Ok, i found out about 5 months ago that my ex bf cheated on me and now hes engaged and when we talk it feels like he doesnt care about me at all anymore and I used to think he was my best friend and it really hurts to go from loving him as much as I did and him being my only and best friend to finding out that he cheated and now I cant even trust him as a friend. My question is, how long is this gonna hurt? Its been so long, I thought the pain would've been gone by now but its not. So if you can tell me any way of getting rid of the pain would really be appreciated. And I've seen people say that finding somebody else will make it feel better, but I'm Very shy with guys so finding somebody else isnt really that easy for me.
2006-11-17 18:56:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am very sad that you are hurting so much. Some wounds are very deep and take a long time to heal. You deserve to be loved and cared for! I can't even imagine how much it must hurt to have someone you care about so much do that to you. I don't know if you believe in God, but I do and I believe that he can heal us. I believe that forgiveness is the key to overcoming your hurt. I know it is extremely difficult, but if you can try to push angry feelings away and forgive him for what he has done, you will feel better. I do not believe that finding someone else is the right solution. It is a way to cover or bury your pain, but not heal it. Pray for strength, don't be ashamed to cry, and turn to good friends for support. I will keep you in my prayers as well.
2006-11-17 19:01:57 · answer #1 · answered by ineedalotofyou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you see him on a regular basis..Is that true, if so it's going to take a lot longer than if you very seldom see him.. I feel your pain, my wife and l have been married for almost six years now and last week she left me.. All l seem to do is sit around and think about her.. We were perfect together, she was my one and only best friend and love of my life, we have two kids together (one is 7 and the other is 4) l want to call and talk to the kids but every time l do that l end up trying to talk to her instead.. I love my family and it hurts to know there are gone but l have faith that one day things will be different for me and you should too.. If you do see him regularly try to change that (l know it's hard but you really have no choice on the matter) so you don't suffer any more than you absolutely have to.. There's an old saying that if you love something let it go if it comes back it was meant to be.. The pain is only temporary, get a friend to spend time with to try to occupy your mind a Little..Good luck to you
2006-11-17 19:29:43 · answer #2 · answered by john316tdh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm.. am really sorry to hear this... i think you should get a grip of the whole situation... every wound takes it own time to heal... but as it goes" time is always the best healer"
donot think in the line that he was your best friend and you lost someone who is close to you or anything like that. basically he is not exactly a good person at heart and it is good that you get to know before it was too late.. . and also he is not fit to call a friend also , because friendz donot cheat ..nobody wants to have a friend who is a cheater....
i think you should avoid him for sometime... and start concentrating on his bad qualities ( m sure he has many) .. just to get over it.. for sometime...later you will realize that it is easier than you think... and one day you will feel you are indifferent when it comes to him....
all the best and take care...
2006-11-17 20:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by hi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not really a time limit as to how long you're going to hurt. Everyone's different.
The only thing I can say to you is do what I did; take up a new hobby, like cycling, tae bo, or something similar. It not only exercises you, but takes your mind off the pain for a little while.
If you need to talk, feel free to email me =]
2006-11-17 19:06:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take a while to find someone else, but you could stop talking to your ex right now, and that will begin to make it better.
If he was your only friend, that wasn't a healthy relationship.
Talk to guys assuming that nothing is going to happen with them, that will take the pressure off you to impress them.
2006-11-17 19:03:18 · answer #5 · answered by randomstupidhandle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time, prayer and as many good cries as it takes. Its hard when you love someone so much and they do something to hurt you or just leave you behind. Be patient you deserve better than someone who would cheat on you anyway and someday it will find you. Good Luck!
-NmD!
2006-11-17 19:01:36 · answer #6 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will get better sooner if you can forgive him and move on. Don't forgive him for his sake, but for yours. Holding onto the past isn't healthy. If he liked you then other guys will too. Don't worry about finding the right guy.
2006-11-17 19:01:14 · answer #7 · answered by dantheman_028 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy has moved on with his life.. and as long as you continue thinking of him.. u will be hurt.. Try to move on and soon u will forget and be happy.. Good luck
2006-11-17 19:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by julia1975 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear love always hurt esp. when we realise that our love is not reciprocated. just move on gently and put him aside, when the special someone come and when both of u know it is mutual, it will work out by itself and things will fall in place. cheers.
2006-11-17 19:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes 1 month for ever year you were together to get over him. Or just slut out and find another man
2006-11-17 18:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by Good S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋