17 19:25:32 · answer #9 · answered by mared 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...its expected since its a long distance rel...try to settle things...discuss ur situation with him...over the phone or personally if u can. there's no point in going on with the relationship if u know deep inside u that it wont work out. face reality and and discuss it with him...if it doesnt work out...move on.
2006-11-17 19:37:30 · answer #10 · answered by roj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋