there this girl i work with and we both were dating other people. She wanted to sleep with me because she wanted to see if i can back up all the stuff i was talking.We slept 2gether and the we started hanging together a whole lot.Her boyfriend is physically and mentally abusive to her.I told her all the time you need to leave him and she says shes scared to start over and she love him.on the otherhand we still sleeping together and hangout a while lot. she even told me she love me. she left him and moved to her mother's house and still coming to see me.. so the other day she tell me she is pregant, i was appauld.1 month we didnt sleep 2gether out of the 4 months we was talking so she said its his. She got the results from the hospital from when her boyfriend put her in there due to the abuse. last night she told me that she is gonna go back to him beacuse she is pregant and its only right. then she states they are getting married and he told me dont call her no more.What should i do?
2006-11-17 18:44:25 · 15 answers · asked by imighttelluwhoiam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This poor girl is so traumatized that she doesn't know what she is feeling or how to get control of her life. The abuse she is subjected to has made her life become so severely distorted that her priorities are mismanaged. She is beyond knowing who she loves and too paralyzed with fear to know what is a right course of action for her. She is obviously easily manipulated both by what ever "stuff" you were telling her and by being trapped in this dead end abusive relationship with the monster boyfriend. To further compound her desperation she has fallen pregnant. You're correct. It is appalling. So much so that the abusive rat-friend of hers has taken total control of her life. Don't think for one minute that it was her decision not to see you anymore. What ever she has "stated" to you is through his will because she has no will of her own. Her life is in complete control by that bastard she is shackled to. That pig is calling the shots. He's the one who has forbidden her to call you. He's the one who has brainwashed her into marrying.
You need to ask yourself how much you care about her. If you do care enough how can you intervene on her behalf to get her away from the abuse? It's almost impossible to get someone out of an abusive situation unless they are willing to do so. For her she would need a whole network of support. For sure that guy needs to be locked up. Just hope that he doesn't kill her to make that happen. If he's hospitalized her once it's likely to get even worse. For now just wait and see what happens. She may soon come running back to you.
2006-11-17 20:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhh, that's a tough situation. Honestly, you did your best to try to bring her around. She chose the wrong route (in my opinion) and there's nothing you can do. You have to get over this. It just didn't work. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's true. Let her go and move on with your life. One problem! If the child is yours........that's the problem. You need to find out where she's going with that. Good luck........I hope everything goes well for you.
2006-11-17 18:54:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
INSIST that she take a paternity test on the unborn child (it's possible).
If it is your child, INSIST that she immediately leave the other guy, and that she (and you) have no contact with him. You are morally, legally, and financially responsible for the child. Congratulations.
If it is not your child, cut all ties with this woman. Request a job transfer, or find another job. Get your s**t together. Don't sleep with a woman if she's sleeping with other guys, period. No excuses.
Good luck.
2006-11-17 18:48:00 · answer #3 · answered by k2j2unk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get her to undersyand that she shouldnt be abused by him cause she may not make it to the end of her pregnancy, insist that she listens but if she doenst then just let her be cause she will have to find out the hard way. I know that sounds rough but you can only do so much.
2006-11-17 18:48:47 · answer #4 · answered by BabyGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is having his baby, and she wants to marry him then you need to let her go..If you pursue her, that may make things worse between the two of you..I dont understand why some women stay in abusive relationships..Hopefully she will make it through her pregnancy ok..
2006-11-17 18:49:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's real simple. If she wants to take the abuse and keep getting the s**t kicked out of her, then there is nothing you can do about it.
Time to let her take her lumps, and for you to move on.
2006-11-17 18:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by kamikaze_4021 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
forget about her its gonna be hard but its the right thing to do for yourself if you dont let go of her it will haunt you forever but you will need time to move on but just remember there is plenty more girls out there so good luck
2006-11-17 18:48:31 · answer #7 · answered by mustang_rws 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it seems strange but, some people like to be abused. The funny thing is- is that many don't admit it, they just don't do anything about their abuse other than complain.
2006-11-17 18:58:54 · answer #8 · answered by manywarhoops 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on! Don't call her anymore! There are plenty of women out there, why bother yourself with this one!
2006-11-17 18:50:58 · answer #9 · answered by pete 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave the situation alone before you make it worse, and ultimately she'll have to pay for the things you do, just forget about her, find someone new.
2006-11-17 18:47:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋